Reviews for The Lucky and The Unlucky
AvidReader41 chapter 1 . 7/17/2017
First off, I think the summary reveals too much of the plot. I suggest that you reword the last half of it. Now that I've said that, I would like to give you some advice on the story itself. There are a lot of punctuation issues and awkwardly worded sentences. It was kind of hard to follow, and I found myself having difficulty keeping focus while reading. There are issues with tense. Some of your story is written in present tense, then suddenly transitions to past tense. Also, the thoughts of characters should be italicizednot just interjected into narration. It pulls the reader out of the story and can easily become confusing. I hope this helps a little.