Reviews for Adventure Between the Line
aegis chapter 15 . 3/21/2004
Keith had an ineffective heir? Did you mention who it was earlier? . I missed something here...
What song is Margarete singing?
I love Alice. She's just funny when she goes nuts. And I can tell I'm going to like Mrs. Elliot. _
Oh, one-shot Yuri/Arisu. Yay!
MikoNoNyte chapter 14 . 12/25/2003
thee, thy o, thee still need to check thy grammatical tense! (I'm not being a snidey bitch; it's like nails on a blackboard for me, that's all. shreak!)
:wipe, wipe, wipe:: You'd think I'da learned by now! Tryving (not Tyrving?) is a wisenheimer! Not to mention down right nosey! Poor Alice and Yuri! :D
Alice and the book, Alice and the Book, ALICE AND THE BOOK! o, thanks for the pure yeah i'm fine now really ... ... . That was so cute. No, not kawaii, I save that for total insanity! But I liked it. I'm still laughing - good thing I can laugh and type at the same time. That was wonderfull.
Uriel; I remember you saying you were bringing Uriel here. *sigh* nope, I'm not going on a search for Uriel... Aries did that to me with Remiel. Nope, not going there. Just bitching, that 's all. No more googles for me with you for a while. You keep me googling girl!
Allright. Keith is finally ready to get some answers, and so am I. Even trade, Neko; you write, I review. (Inbetween chappies of Shadow Killer that is ;P )
Kim
PS: MERRY CHRISTMAS LOKI!
MikoNoNyte chapter 13 . 12/25/2003
You changed names and chapter numbers mid stream. How did you do that?
"...Ancient Egyptian marked all over the place..." there goes the tea again! Damn it girl! It could have been Persian or maybe even your phone number. Maybe it's just the mood I'm in but that was funny. You DO know it wasn't ANCIENT to them? heheheh I had images of Egyptian kids roaming the streets and temples, marking the walls with heiroglyphic graffiti.
Having read this through twice I'm still confusled. Yup, even me. I've read stuff like this earlier in my life; also gone on more guided and unguided than you can shake a stick at. You're right on; and it's supposed to be confusing even when you're doing it. "I learned forgiveness" is such a great statement. It's also one of those line we all need to incorporate into our lives, not just as words but as an act.
Kim
MikoNoNyte chapter 12 . 12/25/2003
::wiping tea from computer screen:: Damn it girl! I will now add YOU to my "don't read and drink tea" club! "He was book smart but dumber than a box of rocks ..." You're in good company with that one (Darkness Angel, Kitty the Loser, AreisCelestial and a few others), and it's a great line!
Got very serious after that. You interpret Keith's upbringing differently than most. I am not sure what to make of it. And Malkovich/Margarete being wisked away ... by whom or by what?
Kim
MikoNoNyte chapter 11 . 12/25/2003
And again ffnet thinks I've reviewed chapter 10; I think it's their reorganizing thingie all wacked up!
Chapter 10:
Dreams, dreams are always strange. And when we write them we don't do them justice. Confusing, questioning dreams. (That's not a flaming statement, it's just facts.)
Varuna sorcery, like Varuna the Vedic sky god? Anyway, nice description of Lucia blasting Keith to sleep; but remember: if he's using a sword and she has to TOUCH him, she's dead. Sword is longer than arms. But good scene none-the-less. Magic battles are always tough to write; how the hell are we supposed to describe energies? I remember Zelazny described magic one time as coloured ribbons passing in the air. (from Madwand I believe)
Regarding your AN at the end: you are in serious need of help. Someone please call the little men in white coats. Oh, nevermind, they're over here; I'll send them right over!
:D
Chapter 11:
heheheheheheheheh ! Funnies wake up scene I've read in a long time. And a polaroid to Maggie's face by a very idiotic Yuri is wonderful. If that didn't get him shot then he WAS lucky!
Ahh, heaven is a cottage. Can I have one too? Can mine be by a babbling brook? Can I have ducks and sheeps too? *Kim ducks as Neko throws frying pan at her head* Ha! Missed me!
Sorry, totally random. But it's Chrismas and I'm reading/reviewing. You expect coherency?
You leave Keith comatose with Lucia lying beside him? What, are you nuts? I can think of lots of things to do with ... ops, never mind! :D
Kim
MikoNoNyte chapter 9 . 12/25/2003
Keithie is a fast mover! Wow! I like the your description of his speedy trip to the airport. We all know that vamps can really move but for some reason I really got the impression of speed. Good job. He even had time to question his motives while he flew through the airport lobby. heheh
