I thought Etrigan could only speak in rhyme?

this is just soooo soooo Good!

Is Bizarro going to join the straw hats? Because I could see that happening whether intentionally or not

I confess, the wait is killing me! I want a new cap! (T_T)

Hello,

I generally don’t enjoy one piece fanfiction. Mostly due to loving the series so much. No author i have read has ever written one piece as well as the original author.

I see the direction you are taking the story and that sounds really interesting, however the way you are getting there, doesnt really make sense from one piece perspective. The things the crew have actually done: steal, set up company for medicine, brook performance, etc these all make sense and would be what they would do. Avoiding the justice league, one hundred percent thsi is what they would do, avoiding/running from the heroes, hundred percent they would do this.

Zoro’s eye replacment kind of bothers me, i cant really see him agreeing to this, but a case can be made that he would say “why not” and get it. But the big thing that bothers me, is how you are portraying the entire crew as hating/disliking justice. Which doesnt make sense. None of the crew have ever shown hating justice. Even robin, the person affected the most by the world government, and a much smaller part, the marines, doens thave any issue teaming up with marines.

Luffy himself says that he likes heroes. In fact you can say that luffy himself has dispensed justice in almost every major arc, where the marines were unable, unwilling, or ignorant, he didnt blame the marines for not knowing. He didn't say tear down the system, why is this built the way it is. Luffy is not an idealist, he is a realist, he looks at life how it is, not how it could be. And the entirety of the crew follow him in that regard.

Honestly, the mindset you have the crew adopt towards justice and the ruling body of this world is more in line with how Blackbeard views justice. Inadequate, worthless, hypocritical but unable to be torn down. Easily at least.

One thing to remember is that at the end of the day, every single one of the one piece pirates are selfish. If they cared about how the world is and to better it, they probably would never have left their home island. They would have stayed unable to abandon friends and family and done what they could to better their friends lives, or join the marines and fight the good fight. They have selfishly chosen to follow only their own dreams. A really good example is Yassop who abandoned a wife and child purely to follow his own selfish desire for adventure.

The crew speaking out and criticizing the way this world is makes no sense after they have abandoned their own world to do whatever they want, good or bad. It comes across like they are angry at this world for not allowing them to accomllish their dreams and they are going to nitpick every little stupid thing they think they see, not caring if they misinterpret or take things out of context.

Also, them deciding that things from their world and this world shouldnt mix makes no sense. That sounds like something robin would say offhandedly, then luffy would do that exact thing and she would shrug and be like, “what can you do?” Also zoro’s eye is this exactly, just occured to me while typing.

These are my closing remarks, i think i am going to continue reading but i may drop this story in the next chapter or two. Most character are just too out of character for me. Part of it may be the difference in meduim. One thing that is under appreciated in one piece is how oda does dialogue/thinking. Specifically Luffy, he almost or has never shown luffy using thinking bubbles. Because luffy just says whatever is on his mind. One of the underrated things is that when luffy doesnt talk i cant even imagine what he’s thinking. This kind of thing is really hard to represent in writing.

Thanks,
Sir Cookie (my handle dm me if you want to repsond)

goddammit! since 2017?! why, and how didn't I found this story sooner? fuck!

well, anyway... it seems like a promising start, with a very intriguing concept! let's see where this goes, eh?

I hope the next chapter comes, maybe you could have Orion face Luffy and Orion (just like in the young justice series) show that rage mode that leaves his face like Darkseid's and Luffy shows his gear 4 to defeat him

Also great, maybe the straw hats at the end of this will be seen as something other than criminals?

Also, I honestly thought I would see Zoro and Harley more united, I say, although I like this independence of Harley Quinn. Hmm, I was hoping that she would gain some affection for Zoro since he has green hair and is the complete opposite of Joker, which could make Harley feel something.

You know, you are one of the few authors on the site that do an exceptional job writing Luffy. Most people tend to boil him down to goofiness and only goofiness or for some reason obeying random strangers because they say "Do this or we won't be friends anymore". You capture the essence of luffy outside of his goofiness great, obviously it still happens in the background but for story purposes you capture Luffy's high EQ as well as natural charisma and leadership qualities very well. I enjoy reading your story. Can't wait for your next chapter.

