oh god mc cant stop yapping

to be honest I would have use high speed wedgies

ngl this is more enjoyable tham the rewrite

I’d like to formally request you pick this story back up good sir/ma’am/dude. You have a wonderful premise and have made us care about characters we didn’t give a fuck about in fairy tail. Please resume :)

this has got to be one of the most cringe SI child fantasy sht i've ever read lmao you're just taking sht from so many other shows and shoving it in

kinda sad this story stopped, I didn't find anything bad about it, but you didn't like it so I'll just have to deal.

I'll def be checking the rewrite out even tho it seems you stooped updating that aswell.

but awesome fucking read fpr what's here

The start of the story... is stupid.

The Mc is a bonafide retard with a plot armor thicker than Natsu and Naruto put together.

I am not going to say it is a bad story. I haven't read enough to properly judge it. But after reading the first chapter I KNOW that you should turn your brain off before you start reading because this story is an offense to logic and common sense.

Firstly, the MC is dropped into Fairy Tail with magic. He doesn't spend even 10 minutes practicing his magic before a monster shows up and the MC is like: Should I flee or fight?

Of course, our moron of an MC decides to fight a monster that is twice as big as him and ripped as hell. A monster that could plaster him all over the ground with a single serious punch.

He only survives due to the armor plot. As a reader, I can not in good conscience see any other way for this MC to survive this encounter. It is only because the author is hand-holding his MC to a baffling degree.

After training his magic for 10 minutes, he can beat a monster that beat S-rank wizard from the Phantom Lord guild. Like... Naruto had a massive plot armor but holy shit, this is just ridiculous in comparison.

At least give the MC a week of practice before throwing him into a fight with a monster that can beat S-rank wizards, author. I can't even take this story seriously because, at that point, it became a dumb crack fic.

The MC is also one of those self-sacrificing noble idiots who don't think of themselves first. Nope. His first thought is: I will do everything I can for the good of the people!

I think this is just flat-out horrible writing. Why? Because the MC has no reason to be this way. A normal human will be selfish. Even noble humans will be selfish to some degree. They would first want to create a comfortable environment for themselves before helping others. That's just common sense. That's realistic.

But here, the author is treating his readers like mushrooms, feeding them shit. The MC doesn't even have a home and he already has a grand goal like helping everyone else. It's utterly unrealistic and shows both the author and the MC are treating this second chance of MC as if it was just a game. As if it didn't matter at all. As if there are no consequences at all. It not only cheapens the story, but it also makes both the MC and the author come out as witless juvenile morons.

It's both pathetic and extremely saddening, tbh.

The author probably thinks his MC is just 'Shoooo COOOOOOOOL!' But... sigh. What more to say?

Oh, yeah. The MC is like a child. All it takes for him to get an angry outburst is for someone to mock his magic. It's even worse because the MC clearly doesn't care for common sense. I mean, would you scream at somebody who can squash you like a bug, one of the ten strongest wizards in the country, and is not known for being a friendly person?

This MC did. Instead of keeping a calm mind and realizing, 'Oh, shit, I better not piss off this dude who can kill me with a snap of his fingers', he threw a childish tantrum in his face. Realistically? Once again, the only reason the MC is not dead yet is the author.

Remember, the MC has at most 10 minutes of training with his magic under his belt. And he is ALREADY getting arrogant af. He can't control his emotions. He is one pathetic rage monkey. As a reader, I feel it hard wanting to continue. I feel as if the author is DESPERATELY trying to make me drop this steaming hot shit of a story. As if he did everything in his power to give the MC every little frustrating personality trait he could to make him unlikable.

At this point, I am reading only because it is OC x Juvia pairing and I want to see how the author will do it.

The first chapter was disappointing. It showed me that this is just a childish wank fic with no sense whatsoever.

But from the grammatical side of things, it is not badly written. I feel I must be fair and give that to the author.

Now, if only he actually started to use that thing in between his ears while writing, the story would probably get a little bit better.

Alas, if you are a reader and you do turn your brain off while reading this crap, you will probably even enjoy it. The MC is trying hard to act cool. He is insta powerful. He instantly fights strong monsters. He instantly joins a powerful guild. He doesn't THINK before doing anything.

It has all the markings of a shallow story with the Japanese-style OP protag that's so popular these days.

So, yeah, if you don't involve logic and common sense, it could be an enjoyable read.

Just take it as if it was a crack fic. That's all I can say.

Damn right when it's getting good it's dropped

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so cliche... making the mc have a near death experience.. after all the training and what not he is still a pansie... I mean cmon... is it too much to ask to have a smart si... what use is superspeed if he is just going for surface bodyshots... use the speed and go for the eyes , ears, nose, balls, use vibration , use a weapon and start putting holes and cutting up limbs... evade and go for the kill straight on from the get go.. use the super perception and sight.. cmon..

again? cmon

I am confused as to what your character is? is he strong or weak, is he smart or dumb cause honestly it's a confused mess.

He hasn't had those powers for even a day, why is he bugging out at Jose Porla about something so harmless? Over the top oc is fine, but too much is too much.

Remember my last comment? Fuck that. I was under the idea that the protagonist was 27 on his previous live, I didn't know he was a high-schooler, the reaction made much more sense know. This fight alone gave the fic one more point, this is getting 8/10 bro.

You have a unique gift of destroying any sort of badassery your own protagonist produces, it is amazing, one random joke or phrase in the middle of the fight can ruin the mood so much. When he was about to fight the mad God Slayer, he was finally showing protagonist level of hype, then you had to ruin it with a Jojo reference and have your protagonist pull a retard and stay still. He can't take 3 steps forward without either stuttering, panicking, going into a rage, or freezing like an idiot. What exactly is the gimmick? You try so hard to make him realistic but it doesn't add up, you can't have a realistic character if you gonna pull stuff like, him knowing extreme medical knowledge out of his ass to heal himself, but can't remembering basic information from an anime,or him going berserk over a fucking hat,? What is he, luffy?, what exactly has he done with his knowledge, absolutely nothing, he even consider not helping Lluvia, wasn't the whole point of his second chance, to safe lives. BUT then you can't pull a fantasy character if you going to have him react like a normal person would, like peeing himself everytime he makes eye contact with half of the cast, or being so inept when it come to every kind of social interaction.
Also my major issue is that he has knowledge of everyones personality or at least more than the basics, yet he does not act accordingly, most of his interaction with the cast are the same interaction someone with no knowledge of the series would do. The fights are choreography are great tho, they do feel like an anime fight. Specially your description of the events and your way of writing scenarion and backgrounds is really good. You also have great pacing. I completely support your decision on the time skip, yet I would have liked to see some more character development of the protagonist. You have made Lluvia one of my favorite characters. Overall so far this story is a 6 or 7 out of 10, one being unreadable, five being a fine story, ten being light novel level of writing or more.