Was this an ops? Tyrving became Tryving. And the damned thing is just as wordy with her as it is with Keith. I am surprised Keith hasn't shoved the stupid thing in a grate somewhere! But it does have a poetic touch that is amusing: "darkest man and holiest woman" and "a man that barely knows what the hell to say to you" ... yeah, a sword with a sharp tongue!
Haven't got anything else to say about this one. Except that I'm way behind if you wrote this while in school!
Kim
MikoNoNyte chapter 8 . 12/25/2003
for some reason thinks I've reviewed 7 (I checed and I didn't) so it won't let me so, here is both 7 and 8 for you:
Chapter 7:
"Why did she have to be cursed to wear her father's leftover clothes of her dead mother?" well, going naked CAN cause problems, ya know?
The rings inscribed with magical blood to forstall aging and dessication is a great idea! I don't believe I've seen that around; however since I don't read vampire stories I might have missed it ... it has the sound of "vampire fictional device" to it. But I like it here.
And I'm a bit confused: is it LOKI who was originally blonde?
Keith Valentine the Vampire Outlaw in all of Boston and Cape Cod ... okay, you watch too much TV my girl! :D But still no explanation as to WHY he is an outlaw. *grumble, grumble*
"That is nice of you, Mademoiselle Loki." Ops. don't you mean Lucia? I know, I know, shut up ... ;P
Chapter 8:
Okay, maybe it's me, but I think the cold fish that is Keith really overreacted here; granted Maggie got nosey and went through his things. I don't think it was in character, but I could be wrong. Keith never seems to be a "reactor" merely an "observer"; even in your piece he watches Malkovich, he watches everyone and everything and stays detatched emotionally.
One other "boob" if you can call it that: Albert (I like him, by the way) calls Keith "boy". Now Keith is how many years old? Isn't he a bit old to be called boy, except technically he's a 'boy' not a 'girl'?
I am being way too critical. I'm stopping that now, you don't need to hear it. :)
My favorite line: "...a grin that was fit for a jaguar."
Kim
MikoNoNyte chapter 6 . 12/21/2003
"a literal monster" ... *snort, cough* funy. Odd isn't it that it's his moods that she loves? Alice is most definately a masochist!
Lucrezia? Scary name. Too many Lucrezia's wandering around the world for me, I can tell ya.
Um, might I suggest whole heartedly that thee do research on the use both puissant and proper of thee, thou and thy? Methinks thy usage doth err. :)
Laying on the floor: you or your dog can lay a paper or object on the floor; otherwise it is lie. Easy way to remember that, huh?
Interesting; and I am not sure what to make of Albert Simon and his experimentation. Perhaps you meant it to be obscure.
PS: I'll try for some more around X-mas. ;)
MikoNoNyte chapter 5 . 12/21/2003
Outlaw? Outlaw? Um, that was never explained; is there going to be one?
I liked her reaction to the guy in the back room: BAM!BAM!BAM! Subtle isn't her middle name!
There is real pathos for Malkovich in this one. She wonders who she is, where she comes from, who her family was or if she even had one.
I liked this one best so far.
Good writing!
MikoNoNyte chapter 4 . 12/21/2003
Bet you thought I forgot you, huh? No. Just busy.
Wait, scarlet walls? Keith's place has scarlet walls? That's wierd. What landlord would allow scarlet walls? Oh. Unless he lives in an old brothel?
Keith and Tyrving living in a brothel. With Malkovich. ... ... _ ;; Wow, what a concept.
Uhm, I know Keith was trying to protect Miss Spy Genius before, but why would he not recognize her now? Or am I missing something?
Two more assination attempts on Yuri and Alice? Gr. Now I'm pissed. Who's messing with the Saviour? Who? Who?
As for the arsenal, and Yuri's thought: uhm, ... ... ... okay. Knowing Ms. M though, she'd probably find one. And I'm not telling you what I mean by that. You work on that one yourself, kiddo!
And back again with the arsenal. I vaguely remember reading about some hapless grunt trying to mail himself a jeep from someplace he was stationed. Wierd. Really strange what soldiers will do for fun. But Maggie and her arsenal ... heheh.
Interesting chapter yet again. And Alice's retropective of sleeping over at Margarete's and her idea of "wacky state and the lunatics with it" including a certain fusionist ... hahaha. Gotta love a sense of humor. And remind me next time I need a corpse removed to call Alice for the job.
Kim
Aberlemno chapter 14 . 11/14/2003
Honestly! Try-VING! Yer a disgrace! )

