Reviews for Pokémon Mystery Dungeon: Gravity of Perspective
ShiningAura chapter 32 . 4/30/2018
Wow...what a battle! That Frenzy Plant was insane! Waaaait...if Volcanion had the ability to turn pokemon to stone likely thanks to that demon then...ohhhhh god...D:
The FieryCharmeleon chapter 10 . 4/30/2018
Well shit, why on earth did the Budew want to it's life. Yeah sure, your mothers sick, but holy shit going on a suicide mission to save is a little overboard if you ask me. Now it seems that Sage is attempting to go alone, over a stranger he meet for one minute to save the Budew... yeah makes sense XD.
flareon71 chapter 32 . 4/29/2018
Now this was quite the chapter! I have to say, the way the whole evolution scene was written was absolutely stellar. Everything from the detailed realization of sheer power to the constant adrenaline maintaining itself throughout the entire battle scene. Even the thoughts Sage had about Leah kept things very engaging while still being in-character.

Of course, Volcanion's "defeat" was definitely quite the twist, especially given his speech beforehand. Not to mention how dark dealing the final blow to oneself is...

Sage and Leah's little talk afterwards was also a really nice reminder of the current tension while still allowing for some lighthearted fluff. I have to commend how realistic they were with the trials up ahead but still optimistic in how they look out for each other. Lovely development too, I might add.

All in all, this was another amazing chapter, and you've certainly done SMD's evolution scene more than enough justice with your astounding skill in writing. Ideas and execution were done very well. Keep it up. :D
Ralmon chapter 32 . 4/29/2018
Uh!

The opening is one terrible purple prose. Like, two dozens of paragraphs and it was mostly pretentious nothings. They magically evolved... does it takes like two pages worth just to show that?

After two dozens or so paragraphs, I speed read and skip paragraphs... It is just these really tedious pretentious writing allover. Okay. Look! I'll copy paste some random paragraph:

[My breathing had already grown heavy from strain, but it could not overpower my prerogative to incapacitate him to the fullest extent I could. The image arose of Leah and I in our prior forms, broken and dying, and then dead but suddenly alive again. The thought was fuel: now I coiled the massive vines around the bastard, gripping him like a lifeline. He would have no allies to hold close, no air to breathe!]

How tedious! Repeat that a hundred times and you will just end up mentally exhausted.

I just can't take it. I skip all the way to the end to see how the chapter ends... Yuck! Some cheesy Sage-Leah drama. Since I'm hating Leah recently, I find that scene repelling. Sage is even infected by acting so melodramatic. Leah is such a bad influence. She makes Sage lame.

******

Whatever. The problems and issues with the story just keeps getting and worse and worse. The writing becomes more and more purple and tiresome. The characters become more and more uninteresting and forgettable. The dialogue becomes more and more unrealistic and cheesy. The plot becomes more and more cliche and pointless. The pacing becomes more and more slow and tedious.

I have pointed out these problems before. It is like we point out what's wrong with the story, and the author works to make it more wrong!
The FieryCharmeleon chapter 9 . 4/29/2018
Alright, so once again we are thrusted into a 3v3 with the students, but this time now the teams are one sided. Team Douche bags vs Team Smart Asses lol. Once again, I felt like the situation between Leah and Sage could've easily been handled, but no we need drama. Al well, not too much of a problem (due to me seeing it all the time in other Media). Now we just need another member who can make it a 4th member for Team Douche Bags lol.
The FieryCharmeleon chapter 8 . 4/29/2018
I really don't get why Sage to Leah when he had many opportunities to do so. Whatever, this chapter was still a pleasant chapter to read. I actually like how short the chapters are. It makes them easier to read in one go. Most long fanfictions are hard to read through, without taking a few brakes. Espurr is still a great character, showing she's probably the wisest character so far.
The FieryCharmeleon chapter 7 . 4/29/2018
This chapter was definitely more messed up (well having thee title controversy, why am I not surprised XD) and i've seen that you made a new chapter. For that, have a cookie :D. Good luck on your story ;).
The FieryCharmeleon chapter 6 . 4/28/2018
Yay, now get to see more of Leah . It seems now that will see that Sage and Leah will leave the village and go on adventure :D.
AarowTheBlacksmith chapter 31 . 4/24/2018
I'm worried that I can't quite leave a review that'll do this story justice due to its sheer length and quality, but I will do my best.

This story has surprised me for a couple of reasons; first and foremost, the creative liberties you've taken with it. While I've never read any other PSMD stories, every PMD story I have seen has never deviated as far from the games as yours has. I absolutely love that aspect of your story, and it puts it far above most others in my mind.

