|Reviews for Their Generation|
| delia cerrano chapter 7 . 11/8/2017
Pretty darn good!
| Hogwarts Official chapter 2 . 9/6/2017
Your feedback from Hogwarts for Assignment 2 (Transfiguration)
Your Grade: 17/20 (O)
Your Examiner: Sophy (The Crownless Queen)
I really enjoyed the physical descriptions in this, as they brought a lot of life to the story, making it easy to visualize both the characters and the situation. I thought Pansy was very well characterized, and I even enjoyed Luna, though I did find her a little out of character. Granted, this is an AU and she's a difficult character to get right, but still.
This story felt very original to me, both because of the theme and the characters/pairing chosen. It worked really well too, and combined it made for a very original and lovely story.
While the dialogue flowed rather well, the prose felt a bit dry at first, though it got better in the long run.
Still, there were some sentences - especially in the beginning - that could have been worded a bit better, and so the story could have flowed more smoothly.
While the prompt is clearly used, it felt used in small moments that almost vanished in the rest of the story. I'd have liked the prompt to be given a bit more importance, perhaps through showing more of Luna's emotions.
I had a fun time reading this story. I loved the pairing, and Pansy would definitely be petty enough to send her ex a portrait of herself like this. The interactions between the characters as well as the universe building were also great.
There were some parts worded a bit oddly, such as "I do not go in respect" which should be "out of respect", or "disabuse my trust" where simply "abuse my trust" since disabuse means something very different from what you were trying to say here.
| Hogwarts Official chapter 3 . 9/6/2017
Your feedback from Hogwarts for Assignment 2 (Performing Arts)
Your Grade: 17/20 (EE)
Your Examiner: Lizzy (SiriusMarauderFan)
Perfect characterization of the adults in this! Sirius is such a big kid. Harry's personality wasn't really shown, but I imagine he would have felt off anyway since it was an AU scenario.
I thought the story was very original and you did a great job of showcasing what could have happened. Because dream scenario is commonly used with Harry, I did take half a point.
I feel like the flow between scenes could have been a little better. And contractions could do wonders to help your dialogue sound more natural.
You made good use of the prompt.
You had me hooked through the whole story, dying to know how it was going to end. And then you broke my heart. Good job, I guess?
| Hogwarts Official chapter 1 . 8/28/2017
Your feedback from Hogwarts for Assignment One (Muggle Art)
Your Grade: 0/20 (T)
Your Examiner: Lizzy (SiriusMarauderFan)
You received this score because you did not fulfil the prompt. Notes from Lizzy: "I thought you did fine with physical descriptions and Parvati's petty, childish behaviour. I think that lines up well with what we've seen of her in later years. (4/4 points) I think the theme of jealousy between siblings is a pretty common one, but having it interfere in their sorting was an original idea so I gave you marks there. (2/4 points) I had some issues with the flow of your dialogue and during Parvati's discussion with the Hat, though I thought the rest of the fic was fine. (3/4 points) Unfortunately, I don't think you met the task at all. Parvati was meant to distance herself emotionally from the issue, but her emotions seemed to be driving her decisions here. She was upset at being 'the lesser twin' so she decided to /physically/ distance herself from her sister. I don't believe you've succeeded at the task. (0/4 points) I understood Parvati's desire to put the name-calling behind her and create a new identity for herself, and that in itself drove me to continue reading to see the outcome. (1/4 points) I noticed several instances of inconsistent and wrong capitalization - especially for 'sorting.' And I believe added apostrophes around Parvati's thoughts as you did with the Hat's speech would have made their conversation easier to read. (-1 point SPaG)"
| delia cerrano chapter 3 . 8/22/2017
Yup that was a surprise...Harry's "dream" and Sirius and Remus trading off being pregnant. It was a good surprise though sad for Harry that it was only a dream.