Another excellent chapter! I like how Audrey pretty much literally ran into some of the Straw hats and how quickly she befriended them due to being a fan as well as Nami's "not this plot again" reaction to finding out that Audrey is a Princess. Another good part is the offers Audrey made to get the Straw hats to relocate to Kaznia and Vandal Savage's reaction to seeing them. I also like Luffy's reaction to seeing members of the Justice League and that Ivy made a small army of Harley Quinn clones.
Suggestions: Vandal Savage's millennia of experience using primitive weapons combined with his superhuman strength and healing factor might make him a decent opponent for Zoro, Chopper has been in correspondence with Rick Tyler and Doctor Charles McNider (Dr Mid-Nite) using the name Antony Hiriluk, Nami has stolen Weather Wizards tech and had integrated it into her Clima-tact,

So a thought occurred to me, every earth in the DC Multiverse has a number ie; Earth-12, Earth-50, and the one the straw hats currently inhabitant Earth-508.

And that got me thinking what number would the straw hat's earth have? So, I decided to assign one myself and I went with Earth-561108743 interference to how the straw hat's Devil Fruits follow a kind of pattern using goroawase

Viendo como va todo. Seria interesante que al fin terminen llegando con dr fate y por algo la liga de la justicia obtenga un trozo de ropa de Nico Robin y hagan que fate o zatarra use un hechizo para ver el pasado de robin y vean la destruccion de Ohara.

Y por el lado de los ex-villanos interactuen con un artefacto que los haga ver el enfrentamiento de Zoro contra King.

Y mas aun que joker con the light hagan que algun artefacto recree al mayor enemigo que a enfrentado luffy creyendo que podra derrotarlo y sale una sombra de Kaido. Asi todo dc temblara y luggy usaria el gear 5.

Todo esto porquee encontre un par de ASMVs que estan epicos. Uno es 800 years, y el otro es Zoro king of hell.

A great chapter! I like your use of Amazo and that Cheetah help Franky, or rather "Tom Puffman", in touch with mad Scientists like Ivo. Another good part is the impact that Harley and her "therapy" have had on Mercy. I also like the further explanation of the non-crossover Strawhat's views on hero and justice as well as the "Boxing Lessons" for Superman.

can bring annie back the other part of clayface

when is luffy going to use Gear 5?

HUGE chapter with a lot of good stuff! That's also why this review is a bit late, there's a lot to cover.

Considering one of the main characters in Maid of Honour is a Princess, I already had a pretty good idea of how this was going to go. Nami even pointed it out herself, every time the Straw Hats meet a Princess, there's always a big fight that happens soon after. It's literally a pattern with them. It has to be. You can't say it's just a coincidence when they've met several different Princesses and there's always been a fight involving them and their lands.

As for Audrey herself, by the end of this I'm sure she'll become just like the Straw Hats other Princesses: Glad to have met the kind and powerful pirates despite knowing that they're all completely crazy. However, I also think she'll also have a new hatred of the Justice League at the end of this as well because of Orion. I don't know exactly what he'll do, but I'm sure it'll be something that doesn't look good for the rest of the Justice League.

Vandal Savage. If there was ever a time he wished he wasn't immortal, I think that time is about to come. I can picture all kinds of things happening to him and that's if the Straw Hats never find out what he did to another version of Luffy. If that happens, then I don't think even his immortality will be enough to save him. Actually, that's probably why he sent that warning to his past self. I must admit though, I love the fact that this terrifying immortal dictator is so clearly scared of the Straw Hats. He'll never admit that to anyone including himself, but his thoughts when they first appear and some of his later actions prove that this power mad psycho is secretly terrified of our favorite pirates, or at least he's terrified of knowing how easily they can ruin his plans.

Speaking of plans, Joker's out and about killing lesser superheroes and supervillains and stealing their powers. He's almost like a totally different villain now. If it wasn't for the few goofy moments he still has I'd swear he's not the Joker at all. But he is and I've got a bad feeling about him getting his hands on so many powers.

Ivy also seems to have been struggling a bit before with her feelings towards the Straw Hats. However, Luffy seems to have gotten through to her if she's now leading an army of Harleys to help out with the small war that Savage just started. An army of Harley Quinns. Isn't that a terrifying thought.

The Justice League has also finally discovered the Royal Flush squad and learned about their escape, or rather their liberation by the Straw Hats. Then Wonder Woman goes and uses that information to make Ace and Queen distrust them even more then they did before. "Only just today!" I know it's true but if I were in their shoes and heard that I'd swear it was a lie. The others will probably think the same.

Ace and Maureen were also a really good team with Ace stunning the attackers while Maureen froze them and their ride. I know Ace is already very powerful but Maureen's no slouch either. She actually makes me think of a female Shoto Todoroki and I think she has the potential to be just as powerful as he is, if not even more so.

Lastly, my favorite moment from this chapter? Nami stealing the Mona Lisa. I know she put it back but still, great moment.

Keep up the awesome work!