|Reviews for In the Eleventh Hour|
| BlubFishBlub chapter 48 . 3m
Stop the sad please
| TheFreelancerSeal chapter 47 . 9/30
Sorry for the delay in reviewing. Between some long days at work, then me ending up with whatever bug is going around either my office or my house, well, I just didn't get around to it. But I'm making up for it now.
First off, on an overview, I really liked how this chapter had scenes that really paired off each other, with both Xander and Hinoka and Ryoma and Camilla growing a bit closer to the other, although, I'll elaborate more on that later. I just enjoyed kind of the mirror images we get to see, and you might just get me to convert to Ryoma/Camilla instead. Well, maybe not, seeing as I like her and Takumi together too much, but props for making me consider it.
I take it Effie was one of the casualties then, seeing as how Xander considers it's just Arthur now.
I thought it was an interesting show of how both Xander and Hinoka express their grief and sorrow. Both of them hide behind public faces, at least it appears that way. I really doubt Hinoka would bawl her eyes out in front of anyone. So, she tends to hide behind a face that's really more vinegar than anything else, not to say the stubborn, foul-mouthed bit isn't her real personality, but I'm saying she'd definitely save the tears for behind closed doors. Xander definitely would. But as they both explore the loss of Corrin, I like that they're growing closer to each other. I keep hoping for a kiss at some point, much like I did with Laslow and Peri, but now, I'm a bit more cautious in my hopes. Still, I like the seeds that have been planted, and it looks like they're starting to grow. That admission that neither one wants to fight the other really says a lot. I hope they don't have to.
Ryoma and Camilla's moment was also quite good. It really highlights what she must have gone through to think that he has some ulterior motive, coming to see her, and I imagine she's had quite a few who just wanted the simpler option. After all, she's been treated like an object for her childhood, so that's an outlook that won't go away. I had to smile a bit as she found tears in her eyes, just at how sweet and how sincere Ryoma's offer of friendship. As strong a woman as Camilla is, I can believe the little things like that would chip that armor of hers. And then the bomb drops. I also kind of wish the game had given us a Ryoma/Scarlet pairing because it makes so much sense. But in any case, finding out that Camilla was the one who killed her, well that certainly throws a wrench into the works. I can't wait to see how that little bit turns out later. And I have to say, talk about being saved by the bell when Xander shows up. Of course, it's going to come out sooner than later.
And now, we end on a note that's not quite a cliffhanger but definitely a good lead-in to the next chapter. I wonder what Azura is going to have to say about all this. I mean I know what she'll say, but I wonder how she'll say it, seeing the measures Anankos took to keep Valla and by extension himself a secret.
This story is always worth the wait. I hope my review was too.
| Guest chapter 47 . 9/25
Good chapter, sets up for the next arc.
| BlubFishBlub chapter 47 . 9/24
Well I'm glad this time I started crying before reading the chapter so I didn't do it after.
| Guest chapter 44 . 9/18
Medical practitioner here, normally death by stomach or gut wounds are very slow. Don't think Corrin would have died fast enough from one before Elise could heal her. Probably the wound should be to the throat or heart. Currently rationalizing it as a magical weapon like a Levin sword to cause instant death.
| Agent of Chaos 112 chapter 46 . 9/18
| Len chapter 46 . 9/17
Good chapter. The characters conveyed their emotions well in both dialogue and in their actions. The heavy feeling of Corrin's death is present - though perhaps on a meta level wasted since Corrin won't be permanently dead.
There's a typo in the final scene: "Many years later, no one was quite sure how it had happened."
Don't think it was intended to be "years".
Also the part with Sakura's koto was kinda weird. Kotos are big instruments, and it is not something that I imagined the Hoshidan party (who are pressed for speed) would carry with them, even in a supply caravan. Anyway, these are minor quibbles and there's probably and explanation somewhere.
| LadySmugleaf chapter 46 . 9/17
Oh Damn. This chapter made me cry. As a writer, I commend you for invoking such a reaction.
| TheFreelancerSeal chapter 46 . 9/16
If the past arc gave us hope for light up until the end, this current arc seems to pull us deeper and deeper into darkness. Whether that's intended or not, I actually think it's something that does come out in the writing. Let's face it, these first couple of chapters really drive home the sorrow, the grief and the loss. For me, I find it a bit like Fates itself, with Birthright's emphasis on light and Conquest's emphasis on darkness. But that may be just my own ramblings.
First off, on a broad sense, I'm rather relieved to see the names of some of the survivors, like Jakob, Laslow, Selena, Odin, Peri, Beruka and Niles. Yeah, their continued survival is more or less in doubt at this point, well for me, but the fact that they're all still alive for the time being is a relief, albeit a small one in the grand scheme of things. The way you described him, Jakob sounds more like death warmed over.
