Reread the contest entry and see lots of foreshadowing here of the brother's characters. Look forward to more.

What a wonderful start. So well written, I could visualise each scene as the day moved on.
Poor Bella, not a good time for her, she's lost the foundation of her life. I'm hoping Esme can be the mother figure she needs and help fill the void left by Charlie's death. Everything will be changing in her life, that's a lot to take in, especially as a young teenager.

Congratulations on this new story, I'm excited to see where you take us with this. I'm strapping myself in and looking forward to taking this journey with you. :) xx

Can't wait to read more.