Reviews for You Deserve Better
SecretFruits chapter 1 . 12/30/2017
Awww! I love house elf fics and this is so sweet. You write and characterize both Dobby and Winky really well. My only complaint would be that Winky comes around very, very quickly, but that's minor. And I loved the reminiscencing Winky does on her time with the Crouch's; those memories felt really real and in-character.
NeonDomino chapter 1 . 10/30/2017
I really like this. I like the way Dobby talks to Winky and how you've written the dialogue here (making it house-elf-speak), so good job there. It's interesting how you showed Dobby getting through to Winky by showing how they aren't even being treated like house-elfs but like pets.

I did notice some punctuation errors in your fic, but apart from that, it was great. It flowed nicely and was interesting to read. It's not often I get to read about Dobby and Winky and I love the characterisation here.
Zivandre chapter 1 . 10/26/2017
Oh, Dobby. Why must you make me remember him? He was a good elf, he was! I love that you thought of this out of the word 'pet,' it shows great creativity! I didn't notice any SPaG issues, and the flow was great! I'm also glad that you decided to show Winky contemplating everything! Great work!
AlwaysPadfoot chapter 1 . 10/26/2017
Okay but isn't it so adorable how they are constantly using each other's names?! You capture House elves so well; I'm not sure I could quite pull it off the way you have!

This friendship is honestly wonderful and the way Dobby takes Winky under his wing so to speak is adorable and beautiful. Like how have you almost made me cry at how cute they are. This was really is written well and you can't exactly fault grammatical errors in the speech because they're literally house-elf correct (clever!).

I loved this.

Ami x
Cookies and Ink chapter 1 . 10/26/2017
Honestly I'm so impressed that you managed to write the house-elves speech like canon and not make it feel forced or silly, that's something I was worried about and I don't think I could ever pull it off as well as you did.

This was sweet, Winky's quite a tragic character really as is Dobby ultimately and to see them on their way to a better way of life, Dobby influencing the others was nice to see.

I've also never read a fic from the perspective of a house elf that wasn't absolute crack so it felt really unique.

Thank you for this.
DobbyRocksSocks chapter 1 . 10/25/2017
In honor of Dobby... I mean. Your author's note breaks my heart a bit. Unsurprisingly, I love Dobby. Anyway...
I love your characterisation here, and props for attempting the speech patterns of house elves, because dude, that is not an easy thing to write. You pulled it off for the most part as well. There's an occasional sentence where it could be reworded, but overall, the speech patterns are on point.
The friendship you wrote here is adorable, and I can totally see this happening. Winky needed someone to put her straight, and Dobby was the perfect one to do - and probably the only one she'd listen to.
Well done.
The Crownless Queen chapter 1 . 10/25/2017
This was so very good! I love Dobby and he and Winky deserved so much better (honestly, all house-elves do in the Potterverse) and I think you did a fantastic job on their characterization :) I love Dobby and Winky's friendship, and the way Dobby keeps supporting her and tries to get her to realize she's better off without her master :)
I do think you made Dobby's dialogue too good though :/ I mean, I don't think he'd use such vocabulary...
Nice drabble still ;)
Cheers! :)
Cheeky Slytherin Lass chapter 1 . 10/24/2017
Awh this was so adorable. I loved the friendship you captured here. Winky definitely needed someone like Dobby to help her along.
I love that you managed to capture the way they speak nicely. It's not an easy thing to do, but you pulled it off.
Such a cute fic, and you portrayed so many happy emotions in so few words. Awesome job
MaryandMerlin chapter 1 . 10/22/2017
I am happy to honour Dobby with this review! I have to say I enjoyed reading something from such a different POV. I liked hearing about Dobby and Winky in a normal setting as opposed to some twisted romance, he was just there for her. Also I thought you’d rote it very well. It can’t have been easy to maintain a nice flow and nice tone whilst still making it sound authentically like Dobby and I’m impressed you did so without taking anything away from the way it read. I’m not sure I’m getting my meaning across properly but either way I thought it was really well written and very enjoyable to read. Well done :D
isaacswolfsbane chapter 1 . 10/21/2017
I've never been a big fan of Dobby, I've always found his need to help far too irritating for me to get behind. However, I did like how you portrayed him here and how he's standing up for what he believes in rather than just trying (and failing usually) to save Harry.

I love that you've compared house elves to pets because it's the first time I've really thought about any sort of comparison, but really it's not like that at all. I mean, people treat pets better than their own children half the time. But that does really help highlight just how shitty the treatment of house elves is, and almost makes me see why Dobby is the way he is.

(This wasn't really a review, was it? It was more me babbling on about what I took away from it rather than what I thought about it. Sorry)

Great job :)
ipsa dixit chapter 1 . 10/18/2017
This was so great. I'm always a sucker for and friendship fics and I especially love that this was about the house elves because it was a refreshing take on friendship. dobby and winky's characterization was very good and the dynamic between them was cute. i also love the plot - dobby trying to help winky through this. great job :)
Fire The Canon chapter 1 . 10/5/2017
Yay for Dobby! I think you captured Dobby's character really nicely here. You really showed his belief system and how passionate he was about it. I also think, as a whole, you got both Winky and Dobby's language/speech quite spot on. Well done.

This was written quite well. The only thing I noticed was your inconsistency with dialogue grammar. Sometimes you used the correct punctuation and other times not. Just remember, if 'he said' or something like that follows it's a comma. If it's an action [he moved, shifted, etc] then it's a period.

Over all, a very nice and in character story. Well done.
WritingBlock chapter 1 . 10/4/2017
I am so on board for Winky/Dobby. Yes, bring it. I am prepared for both the fluff route and the angst route.

I love how you have Dobby try to comfort Winky first with the way that he is comforted, and then you have him sit back and think, “What if this doesn’t actually comfort her?”

Dobby reminds me of Hermione here and I am enjoying it so much! (Although, Hermione could learn a thing or two on adjusting your battle plans from this smart elf….)
The only SPaG errors that I noticed were the mandatory house-elf speech errors. It was very easy to follow along and I enjoyed every bit of it! Well done!
Emmeebee chapter 1 . 10/3/2017
I love how you mentioned Dobby trying a number of different approaches to get through to Winky before deciding to turn it around and effectively ask her why she’s so loyal to someone like Crouch instead.

My only criticism is that you were inconsistent with your dialogue tags. If the verb is describing the speech, you’re supposed to use a comma, whereas if it is describing an action unrelated to it, you’re supposed to use a full stop. For example, [is so great.” said Dobby] should be [is so great,” said Dobby] and [it,” Dobby positioned himself] should be [it.” Dobby positioned himself.].

For the most part, though, your writing was really clear and easy to read. You also captured house-elf speech brilliantly, which can be really hard to do.
The Lady Rogue chapter 1 . 10/1/2017
Aw, Dobby. He's such a sweetheart. I did find the dialogue a bit disjointed, but I place a lot of the blame for that on the backwards manner that house elves speak in, which I thought that you wrote really well.
I like that you've involved the school house elves as well, perhaps making them consider what freedom truly means. An adorable fic.
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