|Reviews for The Spider|
| Outlook42 chapter 37 . 1h
Thanks for the new chapters I’m enjoying the story
| Guest chapter 38 . 8h
Reasons you shouldn't have a harem in this story:
1. It doesn't fit with the female's hero persona. Not many female in the Marvel universe strike at a "ready to share" type
2. Love is what drive the hero forward, not lust. That's all a harem is: lust. All the girls fell in love with the same guy, and the guy instead of sort it out decided to bang all of them. Readers get to jealous with the guy and have fantasies of being the guy.
3. It affects the plot a lot, makes it more complicated. Instead of having to save one, main must save 4 - 5 at once. You must think of diffrients ways to develop diffirent characters, now that they all have the same guy as their loves interest.
4. It makes your main char looks ridiculous in a world where a harem is nearly non-exist
| Brawler883 chapter 25 . 4/19
I think that not having the harem was a serious missed opportunity. Like you practically set it up already and it would have fit pretty well conaidering the amount of girls constantly crawling all over him. Thats pretty much my only complaint about this entire story. Other than the threesome being a bit too short and not with enough detail. Always have a LOT of detail.
| I'm Da Bomb chapter 38 . 4/19
NO HAREM PLEASE!
| Guest chapter 38 . 4/18
Since this has become a debate thread, I'll throw in my two cents.
I'm not a fan of the whole 'chosen one' thing with the web and Thanos. I think that the delivery was to prophecy like which is a plot device that I'm not a fan of.
Regarding the none-MCU chapters, they really aren't filler. only chapters 19 and 20 actually involved any of the MCU movies. I think that Spider-man should follow his own story most of the time. We will probably see the Green Goblin story arc as soon as he goes back to his dimension rather than the winter soldier arc. I expect that the Iron Man 3 events happen while he is away so he won't be able to help there.
Honestly, I'm hoping for a divergence from cannon at this point. Winter Soldier makes less sense if they already know about Hydra. Also, Spider-man can overpower the winter soldier too easily. If anything, I expect that Hydra will have help to even the odds. (maybe Doom?)
The next part that needs to change is Ultron. There is no reason for him to allow for the creation of Ultron. The only way I can see this happen is if he doesn't realize in time to stop them. Or Tony ignores his warnings. Either way, there is almost no way to justify letting Ultorn happen when he knows the damage it would cause.
Same issue for Civil War. It would be super easy to prevent with the right information and there are no upsides to letting it happen. I think that the whole civil war story needs a different catalyst. Maybe make Spider-man be the point of contention. (protecting Black Cat from arrest?)
This is the downside of inserting a character with future knowledge. you break the plot and then you need to figure out the motivations for major events to still happen. This story actually did a great job with the first Avengers movie arc since Spider-man did not have the opportunity to save Coulson or change much of the story. At the same time, the little that was changed was properly acknowledged. (Noting how Tony was more angry at Thor than he was in cannon.)
I'm looking forward to seeing this story improve and unfold. And yeah... it needs a beta.
| HurricaneShippu chapter 38 . 4/18
I've enjoyed reading this story, but I feel like you've gotten bogged down in the details basically since starting, around chapter 20, and not finishing your replacement for The Winter Soldier. The story feels like it's in limbo, on hold while all this random stuff is happening. The fic kinda feels bloated on filler rather than the meaty goodness of the main storyline.
You're doing this weird thing with Peter, sending him to another dimension to heal from Felicia's abandonment but now that he seemingly has, for the most part, you're giving him multiple new powers that I don't think he needs. I had hoped it'd be a two chapter interlude but it's stretched into 6 with seemingly no end in sight. Who knows how long it's gonna take for him to learn the magic and sort out whatever comes out of the woodworks...
Also, you're doing this frustrating thing with Sue, where I'm pretty sure she's interested in Peter but she can't (won't) take him seriously because of his age and it's almost too realistic. Which bravo, since almost every bloke ever has experienced this. I kinda wanna see a whole bunch of hookups on Peter's side. Especially now that he thinks the love of his life has left him. He's a teenager with a high sex drive, from what you've shown, I'd expect him to find comfort in being physical with women. Well, a lot more than just Jean since she's a touchstone to his closeness with Felicia. Especially after she assured him she'd never leave and she has... Wrong kind of psychic I guess. The timeline you've got going on may be right, with giving him the 'proper' amount of time to get over Felicia's departure enough to start up again but because the pacing has dropped it feels like it's been forever since she left like six months ago or something, even though I think it might be two or three.
At this point I'm just anxious for Peter to get back to his earth, I think it's 616 now that Strange has said it's the centre but it's mostly 199999... but then you've got a mash up of a few ultimate universe stories... and it's just weird. I hope at some point Reed (read:you... ...) gives this Earth a designation. Just to remove ambiguity, perhaps 969 since Peter is such a slayer. I mean 10", was that really a necessary detail... lol.
