So read about half of this but honestly it’s just way to repetitive scenes of Bataar getting drunk, hitting things and swearing. She’s also dumb as fuck so you don’t really root for her or relate to her. She has no purpose aside from drinking and you basically wrote over a 100k words of her doing that. She has no depth or likeability because she’s just a dumb as fuck drunk waste of space. Her original mother must be disgusted with what she is. I’m curious as to why you wrote such a one dimensional unlikeable character? Like where are you going with this. Is she gonna be drunk on the floor somewhere while WOL does their thing? Just let everything pass her by cos she’s too dumb to understand anything?

Not to put too fine a point on it, but... you put 'Nanamo' in several places where 'Lilira' would've been more appropriate. Might want to give this chapter anothrr pass.

I look forward to seeing the future misadventures of these misfits.

I don't know how this doesn't have a metric fuckton more reviews, this is a GREAT story and I hope to see more. There are so few quality FFXIV stories out there it makes me sad. Baatar is so much fun, I can just picture the small foulmouthed Xeala tearing people apart verbally and it makes me laugh so damn hard.

I play FFXIV as a Raen female, my main two classes are Dragoon and Warrior. Just started recently so there are still things I have yet to try or finish(Warrior is at 66 :L) but I have been having a hell of a fun time. Limsa is easily my favorite city even if it has a goofy as hell name.

Anyways, hope to see this continued its really good and I would love to see it finished.

Very nice! If the worldbuilding in the MMO itself truly is as rich and creative as you portray it to be in this story, then I might try playing it sometime.

And the writing here is truly excellent. A gem found in the sewers. Like, leaps and bounds above the average level of writing infesting most fanfic sites.

Not to imply that fanfic has inherently crap writing (though, if you've spent any amount of time browsing this site, it won't necessarily be an unreasonable position to take), but if you gave this story to a person without any knowledge of FFXIV, it's likely that that person won't even realise that this story is a fanfic. Most likely, they would just think that this is some excerpt from some professionally-published fantasy novel or something.

So yeah, good job, and keep writing!

A good 3rd chapter. There are however continuity issues here contradicting the official timeline. All of Eorzea was already aware of Dalamud's impact before the battle of Carteneau and people were already fleeing for possible shelter. Also I think you forgot that Nael drew the moon down for a while with the meteor spell herself before her death in combat against the Warriors of Light. And Dalamud was supposed to be raining down fragments of itself as it got closer to the ground.

Oh damn O.o That was intense.
That was a brilliant escalation to this chapter! Keep it up!

This is awesome! I love the Xaela tribes and I cant wait for more!