|Reviews for Changes|
| VStarTraveler chapter 1 . 3/25
Saw your story in the Favorites List at The Room so I’m stopping by for a read and short review for the Three-Thirds Event.
I was surprised to see the story written in second person, but that seemed to be quite effective as a means of expressing Narcissa’s concern and care for Bellatrix. Her lingering nightmares from her incarceration in Azkaban made a lot of sense, as did the gentle touch that Narcissa tries to exercise with her with the bath, her dress, and her wand. The question about Azkaban seemed to be a reasonable way of drawing her out, but Bellatrix’s reaction to it was very much in character based on what I recall from the books and remember even better from the screen. How much is she like before, and how much of her “new” personality is really a change. I like how the end leaves the question up in the air.
This was well written and I didn’t catch any typos or punctuation issues in my casual read. I’m not sure how to explain one possible grammar point, but where ((you suggest Bellatrix has a bath)), I believe it should be ((you suggest [that (optional)] Bellatrix have a bath)) since it is yet to happen at that point.
Very nice job. Thanks for sharing it.
| SecretFruits chapter 1 . 3/25
Posting a guest review since it seems I reviewed this a long time ago -
“It’s as if she’s left her body behind to go somewhere else” – may I just take a moment to discuss how much I absolutely love this line? It painted such a picture for me, both emotionally and physically. That scene of Bella staring at herself in the mirror was probably one of my favorite Bella scenes ever – seeing someone so vulnerable like that, and also seeing a more feminine side of Bella… just wow. I also love the comparison between her and a dementor, since in many ways that’s what she is.
I love your Narcissa. She cares deeply for her family, as evidenced by the talk of Draco’s childhood and her absolute focus on her sister and how she understands what her sister means even when Bella herself doesn’t. And she’s also slightly in denial, not realizing for a bit just how hurt Bella is. And of course, that unconditional love at the very end!
| Thrawn13 chapter 1 . 3/18
I like the spin on Bella here. Great fic.
| 2olluxampora chapter 1 . 3/8
This was an incredibly unique fic. I'm not sure I've ever read anything quite like it. First off, I think the second person POV was a great choice for this, since it helps the reader empathize more with Narcissa, something I think is helpful when dealing with a character like Bellatrix who isn't normally very sympathetic. I'm very comfortable with second person thanks to Homestuck, but I think you executed it in a way that even people not used to that point of view can get immersed in.
Secondly, the relationship between the sisters was lovely. I haven't read many fics where Narcissa and Bella are this close; Narcissa is often portrayed as being more distant from Bellatrix and seeing her as too fanatical, but I do think this is realistic given how much she values family. You can really feel Narcissa's worry and uncertainty throughout, so the tone was great.
I do think Bella opening up about Azkaban and the end of the fic came about a bit abruptly. Maybe a little more build-up to her needing to let it out would have helped, but overall, it wasn't hugely disruptive.
Overall, great job! You really made me see a side of Bellatrix and her relationship with Narcissa that I hadn't considered before.
| Screaming Faeries chapter 1 . 2/10
This was great. I'm normally not too fond of second person POV, but you executed it so well I'm inspired to try writing in this POV myself at some point.
It was really interesting to see this vulnerability to Bellatrix. She's usually such a hardened, manic character that it's difficult to imagine her suffering with trauma or thinking that she might have actually found her time spent at Azkaban difficult. It really humanised her character, which is something we don't experience canonically. The second person POV helped the reader to sympathise with Narcissa too on a much more personal level, which was very well written.
I love how understanding and patient you wrote Narcissa, and I like the idea of there being this middle ground between Bellatrix and her going back to work with Voldemort.
Really great work, well done!
| ofstarsandstuff chapter 1 . 12/30/2017
AMA-ZING! This si sone thing I love about fanficion, the fact that you get to mould characters into anything you want. I've read several Bellatrixes and each were as different as the can be. And your Bella is definitely something new, I really really like her!
| public static void chapter 1 . 12/24/2017
I'm not a fan of second person pov, but I like how it's done in this case. I think it's a great way to showcase how Narcissa feels and makes the reader empathetic to both sisters.
Everything, from the dress being like a dementor's cloak to Narcissa being there to repay a favour, is lovely in a dark, sisterly way. Their relationship has been forever changed and I wonder what other things changed for Bellatrix.
My favourite part is the starting paragraph, with Narcissa wanting to share her life with Bellatrix but refraining because she knows Bellatrix hasn't really lived a life these years.
| ipsa dixit chapter 1 . 11/28/2017
wowowow this was great! :D
i love how complex you made bellatrix, not completely bad but not completely good, either. you had her still have her struggles but have her recovering and your use of second person really made me more emotionally involved with the story and made me feel stuff and it was great :D
| SecretFruits chapter 1 . 11/27/2017
I love this! Can't believe you wrote it in one day either - you should be so proud. The emotion that rings through this piece is amazing, and the second person short snippets really highlight it.
| The Rose in Death's Garden chapter 1 . 11/24/2017
This is an interesting take on the reunion between the two sisters after Bellatrix got out of prison. Narcissa seems particularly naive about what kind of long-term effects years in Azkaban with the Dementors would have on a person, especially considering her sister probably wasn't entirely mentally stable in the first place. Thinking that a bath and a good night's sleep would make go back to normal seems really dumb, and something only someone with no understanding of the horrors of Dementors could even think.
The line "Bellatrix needs some lotion." seems like it would be more at home in crack fic than a serious one and it breaks the tone of that section. I would suggest taking that out or changing it to something more along the lines of Narcissa making a mental note to bring Bellatrix some skin care supplies.
The way she shows improvement but will never truly be entirely better was nicely done.
| 9025709621590 chapter 1 . 11/13/2017
The way this builds in snippets (her night terrors, her ongoing recovery, then her letting everything out with Narcissa) feels right, and makes the story flow really nicely despite the length of time this fic is written over; it must've been months by the end of the fic from when she escaped from Azkaban.
I really like the use of second person here – I really feel Narcissa’s anxiousness to reconnect with her sister and to ensure her safety, and I feel I can connect with her even better with that choice!
I love this piece. I think I get so wrapped up sometimes in Bellatrix being this mad, dark magic-obsessed witch that I forget she's a human being who may actually have suffered at Azkaban. Thank you for writing about a character in a way that opened my mind a little! :)
| Guest chapter 1 . 11/10/2017
I love how you wrote both Narcissa and Bellatrix and the bond that they have! Please write more about the two of them after her return from Azkaban!
| Guest chapter 1 . 11/9/2017
I loved this! Please write more about bella & cissy!
| summersaults16 chapter 1 . 11/9/2017
I never read a story written on the second person pov before and I'm so amazed how effortless you pulled it off. It was great how you pulled the readers in on what Bellatrix was experiencing after being locked up in Azkaban for so many years. I never depicted Bellatrix this way - traumatized and scared, how you gave her another side of her usual sadistic characteristic. You've made her more human which the readers could sympathize with so bravo. The story was also written well. The pacing, the flow, the plot - brilliantly executed.
| WritingBlock chapter 1 . 10/20/2017
Is this written in second person POV? Such an interesting choice!
This was such an interesting read! I enjoyed seeing how Bellatrix reacted to things and how we (The readers as Narcissa) felt about the situation and how we handled her. It was weird to have a scared Bella but at the same time, it also felt like Bella should’ve been like this when she got out of Azkaban!