Reviews for One
Iarud Nilrem chapter 14 . 12/27/2016
It seems you're more than ten years gone, Dragoness, but for the record, I've given your story an audio review on YouTube. If you ever want to see it, and hear me read it aloud, just type in "Making My Way Dragoness Bahamut." Needless to say, I thoroughly enjoyed your writing.
Iarud Nilrem chapter 2 . 8/7/2016
I'd really like to get in contact with you, Dragoness, but I don't know how else to do it. I intend to post an audio version of your story on YouTube, and I was hoping you or your fans would see it, even fifteen years later. The review is coming, after the audio.
Moss Stories chapter 14 . 3/10/2016
This story did a complete U-turn didn't it.
I'm a little sad that this is the ending but hopefully "One Heart", which I'm guessing is the next story in the series will have a more satisfying for me. Still I love this story even if it was a mood breaker. XD
This and "Making My Way" 9 out of 10
Kazriel chapter 14 . 11/10/2013
wouldn't this mean that now mewtwo is the dark mew and this will repeat itself with the same basic thing happening to the world until someone breaks the cycle again?
pyroguardian-of-thewhiteflame chapter 14 . 4/13/2013
To tell the truth I didn't really like this one, but I liked the two fics before this one those one I think were really , but that's all I can really say about this.
Cortana49 chapter 1 . 9/20/2012
I favorited this story a while ago, and I've been rereading my favorites and writing reviews for my blog. Recently, an author of one such fanfic was put out that I didn't share the review with her, so I'm now posting the reviews on the fanfics. Here's this fic's:

"Following the previously reviewed Pokemon fanfics "Everything Changes" and "Making My Way" is the sequel/spin-off "One", posted November 30th, 2000-February 14th, 2001 by Dragoness. It's significantly shorter than the previous fanfics, less than half as long. While "Making My Way" ends with Ash managing to avert a dark prophecy, "One" supposes he doesn't and explores the version in which Ash becomes a tyrannical warlord.

"One" is primarily about Ash being evil. He kills people; he enslaves people; he tries to take over the world. That's pretty much it. There's some stuff about Ash being conflicted as he feels some lingering sway from his good side, but it's pretty much just an exercise in torturing the innocent Pokemon characters.

Whereas "Making My Way" had Ash's dark side come out of nowhere, "One" at least tries to explain it as "the Disease", an evilness similar to Eli's vampirism in Let the Right One In that got into him through a psychic experience in "Making My Way". It still doesn't have any decent explanation of where it came from and why it's attracted to Ash besides that there is a prophecy that says a Dark Mew tries to destroy the world. Mewtwo was supposed to be the Dark Mew, but Mewtwo's motivation was clearly laid out in Mewtwo Strikes Back, while Ash is just evil because evidently the author found that interesting to write about.

Because Ash is no longer a Pokemon trainer and all battles are fights for survival, the fights are a lot more interesting to read than in the previous fanfics. Ash is the Pokemon fighting, so all battles have him right in the thick of it. Even though it's a foregone conclusion that Ash survives at least until the end of the story, I found a big fight between Ash and the Legendary Birds and Nekiro in Chapter 7: And Then There Was... to be quite engaging.

I like stories about evil overlords that explore the twisted relationships between the overlord and his or her subjects. "One" does this a bit with Ash enslaving his mother and former love interest Misty, but it doesn't go into nearly as much detail as I'd like. Ash just feels a touch guilty but an evil overlord's got to do what an evil overlord's got to do, with (again) not enough explanation as to why he does anything he does.

There is some exploration of identity issues. As the Dark Mew, Ash calls himself Ashura. In the "Everything Changes" universe, Ashura was what he was formally named, but his mother started calling him Ash after comparing him to an ash tree. Giovanni and Nekiro then called him Ashura when he preferred to be called Ash, and then when the Disease got into him, he had a vision of his human self claiming to be an Ash that died upon his evolution to Mew. In "One", the villain protagonist asserts the name Ashura against several previous friends who insist on calling him Ash. When an enslaved Eevee evolves into an Umbreon, he wonders if that means that the Eevee is now dead and a new being took his place. This can be thought of as an equivalent to the Ship of Theseus conundrum.

The problems with representing the different modes of communication are still there. Normal telepathy is rendered in text that looks no different than normal narrative text. You kind of just need to have an eye for it. Italics are primarily used for translations of Pokemon dialog, or Ash's internal thoughts. I think that could be handled simpler, though, such as through having italic text within quote marks to indicate what Pokemon are saying without the meaningless "Pikapika." Italics could then be used for telepathy, while internal thoughts could be represented within the simple narrative text.

