Reviews for Pokémon Mystery Dungeon: Gravity of Perspective
Ralmon chapter 27 . 8/20/2017
Okay... I actually find a lot of problems here, well, problems for me.

The very first was, how it fails to follow up the ending of the previous chapter. Did I miss something? The biggest reason why is because the ending of the previous chapter is set-up like a cliffhanger. And with any cliffhanger, it requires a solid follow up. After all, you are making us wait for the outcome of the cliff. And what did this chapter follow it with? A disconnected followup, an asspull, and a very long scene of the characters bickering. None on the three follow through the expectation the cliffhanger creates and actually breaks the cliffhanger.

The disconnected followup. Well, Sage does loose consciousness, but the cliffhanger is about Sage falling into a hole. A hole that has been given so much hype. What follows after? Sage hanging from a glider. What connection does hanging from a glider have with falling into a hole? Nothing. At the least, it creates confusion, at the worst, it makes the cliffhanger pointless. It creates confusion because there is just no connection. Like What? It also ends up with lengthly exposition; an exposition on how it that happens. It also makes the cliffhanger pointless because, why create great expectations of your character falling into a hole when that event actually leads to nothing?

The Asspull. Okay. Where did the wand came from? I know it is in Leah's tail, but really? Sage even lampshades how improbable this was. They are in a very deep hole in the middle of the night. Get the problem? And don't tell me Leah just happens to have a wand with enough shots in her tail? And Sage doesn't know about that? Excuses.

And then the characters bickering for about a half of the chapter. How annoying! Two people bickering is just painful to listen too, it is also painful to read. Not only that, it always paints, at least one of the character, in a very negative light. In this case: Die Leah! Die!

Okay, the terrible chapter opening out of the way. For the other half. It starts really slow taking up a quarter of the chapter establishing the setting and the situation before it actually goes to the meat. Its okay.

And Leah is being a bitch again. Die Leah! Die!

*****

Okay, there are two main issue that come up here. One is the failure to create a follow through of the cliffhanger created in the previous chapter. It also practically waste the entire preceding chapter (chapter 26) by making whatever developments that happens there totally pointless. The second is the failure to portray a character's flaw and negative characteristics without making the character unnapealing or detestable. Overall, this is a chapter that I would put in the "Bad" category for its mishandling of the plot and characters.
A Bucket chapter 1 . 8/19/2017
Oh boy, this wil be fun. The way you structure your paragraphs seem to make the sentences flow with ease and the grammar is seemingly perfect. The hook at the end is nicely placed at the highest point of,for lack of a better word, Tension. TL;DR you done good
Guest chapter 26 . 8/12/2017
Great story with lots of twists and turns! Keep em comming
Ralmon chapter 26 . 8/11/2017
Still well written and the characters are still really appealing.

However, this is the first chapter where I find myself bored. Even with the fighting scene, I find it boring.

Most likely, I feel uninterested with what is happening here because there is actually nothing happening. They just walk from one point to another. That is really all there is.

There is the fight scene, but it feels unnecessary. But first, I should say that it drags on too long. They fight a wild Ursurang (?) and it takes a quarter of the chapter to do so. What is so important in the fight that it takes that long to tell?

But, the reason why I say that the fight is unnecessary is because of a moment that happens before it. The fight scene is really just a plot device to drop Sage into a fissure. It has no other important function. However, this could also be achieved at that event where Sage almost fall into one. I even feel that Sage falling at that moment would have been better. For one, it would not take a long time to tell, two, it would be surprising, and three, it would have been funny! In many aspects, it is many times better than the fight scene and would achieve the same thing.

As far as I can see, the only important thing that happens is that Sage fall into a crevasse and that happens at the few last paragraphs. I don't think that such an event requires a chapter this long to tell. Overall, the story contains: 3/4 of the characters just walking, and 1/4 of the plot trying to drop Sage into a hole.

