|Reviews for Pokémon Mystery Dungeon: Gravity of Perspective|
| Rathora chapter 1 . 3/8
My grammar is so bad I swear to god
| Rathora chapter 37 . 3/8
It is done. I have now reread all I have forgotten, as well as reading what I hadn't before. Im very fond of this story, and I can hardly wait for the next chapter to come out. Keep up the good work, and until next time, this is Rathora535 signing out.
| Rath chapter 18 . 2/12
Espurr is the best character in this novel.
| Rath chapter 1 . 2/12
Hey! I'm back, and I have something to say. I'm currently on chapter 16, so I don't know if this continues throughout the story, but there's been something I've been noticing. Why does Sage keep putting his vines on other people's shoulders? I feel like I've seen the phrase "placed a vine on her shoulder" like 10 times now. Its just kind of repetivive, and I wanted to see if you were aware you were doing this.
| Rath chapter 37 . 2/8
I love this story. I didn't think anybody could ever write this good in a pokemon fanfiction. I cant wait to read it all through!
| Anonymous chapter 37 . 12/18/2020
I have enjoyed your story so far. Your writing is good, there are few grammatical mistakes, and the characters are written well.
The fact that it is in first person is not something bad. It’s refreshing. People tend to shy away from writing in first person, and reading it is thus always a treat.
I would say your biggest issue is your update schedule. I know this is not something that can be easily dictated or changed because life often gets in the way, but more frequent smaller chapters might help you retain a reader base.
It’s dissuading to some when they see “Updated:” and then a date that is months ago. Even nearly a single month can put people off.
Besides that, everything is fine.
| SparklingEspeon chapter 37 . 10/23/2020
~Review of Chapter 37~
Well, that went bad fast :rowlanxiety:
It’s been a while since I read GoP, but I think I’ve gotten enough of a grip upon the story to pick up where I left off.
I think I mentioned in the last review I left that I appreciated the more original direction the story was taking instead of being a straight game adaptation, but also that I felt the last chapter didn’t diverge as much from the original game as it could have… because I accidentally construed the canon game material with another PSMD fic. So I’ll backtrack on that opinion for now, because at a closer look you’ve changed quite a lot since the departure from Serene Village. Especially with the last five chapters or so. The most significant plot piece from the canon game is the trek up Revelation Mountain and Nuzleaf’s betrayal, and while I don’t feel like the theory I made last time is quite on-point, I don’t think you plan to play this completely straight either. At the very least, there’s the question of what Cleffa was doing tracking Team Prism around, which seems to fit into the plot at large since he had a whole conspiracy theory locked away in his office.
The highlight of the chapter by far was Definitely-Just-A-Normal-Hydreigon showing up straight out of nowhere and essentially giving Sage and company a free ride out of there. I remember him showing up in Baram Town some ten – fifteen chapters ago, and I wonder what exactly his stake is in this. As far as I know he’s concerned with the *Mist* Continent, so unless that’s changed for this story him showing up to meddle in Sage’s affairs must mean something is pretty amiss, since this story never actually visits the Mist Continent. I’m also interested to know about the other Voices of Life. If I’m remembering canon correctly – and take it with a grain of salt, because I could have sworn this was canon but I can’t seem to find a source to back it at the moment – there’s one VoL for each Continent. Hydreigon is just the one that we know about. I’d be interested to see if there are others at some point, although that may be a bit out of scope currently. For now, I’m kind of just wondering why he’s involved but seemingly hanging back like he's not allowed here – he was much more applied to the Bittercold situation, but apparently didn’t step in for the meteor/time crisis (because they didn’t take place on his continent… ?) so I wonder what makes this different.
I also noticed that krokorok seems to have slipped away in all the chaos… don’t think I didn’t notice that (:
I’ll admit up front that this is completely a personal sentiment thing, but I think that your tendency towards more flowery, verbose prose makes the fight scene read as a little clunky. I never lost the plot or anything; the overall thread of the scene made sense to me. It’s just that stuff like Sage bashing that fraxure’s head across the table didn’t really need a whole paragraph of vibrant description. My overall reasoning is that in-universe, this kind of thing happens in, what, less than five seconds? So throwing in all the extra description slows the fight down and lessens the urgency of it for me. It feels like Sage is hyperanalyzing everything, when a more realistic reaction would be to shut down every non-essential brain process and just operate on survival mode. Although I recognize that’s probably the first person quirk interfering here more than anything else.
I wish I could say I was surprised that Leah got injured as badly as she did, but unfortunately I’m not. Of the four of them, she was definitely the most inexperienced one, and that battle left her in way over her head. I’m happy that she didn’t die/end up permanently crippled, but I also hope you don’t just let her shrug it off and move on quickly. A near-death injury like that is traumatizing and almost certainly poised to have a huge effect on her, and I think you should mine that for all it’s worth, provided you have time before the Plot Guillotine of No Return drops.
Nuzleaf’s gone… considering his canon role and you specifically dropped that detail in a scene, somewhat worrying.
