|Reviews for Dystopia|
| Lowknave chapter 7 . 2/19/2018
My man, Beau, would be how I'd imagine the perfect Pure One. I'm glad that the Pure Ones in this story recognize the hypocrisy of the Pure Ones cooperating with other species/hagsfiends. A Pure One fundamentalist has always been something I've been looking for in stories, especially in the later parts where Nyra became increasingly more detached from her ideology. I'm very glad to see this issue as part of the plot.
I think the Bell/Beau possibility is without question unless there's a sudden twist of fate . . . or heart. Though, it's pretty obvious which pair I would much rather see.
I would be fine with Nyra's "similarities" with Bell if it wasn't for the fact that she herself had turned into a hagsfiend (or began to). Perhaps if she seeks to reinstate the Tytos hegemony over all species I would forgive her, but right now I don't how to feel about this. She did betray Kludd, after all, which has always saddened me.
As always, I liked the chapter.
P.S. So if last time you wrote about their deteriorating relationship when you lost your boyfriend, does that mean now you have found a new one? Just curious.
| Lowknave chapter 6 . 2/3/2018
SOS? Geez, if that's the resistance group everyone has their hopes on then the "free" owl world is screwed. The best I can see the Small Owl Society doing is screaming about how the Pure Ones make fun of their size, but I just can't see them really putting up a fight. Sure, give them some ice splinters and those small owls can do some damage, but without them? Well, at least the resistance grows stronger, I'll secretly pretend SOS means "Strong" Owl Society to appease my own imagination.
I like the fact that after one of their resistance members were publicly executed they decided it was wise to meet up again — for some reason. With the resistance discovered, it is likely the Pure Ones will begin to suppress these movements before they grow any stronger. Still, I guess we'll have to wait and see how this plays out in the next chapter.
| Lowknave chapter 5 . 12/20/2017
It's been awhile, sorry about the long delay, been inactive until now for the most part. Seems you are in an equally unfortunate predicament, hope that improves soon.
Short chapter, but gets the point across: we finally know why Bell is doing the things she is doing, which is a nice thing to learn. Terribly ironic to the situation you were in, but I think that is better left unsaid.
While it can be beneficial in the short run to side with the triumph side to gain a better situation for one's self. It is, however, unwise in the long-run due to the fact that turning on your old family makes you their enemy. Then — if I understand what Bell is after correctly — betraying the ones you just joined up with (in particular: the hagsfiend) leaves you detached and vulnerable. But hey, no reward comes without risk, eh?
It'll be interesting to see how this plays out for Bell, and what she is truly after. Given how the hagsfiend is a prince, I'm sure this will be explained in future entries. I'm looking forward to any additional chapters you may add!
| Lowknave chapter 4 . 11/11/2017
It's been quite awhile, hasn't it been? Well, it's nice to see you've updated. Let's see what we've learned now with this chapter introduced.
Ah, so Bess is still around, shame she got caught by TUPO though. The fact there is a rebellion is also quite interesting but not surprising, I would imagine the rebellion to be scattered and disjointed in a world such as the one this story takes place in. Who knows? 150 members can be all the difference, especially when support and additional members can always be gathered.
One question I wanted to ask real quick: if being a rebel is dangerous and can lead to torture/death, then aren't Bess and Paro getting it off pretty easily? Perhaps they were captured for other reasons, but weren't known to be rebels, or they've already been tortured. Either way, I guess we'll find out in the next chapter.
All in all, it was a good little chapter, not much content-wise, but a update is better than nothing.
P.S. I wouldn't be surprised if the SOS (Small Owl Society) is rebel group either, or if they were, probably destroyed by now, don't you think? ;)
| Lowknave chapter 3 . 9/12/2017
Quite a short entry, but it'll suffice nonetheless!
So it's confirmed Bell is an informant, not much surprise there. Perhaps it would have been more of a surprise if she wasn't acting as strange as she had been. Also, giving away an informant's cover is quite dangerous - even if Andrew is being sent off to a "camp". But, we'll have to see how this develops.
