|Reviews for Mated|
| beatrice2020 chapter 4 . 4/5
Cant wait for more!
| Guest chapter 4 . 3/9
| BlueRose chapter 4 . 1/26
I didn't like this chapter and will stop reading this story, as the writing style makes me think it's written by someone underage. The themes are also a little disturbing, Hermione is so young.
The fade in/ off stuff is really stops the flow of this story. Research better ways to change scenes. If your not including any details of the bedroom scenes then you could change this rating to T.
Gramma is also important for a story, all the great stories on this site are well written, consider getting someone to proof read your work.
| Smootsmokey chapter 4 . 1/9
| Smootsmokey chapter 3 . 12/19/2017
| elh4587 chapter 1 . 10/28/2017
I mean... this has potential it just seems written by someone very young. Just because someone is a virgin doesn't mean more likely to "fall pregnant" Also, the repetition of Hermione and Severus's names is a bit distracting for flow. I think cleaned up or revised it is a good idea
| Guest chapter 3 . 10/20/2017
Wow, this just got crappier.
| PiffyEQ chapter 3 . 10/20/2017
That punishment is so much better than being sent to Azkhaban. He so deserved it!
| Blue night fairy chapter 3 . 10/18/2017
| HGxSS Always chapter 2 . 10/4/2017
| PiffyEQ chapter 1 . 10/4/2017
Did Viktor receive any punishment for trying to rape Hermione and trying to bind her to him?
I hope someone hits him with an impotency spell! Bastard deserves it!
I am looking forward to reading more :)
| Blue night fairy chapter 1 . 9/25/2017
Interesting story, keep writing and update soon.
| HGxSS Always chapter 1 . 9/24/2017
| DarkStrom920 chapter 1 . 9/22/2017
I love the story so far keep it up :)
| worrywart chapter 1 . 9/22/2017
If English is not your first language, then I can understand the difficulty with the grammar in this story. If it is, then you need a beta. This story has a lot of potential, but you need some help. When you write dialogue, you give each speaker their own paragraph; that will help reduce the amount of very long paragraphs you have and make the entire story flow more easily and help the reader understand which character is speaking.
I find that reading my writing out loud is helpful in finding where I've used wrong words or missed words.
As I said, your story has potential, you just need to tidy it up a bit.