I feel like you’re quickly trying to further develop some kind of close friendship/romance thing between Sage and Espurr, but this far into the story anything and everything is significant, so I refuse to accept that this is just an idle plot thread that’s going nowhere – Espurr is likely going to play a very big part in the Revelation Mountain scene that appears to be coming up. Also, I caught that comment about her mother slipped in – I think it was implied in the game that she lives all by herself, so I’m wondering if she’s lying to keep Sage’s trust (in line with Betrayal Theory), or something happened with her parents, since I don’t recall them being around in the early portions of the fic. Probably the latter, tbh.
Overall, I feel like this chapter represented all three members of Team Prism finally being shoved through the irreversible step to growing up – Leah gets seriously injured attempting to rescue a teammate, normally cocky Sage is confronted with the prospect of his and others' own mortality for the first time, and Espurr is ~~brushing aside~~ acknowledging that she’s made a decision she can’t go back on by leaving Serene Village. It feels like there’s still a bit more to go before the finale, and I’m wondering if the government is poised to get involved again – since last I checked, the Expedition Society was on pretty thin ice with them and has broken quite a few laws and restrictions at this point.
As for the last note! Regarding the POV switch. I obviously cannot speak on behalf of the rest of your readership, but my feeling is that if you don’t want to continue writing in first person for the rest of the story, then switching to third isn’t that big a deal. Just put a A/N up or something when you switch and you should be good to go.
Looking forward to the next chapter, if that isn’t already obvious!
Listening to: Eclipse (Dune Version) – Pink Floyd, Hans Zimmer
| Guest chapter 37 . 7/30/2020
I ship Sage and Espurr way to hard.
| Just-A-Reader0Love chapter 2 . 7/25/2020
I did say I was going to do both chapter 1 and 2, so here we go. Lets see the start to this, sorry for taking so long with all of this. Already, chapter 2 feels much longer than chapter one. Ah and a change in point of view! From a type of third person to a first person, very nice!
It appears that we have another amnesiac, yet you make a good effort of keeping pacing different than most pmd amnesiacs, instead of jumping into the “oh no, I can’t remember”, you instead go for bodily needs of survival, water namely. Next comes the realization of a new body, you make it quick and snappy, showing confusion, followed by the name, Sage. Sage the Snivy for a snake.
Into conflict with some fast action and Sage dodging for his life, keeping up the momentum. Meeting Nuzleaf and running for your life, pretty eventful day for Sage, if I must say. Oh, humanity is considered a myth, oof for sage then. Hehehe, Nuzleaf’s dialogue cracks me up a bit. The introduction to serene village, a nice spot to end off the chapter.
You’ve done great so far with your writing. : )
Music for you :
Crush 'Em All (Weapons Bed) - Sonic Adventure 2 [OST]
Keep up the amazing work!
| Just-A-Reader0Love chapter 1 . 7/25/2020
Review for review time, lets go. Sorry for taking forever and a half for this man.
Quite the impressive author’s note you’ve got, almost as long as the prologue itself. Glad that you treasure reviews by the way, it is quite nice : P.
Oho, a prologue to all of this, let’s see here. The first paragraph is rich in description, as well as sense of foreboding, as the grass that was once charred was now restored to its healthy green. Things are super tense.
Oh! This feels like an epilogue of any other story, a grand adventure that had come to an end. It seems that the pair could only hold off the destruction for now. The male seems more optimistic of the two, while the female seems to understand the , pardon the pun, gravity of the situation. They had not fully stopped it, only made it someone else's problem down the line.
Oooh, that one liner is cheesy but it sets up quite the bit of intrigue!
Music for you!
Regular Show: The Movie - Main Theme Full Version [Regular Show The Movie Soundtrack]
I do wonder what the second chapter has in store!
| NebulaDreams chapter 6 . 7/23/2020
So, I thought I'd check this out on a whim because I needed something nice after watching depressing WWII films, and this was that nice thing I needed to move on from that. My knowledge of PSMD is limited, but taking it on its own, I'm interested to find out more about Sage and how he'll bounce off of Leah once they start adventuring more.
As tropey as amnesia is for PMD protagonists, it still gives a decent hook and it does make Sage a natural fish out of water protagonist for this setting. It doesn't stray too far off the beaten path from PMD, but it has enough diversions like the school segment and the status humans have in this world that it makes me hungry for more answers. The more I read on, the more I liked Sage and his can-do attitude, since he actively stands up for others and pushes on despite feeling uncomfortable as a Snivy. Plus, seeing him encourage Leah was pretty sweet. There were other nice moments such as the aside about the Watchog's illustrious teachings, the part about Gabite's dragon hoard (how typical), and the parts showing off Leah's status as an unwitting klepto.
While I'm enjoying this story so far, these definitely feel like earlier chapters of something that's grown beyond that. So I'll talk about some of the issues I faced.