The second and more minor thing (which I also liked/like) was how you handled the early drama between Sage and Leah, and how you allowed a bit of a love triangle to be on the table involving Espurr. I think everyone can hazard a guess at which relationship you're pushing, but still. I thought that bit of drama in the game was kind of stupid, but I loved your twist on it. It was that part that got me hooked. You broke the mold a little there (in terms of PMD, anyway) in how you allowed the partner to look bad and provided a second romantic option. I'll admit that I disliked Leah after that, and still kind of do, but I don't mean that as criticism.

Sage has an unusually high intelligence considering he was just recently plopped into a strange world with no memories, but it suits his personality very well and I couldn't imagine him being any other way. I loved the way he behaved toward Pancham and Shelmet early on, the way I wished I could have when I played through that part of the game. He doesn't take shit from nobody. Leah can be annoying and somewhat stupid at times, which of course strikes a good balance in the duo. She pulls through in the moments they need it most, despite Sage often disproving of her rash actions. All in all, each character is well defined, even a lot of the side characters. I don't know whether it was intentional on your part or not, but I imagine Minccino as a gruff Australian man.

A smaller detail that I think is just great is the way you've depicted the society and economics of the world. Obviously the games are geared towards children, so naturally they wouldn't be going into great detail of socioeconomics, and this is another way in which you've departed from them. There's a very clear contrast between Serene Village and Lively Town. You described plainly the simple way in which the inhabitants of Serene Village live, and the limited goods they have access to. Additionally, you showed us their somewhat sneering attitude toward the pokemon of Lively Town. The Lively Town residents are shown to have access to a wider variety of creature comforts, and lead very different lives than their village counterparts. Essentially, you painted the village as Conservative and the town as Liberal by drawing parallels with real-life society. Perhaps the agender pansexual Snubbull and the mention of fidget spinners was a bit much, but it certainly got the point across.

There were a few things that I was admittedly irked by at times, though this is mainly just opinion based. The primary one was that occasionally I felt that it was overly-wordy, with a couple of words I've never seen used before. Also, while not necessarily used incorrectly, I think they were sometimes used a bit oddly. As you know, that could potentially put certain people off to the story by making it hard to approach. Then, of course, there were the typos that slipped through the cracks every now and then. These things definitely did improve as time went on, to the point that they are basically no longer a problem.

At least a few scenes in the story seemed to playout far too slowly, almost as if they were happening in slow motion. Sage would pick these scenes apart so thoroughly in his mind, explaining each millisecond instead of letting the scene speak for itself to a degree. This acted to not only stretch out these certain scenes unnecessarily long, but also kind of felt to me like you were holding audience's hand throughout it instead of just letting them interpret it. The way you vividly detail the story is great, but on those few scenes it was just a bit too much. In the later chapters though, like with the typos and complex word usage, I didn't quite experience this problem.

And finally, the most petty detail that probably no one gives the remotest shit about, was the mention of leather. This has large implications because it suggests that feral pokemon are hunted for their hide. Don't get me wrong, I don't have any problem with this. The problem I do have here is that I didn't see the merest mention of hunting anywhere in the story. If it is an accepted practice in society, it would likely be an important part of trade. Serene Village would probably rely on it, since they are disconnected from trade routes and could probably use the meat since they seem to lean so heavily on Carracosta's crops. You went out of your way to mention fidget spinners, but made none of something as major as hunting. I imagine no one will analyze this small thing as much as I have, so you needn't really change anything, I just thought I'd point it out.