Once he's back I wanna see him upgrade his gear. Some of the coolest parts of this story are what you've got him doing on the scientific side of things not Iron-Man level but some cool tricks like camouflage now that you've given him the unstable molecules for stealth or maybe moderate invisibility. I would like to eventually see him start up Parker Industries also, just have his own independence and everything. I'd prefer you not give Peter every imaginable power under the sun. It just feels like powering him up just for the sake of it. Take Magneto's powers for instance the only time he's used them was in the negative zone, and this whole arc feels like filler. And the only reason he's used the bone claws really is because he had no web shooters. Now that he's learning magic it seems like he didn't even need Logan's blood to heal, just look at Dr Strange. Too many overlapping things that are making you lose focus on making Peter his own badass rather than a copycat warrior. It's always gonna be better for you to find solutions to Peter's problems with his own skill set rather than just giving him new ones every few chapters. Drew, Magneto, Logan, Magic, and a set up for Franklin all in addition to Peter's already kickass powers and his own tech. Seems like you're not utilising everything as you should be is all. The list is growing crazy long.
One thing I will say is that you should really look into getting a beta. There a a number of mistakes that find their way into your chapters. You seem to have some moderate difficultly with homonyms. There are too many spelling mistakes but since you're cranking out the words at such speed that it's forgivable but if you used a good word processor like Grammarly you probable would eliminate a lot of your mistakes before they ever hit the second draft. Even if you get someone to retroactively read through your stuff to just spell correct and change certain words that sound similar to the ones you actually mean it would greatly improve the polish on this story. I mean, c'mon man, you kept spelling sorcerer as soccer. It just breaks immersion.
Anyway, great stuff, best Spider-Man story I've read. And it's a SI as well, I normally stay away from those... but you've put that to the minimum. Less is more and all that. Keep it up.
| Procaticjolt chapter 38 . 4/18
Your story is awesome can't wait for venom to make his debut and get all of si's power plus more after all he is the best villian of all time in Spiderman
| Galeiam chapter 37 . 4/18
Tantric/Chaos is a go!
| hn556 chapter 38 . 4/18
I have to say this is my favourite book I've ever read and that's saying somthing, considering the amount Ive read. Just thought I'd review to show my love for this book.
| Brawler883 chapter 11 . 4/17
Literally 65 chapters of percy jackson and the game and no proper sex and then here we are, chapter 11 XD.
| ricsi0309 chapter 38 . 4/17
Man, came to read the reviews out of boredom and what a goldmine.
Some suggested to only give peter only temporal power ups, and no, thats just... No. Look at fairy tail and youll know what im saying.
Others complain that hes not going to use the power at its full potential, but PIS shall be PIS
Some other complained that he was gonna use it at all, which i understand, but said peapole failed to give a reason why, and if a superpower that can defeat all the bad guys hes having but he doesent use it just cuz then..., well, peapole wont be happy
Some othersvoiced theire disdain for him being still delusional for felicia, and how this version of her should have told him to forget her, especialy as peter here whit someone else is happy, but those shall be ignored.
Him viewing reality as fiction is stupid, plain out. It goes against human nature
The fact that power currupts him so badly is ALSO stupid, because it means hes wants to do the "bad stuff" but cant.
The fact that you know you spelled it wrong but didnt do amything about it though, thats just bad. get a beta reader if you dont want to spellcheck yourself
Honestly, i came here because of the percy jackson, which was unfortunatly discontinued in all but name,)(and that too, went deep as far as cliches go) and now your only fics are about.:
percy facing pepole who he can oneshot while he has drama over her girlfriend wanting him to work despite having money for life via foreknowlege of companies and being as adept at potio s as rey is at using the force. And of course his canon disanilities were thrown out of the window
Another one about an adult in a twelve years old body flirting with teens, killing animals with human level sentience and having mastered a oneshot power before he was even chuunin and having mastered the flying thunder god that the hokage gave him for... Finding a cape. That was on minatos body. That the hokage personaly took back to the village...
And of course this one, a spider man who can do anything with science expet find a way to get that pesky radiation out of hos body, and doesent take a chance to be stronger and happier by using his rsources and getting over his ex who just left him like any human would.
If you find the horrid flaming too much then comment in a pm please.
| justafan chapter 37 . 4/17
better not change his name like that harry potter spiderman seriously im fine with him having magic but it was like harry just took over completely no peter left as for the chapter good more POWER is always good now just need super speed like quicksilver from days of future past was badass.
| Scoolio chapter 38 . 4/17
Hehehehe. Thanks for the clarification, for some reason a weight was lifted off of my shoulders. Though I don’t know why... weird. Anyhow I adore the story, and your work. Can’t wait to read the next one!
| WilliamAqua chapter 38 . 4/17
I am loving the Spider at the moment, but I am wondering if Symbiotes will play a part in this story soon?
| aerium chapter 1 . 4/17
This has been absolutely perfect in every way so far!