|Reviews for Service with a Smile|
| Slayer76 chapter 7 . 5/14
Coco is the friend we all say we want, but would definitely kill in a month
| Slayer76 chapter 2 . 5/14
Is it wrong that i feel bad for the mob in this story?
| Drake58 chapter 62 . 5/3
Another fantastic story that was lovely to read thank you cant wait to see what else you write
| joecola00 chapter 62 . 4/25
And it ends with him serving Salem coffee. I don't think this could have had a better ending! Great read from start to finish.
| Deer-Shifter chapter 54 . 4/23
wonderful closing! Mercury's little speech at the end actually had some lines of Shakespeare running through my head:
“The more my wrong, the more his spite appears.
What, did he marry me to famish me?
Beggars that come unto my father's door
Upon entreaty have a present alms;
If not, elsewhere they meet with charity;
But I, who never knew how to entreat,
Nor never needed that I should entreat,
Am starv'd for meat, giddy for lack of sleep;
With oaths kept waking, and with brawling fed;
And that which spites me more than all these wants-
He does it under name of perfect love;
As who should say, if I should sleep or eat,
'Twere deadly sickness or else present death."
And unlike Taming of the Shrew, Mercury hasn't ever come from a place where he experienced 'love' without deprivation or abuse, so he genuinely thinks that is the definition of love and is repulsed at the suggestion that he might enjoy doing that to Ruby long term!
Love what you've done to explore Mercury here.
| joecola00 chapter 28 . 4/22
Oh my God, I was dying when I figured out it was Adam on the 4th paragraph. This story is just a gem, in every single way.
| Abyssal Angel chapter 62 . 4/22
I'm almost hoping there's a sequel where Juane pulls off the impossible again and gets Salem and Oz to meet up and get marriage counseling. This was amazing!
| Abyssal Angel chapter 6 . 4/18
*sigh* I get the joke. I do. It's a decent lesson for them to learn, even if you're hammering it harder that you really should be. More to the point though, you've spent the past few chapters going over the details quite strenuously that Juane has lost his regular civilian clientele and is now rather exclusively a Hunter Hangout, so the idea of Weiss having to deal with an elderly civilian customer couple out of the blue really doesn't work in light of that. Again, I get what you were going for, but your previous details negate the effort and introducing a decent sized plot hole.
| MosquitoesLoveMe chapter 59 . 4/16
This is easily your best chapter ever written thus far. How I wish we could shout some sense into world leaders and have it stick.
| Aetherium21 chapter 62 . 4/6
Bahahaha what a perfect ending
| NobodyOwens5 chapter 28 . 4/5
that Ozpin and Glynda scene had me laughing so loud I woke up my family. Don't think they're all that happy about it but damn, what a scene.
| sirbruno95 chapter 45 . 3/24
Why is it that in all your stories Jaune always gets his head bitten off by everybody whenever he does something when all the other characters would do the same? And why is it that you always make Jaune all noble and understanding regardless of how frustrating it must be to be that way? Always turns the other cheek while saying sorry, never a touch of nuance like him talking back and winning the argument or simply being annoyed at their arguments like a real person would while always being the butt of a joke. No, Jaune would hate himself for being anything but noble and understanding and would grovel for forgiveness if he ever strayed from being anything but.
He's basically a Mary Sue at this point. Not a Marty Stu, that would require him being at least competent on anything that would make him cool. No, he's basically a Mary Sue because the world basically turns around him (In this story at least), literally everybody wants a piece of him regardless of circumstances, his personality has only virtues instead of relatable flaws and the world is out to get him so that we the audience can feel more pity on him. It isn't fun to read, I'll tell.
I've been following you ever since One Good Turn Deserves Another (5 years I think) and read most stories since then (Not including Professor Arc and most stories that are Comedy. I'm not into it.) and I can tell this is more of problem on how you write than the story being straight up bad. Whenever you find yourself lacking on characterization for Jaune, be it for plot or lack of time to write, you turn to this "default" Jaune characteristics that he seems to share in all stories, regardless of the fact that he should have such reactions. This is a writer flaw that you need to overcome because it's getting into more and more stories as time goes on.
| sirbruno95 chapter 38 . 3/22
I honestly don't know how to put my emotions into a review, nor can I pinpoint the exact reason I feel the need to, but here it goes.
I'm not having fun reading the story.
Like, I'm straight up skipping some parts because of how bad or cringy they are.
I know it's a nitpick, but my main problem comes from some shared characteristics between characters. One example would be how everyone shares the "Eh, no problem" dismissal, regardless of circumstances or character. I can get it from a character like Yang in a casual conversation, but you go a step further and give the same mannerism to every character in the least likely scenarios, like during a heart to heart between characters, one just kills the mood by being all witty and whatnot. Another issue I have is that instead of having two characters interact with one another throughout a conversation or a emotional moment, you just have a character spouting whatever you need them to say, without filter, for multiple paragraphs while the others just sits there doing nothing till you get your point across, without taking into account the fact that said person would or should do so. There are more nitpicks I would like to point out, but at the end of the day they all share a similarity: they pull me out of the story.
This is a common trait among your stories.
| Snazzy Snake chapter 17 . 3/21
"Sudden and random robbery," I'll eat my hat if this wasn't organised by Café Prime.
| sirbruno95 chapter 34 . 3/21
I just want to say, this chapter felt really cringe for me.