|Reviews for Consumption|
| Guest chapter 1 . 11/16
Dude, give a fucking info dump warning like most authors would. I'd totally skip what I could read from the wiki.
| Bravo13 chapter 5 . 10/29
Great story looking forward to seeing where it goes :)
| Dexter chapter 1 . 9/22
liked it, kept it in line with lore. You right about fire magic, it spread over and over without end. Much worse than nuke. Sorry for bad grammar, English not first language.
| Axcel chapter 1 . 9/22
This Harry sounds phenomenally stupid. And Fiendfyre has NOTHING on nukes. Humans only fight when they feel it is necessary for their well-being or survival or that of their family and friends. Religion and politics and other things can be used as motivation to be recruited and such, but it is rarely, very rarely, enough to motivate fighting. Even the crusades were about opening trade routes that wars in the Middle East between factions there had closed. Or were fought in support of Christian-sympathizing Muslim governments. Movies and games have made it into some sort of religious war because recruitment was done through the Church; the only wide-spread organization available at that time. As an example.
Anyway, the UNSC is not to blame anyway. The nuke-happy mass-murdering insurrectionists are. Besides that, the Innies were always too stupid to make their demands of the UEG instead of the UNSC. Since, y'know, the UEG is the only entity with the authority to even consider giving them what they demand in the first place. They are also fascists extremists. I'm not making it up, look at the lore. They are LITERALLY the fascists extremist army members who survived the Rainforest Wars and escaped. Let's not forget the fact they claim to be fighting for the Outer Colonies' independence (they're not, as I mentioned they are a conquering fascists army in CANON). The biggest problem with that is that the colonies, especially Outer Colonies, are self-governed. In other-words, aside from a few annual taxes and regulations everyone in the UEG abides by, THEY ARE ALREADY INDEPENDENT. While I'm at it I think I'll go ahead and point out that their complaints about not having a vote in humanity's government is also bullshit. The Outer Colonies COMBINED have a population high enough to have one vote. So, they are given that one, combined vote. If they don't like it then either move somewhere with a higher population or launch a immigration campaign to bring new people into the colony. Otherwise it is completely fair to the Inner Colonies, all of whom did exactly that and have benefited massively from it. The Outer Colonists want what the Inner Colonies have but are COMPLETELY unwilling to put in the work the Inners did to earn it.
| DarthScooby chapter 1 . 9/14
Read your comment before reading this chapter. Are you a dumbass? I've read plenty of stories (god thinking of any R.R. Novel) that have had massive lore dumps. God the stories behind the Lord of The Rings novels are just huge lore dumps, and those things sell like hot cakes. Of course timelines are up too debate on their effectiveness, but they serve a purpose. Only a jackass like you would instantly equate timeline to unreflected exposition. You really must be a prick. I even read your profile, god could you be any more arrogant? Your attempt at a story was pathetic, at least this dipshit writing this is trying. How many Harry Potter x Halo stories do you think are being written? Next time you have shit to say, be constructive or shut the fuck up.
Sorry author for ranting like that. I like to read comments and the chapters in tandem. It pisses me off when people just say shit for no good reason. Honestly, these dumb fucks don't care about the story. They just feel so pathetic that they need to bring others down to their level. I think that you've got an interesting idea and I hope you continue to build upon it. Great stories start off as plot bunnies. Better wording and advanced grammar will come along as you write more. Don't let naive little shits like that guy get to you. My opinion is that unless you write a story (and not abandon it like a bitch) than you're criticism are only valid if constructive.
| eragon13579 chapter 5 . 9/14
Another great chapter!
| eragon13579 chapter 3 . 9/14
Great chapter! Keep up the great work!
| eragon13579 chapter 2 . 9/14
Another great chapter, I love the personality you have built for harry. It has a good mix of calm, composed experience, and bitter loneliness, and cynicism. Keep up the great work!
| eragon13579 chapter 1 . 9/14
Great story so far, love the idea of an immortal harry in the halo universe! Keep up the great work!
