Reviews for Rent-A-Vampire
ChristyWIX chapter 2 . 5/29/2018
I love the way you've captured the dogs. Excuse me, wolves. Slobbering, wet nosed, horny messes of yuck. I never understood the fascination with the wolves in THE books. Certainly they came in handy in Breaking Dawn but, they were most definitely not my thing.
ChristyWIX chapter 1 . 5/29/2018
Interesting. Intrigued.
betty.p.dixon.3 chapter 3 . 5/28/2018
I am cracking up! The double entendres are so funny and well placed! Love this story already.
PBJilly chapter 32 . 5/2/2018
Now this one I loved even more! What a unique story. There was humor in this, but also lots of serious situations. All of the characters were very entertaining. I loved how you had a bookstore be the main setting. Really, this is my favorite of all your stories I have read! Great work.
Renee Aubin chapter 20 . 4/26/2018
Oh, so it was Angela that was climbing all over Edward for biting Bella. He’s really annoyed with her. I can’t decide whether he believes she knows how to manage her friend’s migraines and is failing to help, or he just thinks it would be more “proper” for a female friend to assist Bella in the bathroom.

I kind of had to chuckle – you had to make some deft word choices to describe dealing with her period. Writers so often have to find ways to describe sex that are acceptable to them, but hardly anybody deals with the realities of menstrual cycles. Good for you.

Hmm, good counterpoint, she doesn’t believe he doesn’t mind her sweaty sheets, and he doesn’t believe she doesn’t mind his cold skin. Hopefully now they’re listening to each other.

Nice use of the dancing-on-his-feet theme. ‘If only my father could have seen me.’

Smile: ‘If I had to choose a single scent to fill my nostrils for the rest of my life, perhaps it wouldn't be old books.’
But they’ll always be in second place.

So Angela understood the real situation between Mike and Bella; at least Mike admits now that he just didn’t want to.
It’s kind of creepy the way all of Bella’s friends keep talking behind her back. Although, to be fair, they don’t get very far trying to talk TO her. At least she seems to be opening the door to Angela.

It IS kind of funny that Mike (and probably most humans) know more about the dietary options for vampires than Bella does.
Naomi M chapter 32 . 4/21/2018
Weird and different story from the ones I've read but it was good though
Renee Aubin chapter 19 . 4/16/2018
Wow the balance of power in this relationship seems to be shifting, or at least wobbling:
‘Lost in his own thoughts, he was almost painfully beautiful to look at. Lost in mine, I yearned for him to touch me, to take off my pants, to bite my thigh and suck my blood.’

Oh my, his simple crawl across the floor ending with
‘kneeled in front of me, taking the empty glass from my hand and placing it on the coffee table’
is so sexy!

And a moment later: ‘As his tongue slipped inside my mouth, his hands slid under my bottom, pulling me off the couch.’
This boy’s got game.

An interesting thought: "I wasn't sure if you would want to do this in your father's house.”
I wonder if Bella would really have objected. I think she’s too busy “craving” to worry about it.

This has creepy throwbacks to that scene in canon, you know which one: “The house is just across the yard behind you. We haven't come far."

Damn it! "Teeth. Can't risk it."
But at least, unlike canon Edward, he comes up with alternatives.

Duh, I’m glad your Bella gets this:
‘… it did cross my mind that something so cold and so very hard might have the potential to break me in two just as Edward feared…’
In two or in smithereens. At least she has SOME respect for Edward’s worries.

Wow, quite a picture: ‘Edward stood there, his jeans around his thighs, his chest heaving and his eyes wide open. He slowly unfurled his fists and shards of wood fell from his fingers like confetti.’

So this Edward even has real evidence of how things can go wrong, not just fears:
"I know what happened to Mrs C, Bella, and I don't want that outcome for you."
Frustrating that he didn't answer her question about what outcome he did want.

Laughed out loud after her Snow White moment:
"For someone who professes to not believe in fairy stories, you go out of your way to re-enact them."

See that’s what I meant about maybe Edward wasn’t such a great hunter – he does seem to damage a lot of clothes. But then I guess they’re a great deal more fragile than his skin. OK, I’ll concede that one.

An intriguing end! So Alice turned up, presumably after seeing something alarming. I like this line:
"The only person that can send me away is her."
Renee Aubin chapter 18 . 4/4/2018
Oh boy what a difficult task, cleaning out Charlie’s house. Maybe more so because it had sat unused for so long. Especially touching was finding a lock of Bella’s own “long baby hair”.

I enjoyed the deputies' reaction to Edward. I bet early in the new era they pretty much shot on sight.

Wow. Charlie’s ‘“name comes up at least once whenever we're on the riverbank," Mark said.’ After 7 years! That makes him practically legendary.

Nice touch that the deputy with a teenage son looking for a place to live is female.

Aww: "It's nice to be able to finally do something to help you, Bella," Steve said. "We tried, all those years ago…"
Also gives an idea how unreachable she was then.

‘Realising I'd had an erotic dream while laying on top of the object of my desire…’ At least he’s been promoted to the official “object of her desire”.
But he still has to ask whether she finally believes him (about being a vampire, presumably).

The wolf phases back into naked Jacob. Bella’s reaction made me laugh:
‘Some things really can't be unseen. "Would you please put it away."’
Also ‘the standard rent-a-wolf uniform’.

Good comment re Jacob’s snotty dialog: "What happened to all that social tolerance? …supernatural beings get a free pass?"

Nice: ‘"He didn't pick me," I said. "I picked him." And as soon as I'd said it, I realised how true it was, if not from the moment I signed the contract then every day since.’

Remarkable that the usually all-knowing mind reader is still in the dark about the basics of her agreement with Alice.
Mechcat chapter 16 . 4/3/2018
I'm really liking this fic. And that's before I got to this chapter comparing them to cats! Something of which I obviously approve. Thanks so much!
Mechcat
Elise de Sallier chapter 32 . 4/3/2018
This was a truly wonderful and inventive story. Thank you so much for writing and sharing it with us. :)
Elise de Sallier chapter 26 . 4/2/2018
This is wonderful! Thanks for dreaming it up. :)
Elise de Sallier chapter 23 . 4/2/2018
Poor Edward...keeping his distance. He seems quite insecure, and he doesn't have his family's support. :(
mommymac0508 chapter 32 . 4/2/2018
I loved it thank you
Elise de Sallier chapter 18 . 4/2/2018
Still loving this story. Sorry I got a bit slack on the reviews.
Elise de Sallier chapter 13 . 4/2/2018
:)
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