Tryving is BRILLIANT! The bit where Arisu loses it is very well done. All the dialogue and actions fit tgether perfectly and it's one of the best written things I've seen in a while. And then there's the Keith and Lucrezia bit. Way to kick, Albert. This story is getting even better with every update. So Keep Updating!
MikoNoNyte chapter 4 . 10/27/2003
Wait, scarlet walls? Keith's place has scarlet walls? That's wierd. What landlord would allow scarlet walls? Oh. Unless he lives in an old brothel?

Keith and Tyrving living in a brothel. With Malkovich. ... ... _ ;; Wow, what a concept.

Uhm, I know Keithie was trying to protect Miss Spy Genius before, but why would he not recognize her now? Or am I missing something? Ok, so she's filthy dirty. But she's too pretty usually to have dirt be a deciding factor.

Two more assination attempts on Yuri and Alice? Gr. Now I'm pissed. Who's messing with the Saviour? Who? Who?

As for the arsenal, and Yuri's thought: uhm, ... ... ... okay. Knowing Ms. M though, she'd probably find one. And I'm not telling you what I mean by that. You work on that one yourself, kiddo!

And back again with the arsenal. I vaguely remember reading about some hapless grunt trying to mail himself a jeep from someplace he was stationed. Wierd. Really strange what soldiers will do for fun. But Maggie and her arsenal ... heheh.

Interesting chapter yet again. And Alice's retrospective of sleeping over at Margarete's and her idea of "wacky state and the lunatics with it" including a certain fusionist ... hahaha. Gotta love a sense of humor. And remind me next time I need a corpse removed to call Alice for the job.

Kim
MikoNoNyte chapter 2 . 10/26/2003
Hm. Keith speaks to his sword? And it speaks back? That's a bit Nordic in feel. I know the Old Norse swordbearers spoke their blades, sung songs to them and about them; and often had names for them. But only in legends did they speak. And the damned thing is a Seer? Or is it just giving Keith a bad time?

I wonder what Malkovich would say or think if she knew a sword was telling her friend Keith to protect her? Protect me? You must be kidding! I'm Ms. Spy Genius! hehe.

What a sweet moment between Alice and Yuri. And Alice is a reporter? Ok; but what is Yuri? Or does he do his usual, "protect Alice"?

Interesting chapter, Neko.

Kim

PS: sorry about the reverse order of reviews. FFNet's little "go" button wasn't going. Go figure.
MikoNoNyte chapter 3 . 10/26/2003
Oh no! Malkovich has amnesia! And she's the one to warn Yuri & Alice? Ok, who's trying to kill the lovers? And for god's sake, why?

Are we there yet? Really, you say you've not been exposed to the wiles of tykes and you get this kind of line? Fibber! I think that one line, spoken by children everywhere, is the most annoying line in history. (That and GAME OVER, but that doesn't count!) Good touch, especially as it really annoyed Halley! :)

Zhuzhen and his lov ... ::sputter, sputter, cough!:: hehehehehehe. Demented woman!

And having dashing and debonair Keith transport Malkovich to his apartment, hit her head, twice: "well there went her IQ for the day". Great line! Funny image! Cracked me up! :D

Kim
MikoNoNyte chapter 1 . 10/25/2003
Hey there, it's me! Kim.

The Palm idea worked; you go with me everywhere. Is that spooky enough for you?

Idiotic question: is English your second language? I ask because some of the descriptions come out rather strange, almost like you are not fluent in the tongue ... but then again, English is the toughest language and even native speakers have trouble. I'll pass this for now.

Malk Vishnu? Vishnu, the blind God? okkay.

No wonder Keith didn't believe her! :) She's a different kind of spy here; an informant with a job in a bar as a singer. Interesting.

And a cliff hanger. Blood on thed door. Nasty.

Well, I'm hooked. I'll post reviews when I update the Palm ... how's that?

Kim
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