| tempetepapillon chapter 1 . 9/10
gosh I hate pointless unreflected exposition and lore dumps. this is really bad writing and would have you thrown out of any publishing house. I skipped the whole first chapter after the 5th paragraph. Waste of time. I hope the other chapters are better. *hurries to chpt2*
| EriesAston chapter 5 . 9/9
oh my God! The master of death is a "precursor".. am i right?
| Darkcush chapter 5 . 9/5
Great stuff. I hope Harry guts that bitch Faith.
| Bill Gon chapter 5 . 9/4
(Insert Ominous Clapping In A Dimly Lit Den) and So It Begins, Voldy-Watts And His Bellatrix-esque Wife Have No Idea of The "SUFFERING" They Have Wrought Upon Themselves And Their So Called 'Empire' I Wonder If Harry Can Reanimate The Corpses Of Both The UEG Soldiers As Well As Their Víctims, Perhaps A Combination Of The Resurrection Stone And The Power Of The DEATHLY HALLOWS May Yield Some Very Lethal Quasi-Indestructible GHOULS, Modify Some Of Their Physical Atributes Into Combat-Worthy Súpernatural Terrors, Maybe Even Imbue Them With Lots of Magical Energy To Make Em Perform Kamikaze Takedowns Should They Be Subdued And/Or Killed By Superior Fire Power, Then Sic'em On The Remaining Insurrectionists, A'la No Life King Alucard From HELLSING ULTIMATE Style, It Would Make A Beautiful Symphony Of Revengence And EPIC JUDGEMENT!
| malinkody chapter 5 . 9/4
Not exactly what I was expecting, but it was still very exciting. I now have a lot of questions. I also hope that there will be more Harry pov in the next chapter. This chapter was a very good setup for a reveal in a later chapter. You showed every perspective except Harry's pov. This has given me quite the itch to read more. Looking forward to the next update.
| Kabuto S. Inferno chapter 5 . 9/4
Considering that this is something of a two-part chapter, with the first being chapter 6 itself (you're welcome for the advice lol), I'll be keeping my initial overall review relatively short this time around. Just makes no logical sense to keep rolling on with what has already been said before. However, since I greatly like this new review system that I've recently developed - I'll be leaving this particular review in a brusque fashion.
Writing: Once again, the chapter itself is damn near flawless when it comes to proper grammar and sentence construction. In fact, from what I just personally read a few odd moments ago, I daresay that there are close to no visible forms of poor literary mishaps; or more accurately, it all just seemingly flows. However, it should be gravely noted that on a few highlighted occasions (and the kind that only a "freak" like me would ever possibly notice lol) there are brief instances of comma misuse - though they're so minor that it really doesn't matter in the grand scheme of things. Once again, damn near flawless.
Characterization: While there wasn't much going outside of our main cast of characters, at least in regards to internal monologue and such forth, this most recent update to the "Consumption" fan fiction series still continues to display apt development all around the known board. From not only the then-still Vice Admiral Preston Cole (a major badass of the UNSC that unfortunately continues to be regularly ignored by the new/later additions to the Halo franchise), but also to the former URF combatant known as "Private Simmons", it was all wonderfully executed in my personal opinion. Same goes when it comes to the very minor characters presented within this specific chapter, such as the nameless grunts to both the UNSC side of things as well as the URF's.
Story/Plot: Excellent progression thus far, especially in regards to the sudden and rather surprisingly rapid development of our ever-so ominous third party entity (trying not to spoil for potential readers lol). However, while my internal disdain towards anything conceptually related to either the Precursors or the Mantle of Responsibility still continues to rage on with no foreseeable rest in mortal sight, I won't allow such blatant vitriol to ruin my honest enjoyment of this intriguing fan fiction. As such, I should provide an apt warning now that I might potentially become rather... "conflicted", let's say, when it comes to Halo's new canon with 343's recent exploration into the Mantle's overall foundation. Regardless, I look forward to seeing the greater fallout of this failed insurrection in the next coming chapters lol.