|Reviews for heartbeats fade (not love)|
| rebecca-in-blue chapter 1 . 2/22
I enjoyed this one-shot. "As I lay dying" stories can get very heavy and angsty, but this one never did; I think the brevity and sparse writing style help out there. I also really like the loose way Draco's thoughts move around, first scoffing "that heroic Harry Potter" and initially scoffing at his thoughts of Luna, before he gets drawn back to her. It feels more realistic that his final thoughts would be about falling in love with Luna, a random girl he barely knows, than something poignant or profound. My nitpick would be the "Another thought hit Draco..." chapter, which felt too telly; "the beginnings of a true romance" is awfully on-the-nose. Since he's dying, I think it would be better if Draco's thoughts were still a little nonsensical.
| CelestialRosegold chapter 1 . 1/12
Oh this was so beautiful and heartbreaking! I love the way you've depicted Luna through his eyes. You've brought everything across without even using any dialogue! I kept hoping for some kind of happy ending even though I knew that wouldn't happen...
I didn't see any spelling/grammar errors either. Good job!
| Sunset Whispers chapter 1 . 12/16/2017
This was utterly heartbreaking I hoped maybe he'd heal himself at least enough to then get treatment :( poor Draco.
| Cookies and Ink chapter 1 . 10/30/2017
Well this was absolutely tragic and heartbreaking.
It’s hard to do fics with no dialogue, to make them flow without that rapport or something to bounce off but you wrote this beautifully. There was a lyrical, vibrant nature too with the mention of colours and Draco drifting through his memories and impressions.
I kept hoping for a happy ending, for her to come and save him but by having him pass with so much left unfinished made this really poignant and moving.
| NeonDomino chapter 1 . 10/30/2017
So, I really was convinced that Luna would appear at the last moment and help Draco and it didn't happen!
I feel that one second he referred to thinking of Luna as polluting his last thoughts, which shows his dislike/disgust towards her but then so shortly after, his thoughts are that he loves her, which doesn't seem to fit with his earlier opinion. It seemed to happen so quickly.
I like that, at the end, he wasn't really mourning his own losses as considering what Luna would have in her future. He realised his own shortcomings too.
A well written story. I didn't spot any mistakes.
| Zivandre chapter 1 . 10/26/2017
Oh my, such sorrow! This is very well written and it captivated me from the start! I do wish that Draco lived to tell those three words to Luna, but alas, you have broken my heart in not doing so! I didn't notice and SPaG issues, and this was written very well, so great job!
| The Lady Rogue chapter 1 . 10/25/2017
I have to say I found this story to be a little bit confusing. Is Luna there with him in his final moments? Is he hallucinating, or is it merely hopeful thinking? I also don't see where the basic for Draco/Luna has come from, if this is entirely canon until that moment, apart from the time she spent in his cellar. If that's the case, I would have liked to have seen more backstory to this, so we can see how their relationship develops. I do like the idea that Draco is happy for Luna to go on living, and live well. A pure, romantic idea that shows Draco is truly beginning to see the error of his ways.
| DobbyRocksSocks chapter 1 . 10/25/2017
This is beautifully written. And also horrible, because what is that ending :O
Characterisation is gorgeous - of Draco in particular. I love the maturing of his thoughts, and his realisation of his love for Luna.
The line where he thinks that she'll have a future when he won't is stunning, but heartbreaking and why is everyone determined to make me cry today?
| The Crownless Queen chapter 1 . 10/25/2017
I love reading about Draco and Luna's relationship :p I have no idea why I like them so much together, but I think they'd make a cute couple :p
I loved Draco's death scene in this - the curse that hit him seemed very interesting, and I think you wrote his reactions to it perfectly :)
Nice work! :)
| Cheeky Slytherin Lass chapter 1 . 10/23/2017
Oh this was so sad omg. I really enjoyed Draco's change in perspective. From considering Luna as something that pollutes his thoughts to acknowledging that he loves her as he dies. So many feels.
It was particularly painful as he thought of Luna having a future. I love that you didn't make him bitter over that fact. That gave him an added maturity.
| MaryandMerlin chapter 1 . 10/22/2017
Why are everyone’s third fics so heartbreakingly feelsy! All I want is mountains and buckets of fluff. I loved the emphasis you put on the blood being pure as it hit the floor but I thought it was a bit quick for Draco to go from hating ‘loony lovegood’ to being in love with her perhaps he could have not hated her so much at the beginning? However all I wanted was for her to appear out of the chaos and work her special magic to make everything better! Why couldn’t she save him :(. Another beautifully written piece, well done.
| Emiliya Wolfe chapter 1 . 10/21/2017
Draco was very much in character here. I could imagine him loving Luna, as he was very alone in his last few years, and Luna and Myrtle seemed to be the only ones who really cared about him (except Narcissa). I love the way you have him reach an epiphany as he's dying, only holding on to what truly matters in the end.
The one thing that kind of took me out of the moment was a bit of flow disruption. Just little things, like the use of the passive voice instead of active at the start of the fic, and how the last paragraph is a bit disjointed from the rest. It would have been interesting to have Draco Catherine a glimpse of his reflection and see silver, instead of his eyes actually changing colour.
All in all this was a good fic!
| isaacswolfsbane chapter 1 . 10/21/2017
This was so sweet and so sad omg. I have a bit of a soft spot for Druna, especially when it's one-sided, and this was written so perfectly.
I think you captured Draco's thoughts perfectly. Of course his thoughts would go to the one thing he truly loved as he died, and of course he'd try to talk himself out of thinking them. The war between knowing he loves Luna and then also being unable to act on it in his mind was so well written and just so realistic.
And the end when he was thinking about how Luna deserved marriage and a life and family more than him just broke my heart.
Great job :)
| TrueBeliever831 chapter 1 . 10/19/2017
Well this was intense...and sad. I did enjoy it though. It was so well written. The ending line was very powerful. I do not read this pairing very often but, I think you pulled it off really well here. I always enjoying stories where Draco has come to his senses after the war and finds love... this was a whole different take on him realizing how wrong he was. It is sad he never got to apologize and live a better life. Very sad but touching by means of character growth. Great job.
| ipsa dixit chapter 1 . 10/18/2017
wowiwowo. my breath was actually taken away by this. this was so great and sad. i hate that he actually died; i though Luna would save him D: the switch of pov's at the end sort of thew me though, but the sentiment in that last paragraph was very nice and cute. great job!