|Reviews for Pieces|
| Suky chapter 8 . 10/14
This is the only Bae ending fanfic I read so I can't really compare it to others (except Better Then) but I love it so far. It's definitely weird even to read about Max and Chloe trying to have a normal life after what happened to them. But I do think there could be some more mistery later with all the nightmares/visions and Max seeing the doe.
I thought the "perfect" moment for a kiss would be on Christmas Eve but doing it on New Year's Eve is even better. And I love the "tension" between Chloe and Max throughout the chapters.
I don't think you'd even have to rewrite this fic, it's really good so far and really well written but if you do, I would suggest two things:
* When Chloe had the blue bull nightmare I was expecting her to immediately react to her present from Max. I think that for a nightmare, she would definitely remember it pretty well and that bull would've shocked her as soon as she saw it. But I'd still continue the same way where she keeps it etc.
* And try not to dwell too much on events from the game. I was almost put off from reading when I got to the part about "what we did in the game". I think stolen money is fine, it is crucial to this story but other details that don't really matter are best left to be filled out by the reader with memories from their own playthrough.
| Shad0wRed chapter 8 . 10/12
The ending of chapter 8 is perfect! I really like the slow build to their relationship and the fact that you skipped a couple months after the storm, because we've all read one too many accounts of what might happen there, and it allows you to skip forward to some happier moments right away.
I think these first 8 chapters would make a brilliant short fic on their own but of course I'm looking forward to more!
| Aesahethr chapter 8 . 10/6
Excellent chapter! I really love how the introspection leads to the conclusion and the new year kiss.
Rewriting will of course be your choice but it doesn't feel necessary to me right now. Though of course edition is always an important process (and you're wise to wait until it's all wrapped up) so if you want to do that, I'll just have to re-read the whole thing xD
| Sundayay chapter 8 . 10/6
Thank you very much, I also can't believe this is your first attempt on writing. I agree totally with Jossi55, your style is beautiful, the story is well paced and your characters believable. This is one of the most realistic and grounded attempts on the Pricefield ending I discovered so far in over half a year reading nearly everyday here. I love the slow burn of the story and that (as sick as it sounds) there is no miracolous recovery or rescue of Joyce and David so Chloe really is alone. I admit I'm still waiting on the Drama to strike again but thats just me. I hope you will keep writing because you have a gift and it would be a shame to not embrace it. So, thats enough for now.
Stay helly awesome and have a beautiful time
| Jossi55 chapter 8 . 10/6
This is seriously your first fanfic and you say you have no idea about writing? Dude, your writing and story is so extremely good, i cant believe this is your first attempt.
After 8 Chapters i can say, this is probably my favourite "classic" Bae Ending story. With classic Bae ending i mean, just the story about those 2 dealing with everything, without a greater plot or new problems and stuff. Just trying to live again. Right now your story fits perfectly with my thoughts how the story would continue after the Bae ending.
Living in a small village trying to recover. Chloe trying everything to help Max and realising Max is the one thing in her life that keeps her calm and helps her to be the person she truly is inside. Also Chloes thoughts in this chapter about her father, that was such a stronge scene. Overall i love your Chloe. You really manage to develope Chloe as a character and make her grow up. Starting by stuff like stop smoking, or getting a job.
And of course the romance, the kiss under the fireworks, its all so freaking cute :)
I am so excited to see where this story goes, and I really hope we see way more of this fic and LIS fics from you in general. You are such a great Author dude :)
| Aaron Leach chapter 8 . 10/6
| Aaron Leach chapter 7 . 10/1
| Jossi55 chapter 7 . 10/1
This story is so sweet, i love it :)
| Jossi55 chapter 5 . 9/29
I really love this story so far. You have a few details in it that makes me enjoy this story a lot more than other bae fics.
In many Bae fics they go straight to Seattle. I like that you let them stay in a small village, where they can work things out. Just the two of them, isolated from the rest of the world. I like that a lot. After the Bae ending in the game i never thought they would go straight to Maxs home. I always thought they would hide from the rest of the world at first.
Also just a few detail, that Chloe decides to stop smoking, because she dont want to risk her health, after Max saved her so many times. Its just a small thing, but it shows perfectly that Chloe got more mature and wants to be there for Max.
I like how you potrait the characters. You slowly develope them and you can see small hints for their Romance later. Slow burn is always a nice thing :D
Also i like your writing style, it is very emotional i like that. I hope we see more of you and this story. Right now i am always super happy if I see an update for this. Great job so far dude :)
| Aesahethr chapter 5 . 9/29
Wow already? what enthusiasm, don't burn yourself out xD (Not that I'm complaining about a new chapter, nope!)
I really loved the dialogue, the freaked-out parents were pretty realistic (they don't seem to be overly controlling but they must have been pushed on the verge of terror)
I also really like Max and Chloe's interactions and their reliance on each other.
I'll be happy to read more!
| Aesahethr chapter 4 . 9/28
Okay so this is pretty amazing. It's pretty new still, but I'm already a huge fan.
I liked the Chapter 1&2 working as a pair with each giving us one PoV of the same events, I loved chapter 3 and its description of a winder town and its people, I sort of reminded me of how the game uses Arcadia as its own character to induce nostalgia, except this time it's more about warmth and recovery.
And I really like this chapter as it gives a roadmap for the future and a greater insight in Chloe's mind. I really enjoyed the voice you give to both Max and Chloe and I hope we'll see more of their interactions and also of how the Christmas parental discussion go!
Thanks a lot for that fic that's quickly becoming one of my favourite.
| Jossi55 chapter 2 . 9/25
Love it :)
| Jossi55 chapter 1 . 9/21
Nice Story, i really liked your first chapter. Cant wait for more :)