|Reviews for Try again?|
| Kminari chapter 30 . 6/30
The whole paragraph of "disease ward" seems out of context, it is assumed that this is a POV of someone (Nara) that should not have that knowledge (virus, bacteria, people, etc), the rest of the paragraphs are well according to the character, but not that one.
The second half of the chapter seems to be a third person or Mark speaking in the third person, and suddenly you change to the first one implying that you are talking about your race as warrior bunny ... you change enough POV in this chapter.
I agree with your statement that you do not know how to dialogue, although I love your story, your dialogues leave much to be desired, almost the whole story is explained as Mark recounted from his head what is happening, or what happened, as if a mental diary of what happened and the events.
Most of the story feels that you say "they did this" but you will not tell the details of what is happening (present), but only say that it has happened. But as I said, that does not always happen, but it's how the story feels, even so, I love it and I'll follow it until you finish it or give it up.
| Taylor9944 chapter 31 . 5/23
Really hoping that you continue don't forget about the cats I really look forward to what they can be magical adopted with to live for a long time. Also don't forget about the purpose of the cloning was to bring back extinct magical species so that they have ingredients to use for old and powerful rituals.
| KeinNiemand chapter 18 . 5/21
Your main character is to OP
also why does he hate the other houses 7ts like everyone in the other houses is stuck like before while all the hufflepuffs get OP
also occlumency is way to easy first years should not be able to do it so easily othervise it would not be such a rare ability
| Val'Hor chapter 31 . 5/14
Please update this story ! It would be a shame for it to end just like that. :(
| Guest chapter 31 . 4/22
great story I know they had a bit of reality jumping in Stargate SG1, Star Trek(ahhh spock with goatee) , Doctor Who
| Bakkughan chapter 29 . 4/17
Nobody deserves to get raped, but if she thought that dumbass plan was gonna work then she doesn't deserve to be Queen either.
| sadark chapter 31 . 4/6
I was listening UMBRELLA CORPORATION theme while i was reading this chapter, it was awesome XD
Good chapter i hope Mark goes to a world whrere he has to go all out in a fight. XD
| A Fawkes Named Kurama chapter 31 . 4/5
"SI who doesn't have plot armour." - Top Kek Award 2018
| idiotkiller007 chapter 1 . 4/5
good story, while i don't know gate universe, it was good to see army in action
| corrinlone77 chapter 31 . 4/3
Great story. Keep up the good work.
| Guest chapter 4 . 4/1
I'm having a hard time getting real enjoyment out of this story. Yeah, the idea, plot and your implementation deserve attention and that's what drew my initial interest, but it's difficult to lean back and enjoy when the quality of the writing distracts so much from that. Even the Microsoft Office spelling and grammar check could improve it quite a bit, but lets be honest, you probably need a decent proofreader to go through everything to make this more readable.
Thanks for writing. Even if, in the end, the technical quality of your writing leaves something to be desired, I appreciate the fact that you're trying and the number of favorites/follows clearly show you're doing something right :)
| doraemax chapter 31 . 3/31
Did they never tried to heal Neville's parents?
And... i wonder if Harry will end up working in Umbrella Corp.
Will some researcher discover a variant of the T-Virus/ Progenitor Virus? Though i supposed there will be no 'Resident Evil' because Mark does not approved of it.
Lastly, Thundercats-verse also have some cool techs.
| doraemax chapter 28 . 3/31
| doraemax chapter 4 . 3/30
Pug of Stardock is AWESOME! Up there with Raistlin Majere. There is no magic, indeed.
| Guest chapter 31 . 3/24
Try StarGate I remember there is galaxy Jumping Tech and Reality Mirrors Or Time Travel Tech in there and there is also Cosmic entity like Q from star not try Star Trek.