Also, hagsfiends appear quite more orderly than I would have imagined . . . but, I guess they'really different than their predecessors, eh?
Still interested, wouldn't mind seeing another chapter if you're up to it, would like to find out what happens to Andrew's family while at these "camps".
| Lowknave chapter 2 . 8/23/2017
It's nice to see you've decided to continue! I was kind of left in the dark about your intentions, but it seems I have nothing to fear, as evident by the arrival of this chapter.
Now, for my review (which will be shorter than last time).
It's interesting to grasp exactly what is going on now, as society seems quite different with these new "overlords" from the looks of it. However, some things do seem confusing.
Like, who is "Justin", for example? What kind of owl is he, who is his parents? You know? That kind of stuff, some owls (such as the three B's and Gylfie) don't need explanation, but these OCs (or lesser known characters) could use some clarification.
Also, the "dance" and its speech gives me vibes that I had from the book "1984", which is good, as the situations aren't too different. I do find it strange however that there is no guards/soldiers keeping the owls in check, but I suppose there are spies around to ensure no subversive activities are initiated.
As for everything else, I guess it's best to wait and see, so I would say it's good so far—just be sure to give the characters some more description (so I understand who this "Justin" is for later chapters).
| Lowknave chapter 1 . 8/12/2017
Quite an interesting scenario if you ask me, one of those "what-if" moments in the series that makes you wonder what would have happened if the Pure Ones (and their allies) won that battle. I would (and I'm sure some others would but don't want to review at the moment) certainly like to see what else this story has to offer.
It's a shame, really, that people don't review stories around here that often; though, I'd like to make an effort to change that. I think that's partially why I entered my "hiatus" state at the moment, but surely that won't happen to you.
There is some thoughts I would like to bring up, but these aren't intended to sway you away from your current plot path. These are just merely thoughts I found off and perhaps could use an explanation.
I do think it is rather savage and awesome Nyra would taunt her enemy in such a way by offering the Ember of Hoole as a prize should the morally-snapped Guardian forces come out on top. But with a battle so undetermined and costly . . . I don't think such cockiness would be appropriate even for the Madame General herself! Good addition though, and I'm certainly not complaining.
The hagsfiend question is perhaps one of those: "Just, why?" situations. Who's to say they would even listen to the Pure Ones? In fact, the Pure Ones would no longer really exist, as they would just be slaughtered by Nyra (who is now a hagsfiend) and her army of demonic crowls that have no quarrel with Tytos in any regard. This isn't a lacking quality in your story—just one of those things I disliked the actual book series about.
Pellimore, surrendering!? Isn't that kind of counterintuitive? I—I know it's to expand upon the plot, but certainly at least she would realize the gravity of the consequences of allowing hagsfiend and Pure Ones to rule the world. Even if she decided to give up, the majority of the Guardians would continue fighting (likely to the death). Personally, I think having her and the rest of the Guardians cornered and without hope perhaps would of been a better reason—maybe Nyra could of (for the sake of this story) owlnapped Pelli's daughters and used them for ransom. Personally, that would be more logical than giving up over a lost of a loved one (in fact, wouldn't you be enraged?) Still, it's fine as it is, and we'll see how it plays out regardless.
*Slight cringe* Ouch, that treaty is quite fantastical from the look of it . . . like—so many problems arise from just looking at it. In what way and why does the Northern Kingdoms suddenly give up? Same could be argued for the Southern Kingdoms, the Guardians held no jurisdiction over them anyhow. Perhaps this will be explained in detail in a later chapter (so I won't cast too much judgment on this "Treaty of The Beyond" yet. ;) )
I mean, that's all that I really had to say. Trust me, I would really enjoy seeing more of this, should you continue it (don't mind the above, that's just me rambling). Yeah, hopefully you consider making the first chapter!
P.S: Sorry, but trivial detail. I think a better alternative for the title "empress" would be, "Pureness."
Supposedly, Nyra's original title was "Madame Pureness" as demonstrated in book five, but I guess empress would work too (now that she controls an "empire".)