|Reviews for Bruises|
| Guest chapter 15 . 10/15
Amazing Story, I must say you got me!When Are you uploading? I cant wait! Oh and please punish Apollo!
| persizzle chapter 15 . 9/20
I love this fic so much, your writing is so good. I've read this whole thing like twice now!
| probably.lost.in.a.book chapter 15 . 9/12
I’m guessing this story is discontinued? Well anyways I’m going to follow it just in case! I love it so far. I hope you continue.
| garcia chapter 15 . 9/5
im gasping for more chapters!
| Ella di angelo chapter 15 . 8/21
| snowpheobe chapter 15 . 8/20
| queenofsadness chapter 15 . 8/11
Will you continue? Also I love this storyy33
| Katie chapter 15 . 8/11
This is the greatest story I've ever read. Please continue
| Guest chapter 15 . 8/10
WEN R U GOING TO UPDATE HUHHH?!
IVE WAITEDD AGESS HURRRYY JUSTT 1 CHAPTER!
| Guest chapter 15 . 8/10
I NEED AN UPDATEE ITS TO AMAZIMF TO BE LEFTT LIKE THISS :(:/
| Siuan-Amyrlin chapter 15 . 8/9
I don't know what to think about your fanfiction. Usually, I'm very careful with fanfics telling abuses because most of the time, it's treated badly and just for gore. But I'm quite convinced with your story. You described well the fear, the sadness and the caring of Will, symptoms typical for a victim of abuses. In general, the victim sees the evil in the acts, but thinks finally that it's his or her fault and that the aggressor loves him or her in his or her twisted way. You depicted perfectly the panic attacks too, that's impressive and it mades me feel uneasy. I felt sad for Will and I wanted to enter into your story and to save him from that monster.
However, I can't see Apollo like that, I'm bothered by the fact you changed his personality. OK, as a god, he did awful things, especially to his son, Trophonios. But an immortal cannot think as a mortal and it's fascinating to see how much Apollo becomes human in Trials of Apollo. However, I don't believe that he would harm Will. In fact, it would have been far easier for me if you have changed his name. I know it can sound idiot, but I like this character and I cannot definitely imagine him as a violent monster. But, I'm quite curious about his psychology and his past: you told us Will reminds him of his ex, Naomi and that's why he beats him. But what did she do? Why does he need to be a monster with his son? Monsters are fascinating in some ways. Understand me, I'm not approving child abuse, of course not.
I liked the literary references: Of Mice and Men, a book I love, and Blue Beard, Barbe Bleue in French. I don't know if you know it, but it's a fairy tale inspired by Henry VIII of England. In it, Barbe Bleue marries a young beautiful woman. One day, he has to go on a travel. So, he gives the key and the managing of the house to his wife, forbidding her to go to his office. Obviously, he counts on her curiosity. And then, the woman goes to the office and discovers the corpses of several women, exes of Barbe Bleue. She closes the door, but unfortunately for her, blood stains the key and she can't wash it off... Barbe bleue tries to kill her. Anyway, your story with Apollo's office reminds me of this fairy tale. If he breaks the rule, he dies.
Now, let me speak about the characters. In your fanfiction, I've got the impression that the roles are different: usually, Nico is the traumatised boy, comforting and fixing up by Will, the good doctor. Here, it's the contrary and it's quite interesting. I'd love to see Nico in a sort of soul physician. I like the way you describes him, a smart punk with a kind heart behind his cynism. But I can't imagine him as a popular student, I like the Nico who hates being in society and who limits himself to his friend and... Will, the sunshine of his life. P You're not really OOC with Will, since he's a victim of abuse and acts as one. But I recognize the intelligent and caring boy, who doesn't think himself brave.
The secondary characters are treated well: the return of Mr Brunner makes me smile, it's a wave of nostalgia. I was back to my sixteen, when I read Percy Jackson for the first time! I like the role you give to Jason, I think the original one would do the same, but in his Roman fashion, so without any sense of delicacy. And when you deal with a victim of abuse, you have to be patient and to choose your words well. Even if obviously, they're in danger. I hope to see Piper, Leo, Annabeth and Cie soon. But my real interest is the evolution of Will and Nico's relationship and how Nico will help Will to get out of here. They're cute together and I found myself smiling by reading their discussions.
I will not criticise the language because I'm not a native English speaker and I don't feel self-confident enough to do so. And sorry for the eventual mistakes in my review. X) So, I follow your story with pleasure and I hope to read the next chapter soon!
| Guest chapter 15 . 8/1
Wherr is the next one i need it pls
| Guest chapter 1 . 8/1
I just started the fan fic and i love it so damn much. Thanks for making this!
| demi-witchdaughterofHades chapter 15 . 8/1
| Kate mockler chapter 15 . 7/25
Omg I love it so much what the hell Percy and Jason are funny Nico I am loving him I cry for will Apollo is a jerk what the hell this is so good I love ever bit of it