By the way, I have to point out just how odd it is for a Pokemon to call the protagonist Ash through "Pikapika" and then have him respond with "Don't call me that!" Is "Pikapika" really that distinctive?

In general, "One" is just okay. It's a nice dark changeup in what you'd expect from a Pokemon fanfic, but nothing that special. I prefer the "Making My Way" ending, in which Ash commits suicide to keep the Dark Mew from coming out. "One" requires a spontaneously introduced character to get stuffed in the refrigerator before Celebi-ex-machina helps defeat the Dark Mew. How Celebi actually helps makes an intriguing end to the fanfc series, though. I really liked this series a decade ago, but I think it doesn't hold up well enough to continue to count "Everything Changes", "Making My Way", and "One" among my favorites."
SuperSaiyanTeemo chapter 14 . 4/18/2012
ok...i'm back i mention your great writer? I hope you get back on fanficiton eventually and post more great stories for us readers
SuperSaiyanTeemo chapter 13 . 4/18/2012
OH GOD!...i cant read on..for now...this story is 2 sad for me to continue reading at the moment...but you are a brillant writer i must say
Tanon chapter 14 . 4/21/2011
Holy Shit.

This was even better, but this fic was just as depressing as reading 1984, which even the ending didn't do anything to alleviate.

Not to say that this wasn't bad, but I'm impressed how far you planned this story... 94 chapters, wasn't it? Jeez...

The ending was amazing, and it is only now I understand the meaning of the summary you put on the first fic in this series. Its interesting how something that small could have such a large impact on the future, although in the end, it was planned out.

Holy Shit. 10/10.

Best fic I've ever read on the website, and it's up there with the stuff I've read outside here too...
Tobias.TH chapter 14 . 4/18/2010
Okay, oh wow.

Your grammar is fairly good, but you have many slip-ups. Your characterisation is. . . Umm. . . Odd. Your stories (the trilogy here) were just so bizarre. You also had many plotholes in which introduced information had completely been forgotten when it could/should have been used. Overall, that means that it was terrible.

But. . .

I planted myself down with the idea that I would only read a few chapters of 'Everything Changes', and then just read an occasional few more whenever I could be bothered. I ended up reading the trilogy all in one sitting. When what was going to happen was the most obvious plot-twist in the world, I was still left guessing. I laughed at the jokes that you had written into the story, I enjoyed to read over the movie in-puts (complete with the voices and music playing along with it in my head), and I grew quiet and serious when I read over serious moments. I also found the ending to be very satisfying, and the length was to die for (even though I would have loved the chapters to be fuller).

That was what made it such a great read. I am extremely impressed by what you have written, and you have managed to do something that very few authors (on this site) are capable of. Overall (for a second time), it was absolutely brilliant.

I do hope that you do return to this site and that you do continue writing.

I am glad to have come across such a gem in fanfiction.
Perfecto chapter 14 . 3/11/2010
OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG THAT WAS THE PERFECT ENDING TO ALL 94 CHAPTERS! But does this mean everything didn't happen..? My heart skipped a beat (for real) when I realized that the water in the tank thing worked. Either way I give it a * (5 star) even wit all the blood, gore, death... Anyway hope you write more soon!
sharkun0 chapter 14 . 1/8/2009
Wow. I I can't believe I didn't see the Celebi ending...but then, I'm used to 3rd and 4th generation pokemon, so I thought it was going to be somone else. *cough*Rayquaza*cough* There is just one thing I don't get, In Making My Way, why did Ash have the vision after he was attaacked by the Spearow? But seriously, I haven't read a better story on this website, and I can't do it justice so I will stop my pitiful attempts at praise.
BYoshi1993 chapter 14 . 9/13/2008
It's great, but it's sad. I really wish that you could have sent Ash/Mew with his body back to help the past Ash rather than have them both the same. That would have been a much better ending in my opinion, but I can't change what you wrote.

However, it was a good ending because it tied everything together and was very clever.


P.S. Could you do another story like this but not have Ash turn evil or something else that relates to Ash turning into a Mew because I really like those kinds of stories.
Jalros chapter 1 . 7/29/2008
even hitler didn't create some good, the current peace in europe can be traced to him
GirlWaterShaman chapter 1 . 2/16/2008
and once again, awesomeness.
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