Sorry for going off on such a long tangent about something as irrelevant as leather instead of the story line or the characters. To wrap it up, let me just say that I love the way that you've gone with the story, and I like your writing style. Your attention to detail is fantastic, and you should stick with it. The characters are great, and it's an achievement that you've managed to develop as many as you have with the large number that there is. You've learned from mistakes of the earlier chapters and have continued to improve as a writer. You get a thumbs up from me, brother. Keep it up.
The FieryCharmeleon chapter 4 . 4/24/2018
This chapter was fun to read. Espurr is a great character. With her personally being more of a quiet type, but still having some energy to it. I found it funny how the Gloomy went into the forest, due to bulling, even though the bullies themselves are pussies XD.
The FieryCharmeleon chapter 3 . 4/23/2018
Wow, what a shock this was! Funny story though, I was one of the people who assumed that Sage was a girl XD. The writing was well done, well most of the time. The Fennekin was by far my favorite character. She's just so funny and rebellious :D.
The FieryCharmeleon chapter 2 . 4/21/2018
This is a really good chapter. Hell It's been giving me idea for my own fanfic, PMD Legionary. The Characters so far are alright. The Snivy is currently my favorite character for him or she being interesting. I'll check chapter 3 soon
The FieryCharmeleon chapter 1 . 4/21/2018
Welp, finally manage to check out the first chapter of this fanfiction. This prologue has managed to keep to make me want more, which is how most prologues try to achieve, trying to make the viewer invested straight from the prologue. And i'd say for me, it did it's job well. Although I feel it's gonna be pretty similar to the games. Which is fine if it is, as long as the story is handled well and different enough in order to make me care. I'm wondering how good the rest will be, I've heard a lot of good in his fanfiction and I hope i'll enjoy it.
cynsh chapter 21 . 3/22/2018
Hiya Goat. I've been reading this incredibly slowly over a long period of time, and I've shied away from leaving a review because it's hard to go to in-depth into things when my reading time is so fragmented, and I want reviews to be genuinely helpful/insightful etc. But anyway, here are some thoughts I have on the story as a whole.

On your writing in general, I can't really fault it. Everything is really well written, and I haven't noticed any spelling/grammar errors that were occasionally present in earlier chapters. So good job!

I like the main characters, too. Leah resembles the SMD partner pretty closely, but it's done well. Sage is very... analytical? You go into great detail with his thoughts, which while good for showing his character, can occasionally be overdone in my opinion. Chapter 17 was where this stuck out the most to me, since the events there (Sage and Leah asking townsfolk if they should leave) are not the most climactic, and it was a bit frustrating to see mounds of introspection over this.

Possibly related to that is the story's pacing. It's... very slow. This probably wouldn't be a problem on its own, and has allowed you to give good development to plenty of characters. But it ties in with the other primary issue I have with the story: the lack of deviation from the game. There's definitely some changes, like with the extended Expedition Society, the scraps with Pancham and Shelmet, etc. But the plot is still essentially the same, and that's why I'm struggling to bring myself to read further. Even things like the Society having no food when they arrive, or asking everyone in the town if it would be a good idea for them to leave. Nothing has surprised me so far, because I already know (roughly) the story.

That's all I've got. You're a good writer, and this story deserves the attention it's gotten. But for me, it's too similar of an adaptation, and the slow pacing only adds to my frustration over that.
Trilljello chapter 31 . 3/18/2018
I'll open by saying that this is one long story. The other Super fanfictions I've read go well beyond this point at the wordcount you stand at. I think most of this can be credited to the increased length and depth of each chapter, which is most definitely a positive above a lot of stories that approach with the idea that merely slogging through the game's content with little twists tossed in is enough to make it interesting. It isn't, of course, and this story does well in regards to making me almost feel like I'm reading something else entirely separate from Pokemon Super Mystery Dungeon. Especially as of your later chapters. I look forward to reading your adaptations of the other premier scenes in Super, like the Revelation Mountain scene (for example) that is not long over the horizon.

Now, I love Sage. I love him a lot, and I don't end up liking main characters very often because they're all too commonly shameless selfinserts and fallible only in their emotions. Sage is not this - he, while certainly being no stranger to his emotions, has also been written with a depth that exhibits a lot of the complexities that a mind wiped clean might go through in his situation. He is incredibly paranoid, and seems to feel guilt whenever the thought of him putting others in danger crosses his mind; after all, he's convinced himself up until the most recent chapter that he does not belong in the Pokemon world. I look forward to his development, because I get the feeling you've got plans for him bigger than just going through the motions as the eyes the reader looks through to follow your story.

I like Leah too, both her personality and her disposition towards any agenda anyone tries to set for her; id probably have complained about her not getting the attention she requires as the partner character had you not drawn up that cute little scene in your latest chapter. I currently ship her with Sage, no questions asked.

Romantic preferences aside, Espurr needs to return soon. It's already been too long, and the rich chemistry she had with Sage has already begun to lose momentum. But considering how long it's been and the hint you dropped in your chapter East, I have a hunch she's coming to Lively Town anytime now. you already gave her plenty of depth going into Sage's departure, and then you drew attention to how Sage changed her from a solitary introvert to a character he can trust in the midst of his mental disturbances and bring the best out of. If anything would change my mind about shipping Lesage instead, it would be capitalization on this important development.

To conclude - you clearly knew what you were doing when you got into the business of writing the story of the game. Focusing on depth of character and the right balance of plot deviance is the ideal way to go about it, and you most certainly haven't failed.
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