For starters, the prose threw me off a bit. In terms of description, there's stuff that has some lovely, picturesque imagery. In terms of character perspective though, it's pretty jarring to be in Sage's head and have him use formal word choices, like in his first line 'A dull ache resounded in my head as consciousness beckoned me.', then go 'How many Pokemon has she pissed off?' in the next chapter. I know it's not the character's literal thoughts, and it might be my preference for a more conversational tone when it comes to first person POV, but it was distracting at times. Depending on whether he was an adult or a kid when he got isekai'd, the formality may or may not be more fitting for his character.
There are also times where he appears to know more about the Pokemon world than his amnesia would allow, such as him taking the concept of Pokemon ferals at face value*, and yet not knowing whether or not Pokemon even had an economy later, despite being shown the village beforehand with shops in it. If there was a bit more of a hint towards Sage's past or how his subconscious memories manifest into what he notices about the world, it'd be a bit easier to buy.
There are parts where you summarise what's happening in the chapter instead of showing it, which diminishes the importance of what's going on. Sage's first real fight with the feral Pokemon, for example, should've been an important tipping point for his character since he's starting to adjust to his powers, but then it cuts immediately to summary mode for the rest of the forest section until you get to the Goomy, which lowers the stakes and doesn't make what's going on seem significant.
This problem also plagues Nuzleaf's character at the beginning. I only have a vague idea of PSMD and how his character fits into that, so I don't know how much of this describes PSMD's plot by the letter at first. Still, we only get a good glance at his character in the first proper chapter, and then he sort of disappears from the story. At the end of the Blending In chapter, it also goes on to summarise his argument with Sage, which seems a bit rushed for what I assume will be an important character. It could've been a good opportunity to expand on his personality other than a hands-off authority figure, and to showcase more about why he takes Sage in aside from taking pity on him. It also could've shown more of their chemistry.
*On a related note, I also feel like the settings for the dungeons could use more elaboration. The presence of ferals seemed plausible enough in the Foreboding Forest, but for the Drilbur Mines, it's a bit more questionable. Is there a real mining system here and if so, are the Drilbur or rock Pokemon here really just feral animals or are they actual workers? Because the fights being told in summary mode, it doesn't really specify whether the duo is being attacked by them for invading their territory or if they're just beating up random wild Pokemon and labouring drillers as they pass by. It just seems like a battle mechanic of the mystery dungeons that's being taken for granted here.
Okay, I feel like I dwelt on the negatives a bit, so I want to reiterate that I'm enjoying this so far. I'm still not sure where this story will go in the long term, but by the end of Reality Check, it seems to have more of a goal in mind for these two characters, so that's given me more of a hook to see how these two will develop together. I hope to read more soon.
| MidnightTheMutetation chapter 3 . 7/21/2020
Ugh, this took way too long for a chapter that I’ve already read multiple times.
Hello, hello, Goat! This took a while to write up, but I’m finally back with another review! So, to get the specific stuff I noticed out of the way first:
- Holy shit, Deerling said “asshole” 0_0. It’s hilarious and disconcerting at the same time.
- Sequence of events is more or less in line with the game’s, but what makes it refreshing is Sage’s thoughts and monologuing throughout. Sure, you could say that they don’t add anything plot-wise, but it’s just *entertaining* to view his overtly analytic thoughts on his surroundings.
- Pancham is fun to read. I don’t remember him much from PSMD, but I have a feeling that you pretty much nailed his character.
- Huh, Sage meets Espurr this early? Interesting (and certainly won’t become relevant later on :shucks:).
- I already like Leah :3 (Then again, I also liked the partner in PSMD right off the bat, so take my opinion with a grain of salt, haha)
That’s about it for the specifics. Overall, I feel that this is a really solid chapter for something that’s basically recounting the game’s events. It helps that Sage’s insights, as well as everyone’s personalities, help to improve what would have surely been an otherwise dull novelisation. While it *would* have been nice to see more deviation than Espurr apparently going to venture into the woods with Sage, I personally feel that the chapter on its own works just fine.
Honestly? I don’t have much to nitpick about this. Prose is done just right, characters are well written, environment and description was lively. The only complaint I have is how Sage just immediately jumps into wanting to rescue Goomy with barely any hesitation, considering that he’s still not entirely used to his body. I thought that might’ve given him reason to at least think about it more, but then again, Espurr *is* accompanying him this time, so maybe that could be a factor to his unusual confidence.
That’s about all I have to say for this chapter! Overall, loved it, was fun to read (again) and I can’t wait to continue on. Until then though, keep up the good work! A lot of people enjoy your writing, me included :)
| SociallyDistant chapter 37 . 7/3/2020
Hi! I’ve recently come upon this story and I am a big fan of the idea. As for your request on writing perspective, I wouldn’t personally mind if you chose to write in third-person limited if that is what you are more comfortable writing in.
I sincerely hope you finish this story one day!
| Legion29 chapter 37 . 6/14/2020
Yo Sven here nice chapter i liked the action parts but what i loved was the last part god i just love when espurr and sage interact she's like a sun brightening a dark night. i'm going to stop here because if i don't i'll go one for a long time. Be seeing you later-Legion29
| Legion29 chapter 36 . 5/18/2020
Oh my god i just can't get over how much i love sage and espurr interacting they are the best part of the story to me.