|Reviews for Little Moment: Stone in the River|
| MakhaiArcanum chapter 1 . 1/7
Damn. That was epic. At first I was really confused because I couldn’t see how this was the prequel, but now I get it. Fricken time travel makes things so confusing though, haha.
| Nate-Mihael chapter 1 . 8/27/2019
"It was why his headquarters was a tower, so she would never feel trapped underground again." Dude, why you breaking my heart like this?
This was great. I like how you tied the entire fic together, how, despite its size, it wastes no words. How per example Gwen's relative weakness in fighting the Incurseans is not just stated to be on account of her slacking off but shown to the reader by the first scene of the excavation. It's a small thing, but it makes it feel more fleshed out. All the parts of the story tie together well like that.
The characterization is amazing, and that is an understatement. I can see ghosts of OS Ben and Gwen very clearly in the way Ben 10K and Gwendolyn talk, think and act, but its buried deep under who they are today. It feels like these characters grew organically from the children that they once were. This was clearly visible for Gwendolyn in the OS episode on the matter, but wasn't so much for Ben (other than the justification of 'its just the way he is'). I am eager to move on to the next part, and hope that (at some point) we get more insight into how Ben still feels about Gwen.
Oh on a side note I really liked how you made Kai into this charming, sharp woman that you could actually see Ben going for (because isn't witty and strong something he fings attractive?), rather than writing her off as 'just the rival for Ben's heart'. I also appreciate that you had her try to establish a better bond with Gwen. Made her very sympathetic to read.
If I had to offer a point of critique, I would say that I found Gwen's conclusions on the inscriptions that she dumped on her coworkers over morning coffee were a bit weaker in delivery. Presumably she is working with people that have a semblance of the history she is describing, so it would have been more realistic to have this be an actual talk. As it is now, it feels like an exposition dump, and one that is pretty far out there. Doesn't make for the most optimal pay-off.
Regardless, that is just a nitpick. Thank you for the lovely story, I'm off to enjoy your writings some more.
| Mayonaka no Sasayaki chapter 1 . 1/27/2019
This was so bittersweet and incredibly enjoyable. Is there any chance that you'll continue this? Like a happy end or maybe closure for Gwendolyn? Anyway, great work!
| Samian chapter 1 . 1/16/2019
This is a short that I'll remember for a long time, it was very well witten and you've managed to build a strong foundation for it.
Apart from some elements that you've put in this could be a standalone piece.
Good job, I'll be taking a look at your other fics when I get a chance.
| Guest chapter 1 . 9/23/2018
I really like this fic. The world created with magic and history corresponding with the classic show made the entire story so real.
I just wonder how it all turns out because I like endings where we are left to think of what the ending would be, but I like it better in story like these with a bit of desperatness in the ending to have the landing point. What happened after the events of the show in "Ben10,000" and if Ken from "Ken10" was between who?
| Infernal Blaze chapter 1 . 8/18/2018
Amazing. Absolutely amazing. I don't know what else to say.
| necros434 chapter 1 . 8/17/2018
This was absolutely brilliant I haven't read little moments but I'm definitely going to give it a read now thank you for writing this this was very enjoyable
| Sishen123 chapter 1 . 6/27/2018
Dude thats depressing im sorry but you just made an infinite loop because little moments was after gwen and bbenalready met there older selves so you changed nothing other than the future they were ment to have together. But then you already knew that.
| Getsomewater chapter 1 . 4/15/2018
Pretty speechless. One of the best reads I've had in a long time, and probably the best one shot. Amazing addition to little moments, which I wish was continued lol. You should be proud of your writing skills, kudos to you!
| koolkame chapter 1 . 3/17/2018
I want to cuss right now, this was so good of a read. It's a great piece to Little Moments but it also worked with the Ben 10 canon in amazing ways and was overall a good read on its own. I really want to watch Ben 10,000 again just to connect it to this story, which I think is a good standard for any fanfiction if it makes you want to go back to the source material.
I really don't have any critiques as everyone was so greatly represented and even Kai was spared any of the usual slandering, I actually like her character so I appreciate that. (I was a brat at ten and sixteen, too, c'mon, it's overdone). So in closing it's one of the best Ben 10 fics I've read and thanks for writing it!
| Squidgod812 chapter 1 . 1/20/2018
| JC RH chapter 1 . 12/1/2017
You focused too much on a plot (which was inevitably boring because it's about a plot device, which was not even needed in canon thus making it even more boring) rather than the characters. Should have Explained more why she wanted to change everything. From this we did not really get that. It almost felt like a villain act because of the lack of reasons fot her doing. Needed more for Ben as well specially if that's why she does it.
Apart from that it was well written. It was clear you put a lot of effort into writing it and building up the details. I respect that very much. Just focus more on the characters as much as you do for the plot. Plot is important, but it's the characters that keep the plot alive usually. Doesn't matter if it's a fanfiction or LotR or HP. More often than not, characters are the important thing.
Just look at the Little moments. The author tried real hard to focus on the characters. From Ben and Gwen to Aunt Vera and Sandra. That's the secret ingredient in the story. If the reader connects with the charcters it's an instant success. Why do you think Supernatural is running for 13 seasons with the lame plots they are putting out these days? It's the characters.
Please do not be discouraged by this. It's just constructive criticism from my opinion. I usually don' t even bother to it unless I think a good writer is missing out on a little detail.
| Vontar chapter 1 . 11/15/2017
Amazing story. Excellent writing and it fits right in with Little Moments.
| AirenLag chapter 1 . 9/10/2017
Omg, this is great! It really feels as if it was part of 'little moments'. All those references, all the flashbacks! The whole situation is sad, but so promising... I love it!
| CripticCynic chapter 1 . 8/30/2017
You got me hooked since the beginning