There's so much to take in with this one, so many little moments. Elise and Sakura's song together was beautiful but so sad. They do have a very sweet friendship in game, and it's here as well, but muted under the heartbreaking circumstances they find themselves in. Ryoma helping Camilla with her hair was a touching gesture. While I make no secret that I pair her with Takumi personally, I have to say I definitely think there is a seed being planted between them. I also rather liked the touch of Beruka's inner thoughts, about men around Camilla having an angle. I can definitely see that being true, but the fact that she thinks about it really says volumes. As messed up as both of them are, I think Beruka is probably the closest thing to a friend Camilla has and vice versa. They do have much in common, both essentially tools for another. But I definitely see chemistry between Ryoma and the Nohrian princess. I think their banter was also well written and natural, and I liked the touch at the end of it, where she mentions she sees less of her mother's face. That little bit for me still says much about how her life has been spent in her mother's shadow.
Taukmi and Leo's bit was expected under the circumstances. Yeah, in game, their supports also pretty much show they're both as sour as can be and have the same disposition. Of course, anger due to the loss permeates their meeting, and that's to be expected, the way they'd probably process the loss. Some people do lash out at others when they really want to lash out at something, anything, much as Xander is doing, but more on that later. I do think those two are well written, and we do get a sense of a begrudging friendship starting.
And then there's Xander himself. His loss takes on a much different dimension than anyone else's, even Camilla's because he'd fallen for Corrin, then buried himself in his duties in the hopes of shaking those feelings. Yeah, he clearly failed, but that knowledge really adds a new facet to the situation. Hinoka's appearance and their duel does help give him an outlet for everything, grief, rage the entire gamut.
And finally, the end. This is when it really hits home, to see Corrin lying in a coffin. That's when it finally registers, the finality of it all. I know that's an image that never goes away, and it sadly often becomes the only image you have when you remember the person. Your descriptions of their collective grief really captures it all perfectly, too perfectly in fact, and I mean that as a compliment to the quality of your writing. It's nice to see them reaching out to each other, each one comforting the other, but it's so sad that it took Corrin's death for it to happen. That's something with a lot more bite than how Fates ended, not to criticize the game too much.
I was going to mention this in my last review, but it only came to mind after I posted it. I wonder if Corrin will become Anankos's new vessel. Reason I wonder that is because Anankos does accomplish his goals by possessing others, and those others are typically dead, like Garon and Takumi. Plus, I'd say he knows Corrin is or was destined to defeat him, given the Yato came to her. What better way to ensure that doesn't happen than to not just kill her but turn her into one of his pawns, much like he did with Mikoto, Arete, and Sumeragi. Whether or not that turns out to be true or not, we'll just see, but it's just a theory that came to mind.
To quote another rather long-winded individual, verily, this vichyssoise of verbiage veers most verbose. So I will simply say what I've always said, but something that is very much deserved.
| confuzzledpanda chapter 46 . 9/16
I loved this so freaking much. It hurt but in a good way. Like the wounds are on the road to healing. The Ryoma and Camilla moment was endlessly sweet and I reread that part multiple times. I also love the imagery of the last scene where they were all united in their grief. I’m excited to see what you do next :)
| BlubFishBlub chapter 46 . 9/16
I didn't think that you could write something worse than last chapter. I am in tears now. Good job.
| TheFreelancerSeal chapter 45 . 9/15
Well, I'm really not sure what I can say about this that doesn't sound repetitive. We translate right into the news being received by Hoshido, and at first, it surprised me that they think it's a trap. Having said that, given the state between Hoshido and Nohr, it's not that surprising at all. Plus, after hearing that their sister is dead, I can imagine anyone would wish and hope for anything to make untrue, even a trap set by an enemy kingdom. This really flows well from the end of Act I, although I admit, when I first got the alert, I was hoping to find out who among the Nohrians is currently not dead. But oh well, I can wait on that.
I really liked how you wrote the beginning, the descriptions of how Hoshido changes in the autumn. It really paints a beautiful picture. If not for the circumstances, I'd also say it seems Hinoka is still a bit enamored with Xander, given her earlier train of thought. Of course, the tragic events overshadow it, but still, it did make me smile and think, "you like him, don't you?" at least until she read the letter.
Not sure what else I can say is I can't wait for the next chapter. You're doing an excellent job of leaving me wanting more of this story. If I weren't as tired as I am, I'd be bouncing in my chair with anticipation.
| Guest chapter 45 . 9/14
Should be interesting to see what the Hoshidans do after this.
| Guest chapter 45 . 9/13
Man, everytime I see that this has been updated recently, my day gets a fair bit better. Thank you for this amazing story.
| IlluminatiAnimeLover789 chapter 44 . 9/12
Wow. I never expected Corrin to die. The main character, (not of this story particularly,) of the fates storyline! Interesting. I'm excited to see how this'll turn out.