*****

Overall, the biggest fail here is the plot, or the absence thereof. The plot just wants Sage to fall into a hole, and it takes a lengthly chapter to do that.
AlphaAdrianX chapter 25 . 8/7/2017
Another impressive chapter. So far, this story's building into something great and I can't wait to see it. And I wonder what Nuzleaf has? What happened to Latios? Why are pokémon turning to stone? These are the questions whose answers I'm dying to know. Anyway, always keep up the good work and continue this story. Don't abandon it, it's one of my favorite PMD fics( probably next to ScytheRider's Silver Resistance). I will wait for your next update.
porpoise lord chapter 17 . 8/4/2017
Wow, just wow. I can honestly say that out of the two years of spending time on this site and soaking each unique perspective on a story, this is the first that literally took my breath away. Your characterization of the two heroes, and your in depth descriptions of what they are going through is fantastic, and has actually improved my experience replaying the game. I really hope you keep writing on this site.
Guest chapter 25 . 8/2/2017
Great series, I would like to see more, and knowing that I can get a chapter weekly, or biweekly is a nice thing to know!
Ralmon chapter 25 . 8/1/2017
Okay. I actually like this story, but, it is so much like the PSMD game that it mostly doesn't offer a unique experience.

Still, it is really well written and and enjoyable read, and in that basis, this is a very great adaptation.
Misled Eevee chapter 1 . 7/30/2017
I love this story so much. I don't think I've read another story where I just want more at that moment at the end of every chapter. The story is hazy for me but at least I'll get to experience it all again because of you. P.S. Espurr is probably my favorite character in the story so I can't wait to see what you do with her.
Guest chapter 24 . 7/29/2017
I want more pls, better make another one in. 5 seconds, or I'm going to yell
Adamfics chapter 2 . 7/28/2017
I read the prologue and the first chapter. So far, the story seems to be alright with me. Just to clarify, I'd be disappointed if this is just a retelling of the game with little twists thrown in here and there. I haven't finished playing PSMD, so I might even postpone reading the rest of the chapters until I'm done in order to avoid spoilers.

But, for what it is, you've written this fairly well in my eyes. The prologue definitely sparks curiosity from the readers and the first chapter gives us an idea of Sage's current condition. There weren't any typos that I noticed and the prose is fine. So yeah, you've got a good thing going here, and you should continue it.
Misled Eevee chapter 18 . 7/24/2017
I was really hoping the Sage would ask Espurr to come with them. Its been too long since I've played the game to remember if she does or not.
ForbiddenWitness41 chapter 24 . 7/24/2017
I found your story only recently, but MAN does it kick but!
It wan't hard to read before, but it is easier to read now. I like that Sage made a lasting friendship with someone other than Leah. To be frank, I was worried that you would drop the plot line. Leah and Sage seem like siblings, so romance between them would feel SO wrong. The fact that Espurr are normally so stoic and this Espurr wasn't completely reserved was a heads up, but the fact that everyone else noticed the difference says how much Sage affected her. I wonder when you'll have a reunion, and if and how Sage will develop his own feeling. However that's still far far away.
Onto team Prism. Leah and Sage started of normalish, but to have them fall away for a bit made the friendship all the more real. In the way that Sage overthought his mistakes, we got a glimpse of the depths of his heart. He knows he's not perfect, but for everyone else he'll do his best. His overreaction to only Leah helping him also built up his character, by showing one of his flaws. Leah seems to be ADHD, although calmer than your normal ADHD person. Even though they may fight, which I suspect may happen again soon, and tease each other it's clear. In trouble they have each other's back. I know the destination of PSMD, but I can't wait to see the path you take to get there.
Keep up the good work,
t Witness t
Misled Eevee chapter 17 . 7/23/2017
Espurr and Sage are so cuuutttteeeeee
PMD9854 chapter 24 . 7/23/2017
ahhhh its so good I love your writing style it just makes its so I can't stop reading keep it up I can't wait for the next chapter
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