|Reviews for By the Edge of the Water|
| Atomitrox chapter 3 . 9/16/2018
Hmm, this is interesting thus far. I do like Kasey's takes on the people around him. Would like to see more social interaction, even if it's something Kasey isn't into. I imagine there will be some of that at the summer festival?
| Accidentally The Whole Fanfic chapter 1 . 7/12/2017
So, this is an interesting start. I'm curious as to where this is going to lead in the long run - starting after Kasey's already lived in Castanet for a bit, and right after he's also had his shit wrecked. And, of course, the possible set-ups re: Kathy and Maya (I do pity Maya, though - she was written in such an incredibly obnoxious manner in AP that I can't help but feel a bit bad). Since it looks like the bell storyline's being tackled here, too, I'm curious to see what touches you'll provide to it - if you'll stick to the in-game presentation, or if you'll give it your own spin.
Even though I normally don't like those types of characters much, I actually do like the grouchy, introverted, snarky, blunt, cynical, and sort of bitchy Kasey we've got here, especially since while he's fun to read, it also makes him sort of a flawed jackass, too. He seems to also have a bit of social anxiety going on that he masks with being a butthole. He actually reminds me a LOT of Chase here (Chasey? I know - awful. No regrets), so it'll be interesting to see his development, and interactions, and how it'll all unfold.
There are a few spots that need cleanup, though. I think a lot of it is technical stuff, really... I may have missed some, but some fixes to suggest:
"ready to be harvest" - harvested
"streun" - strewn
"yeah, yeah." I interrupted - should change the period to a comma, since his "I interrupted" pertains to the speech, still.
"[and] everything I'd grown [had been] thrown" - just insert the bracketed words to make the list finish off properly - same for the following:
"I swear[,] if"
"The lack of follow up[,] however"
"Sir, with all due respect" - probably should be a comma after, rather than a period, since basically leads into the next statement.
...There may have been others... but, like I said, it's mostly just a little cleaning up that could be done. Wasn't too jarring, though. I'll keep an eye on this one. Good start.