Reviews for The Fourth Council Race
Tony McNucklz chapter 28 . 11/20
That was quite a roller coaster. I think the only big gripe I had was the rout ethe US took seeming overly pessimistic. Otherwise I've vastly enjoyed this story, particularly the means by which humanity seeks to undermine, subvert, sabotage, and outright fight subjugation by the council. The geth arc was particularly intriguing in watching how a covert war played out through the lense of those that do or don't know.
Very well done story. looking forward to more.
Tony McNucklz chapter 18 . 11/20
A citadel version of the CDC and WHO. makes sense.
Tony McNucklz chapter 17 . 11/20
Nevermind. female author. question answered.
Tony McNucklz chapter 17 . 11/20
I can't help noticing that all of the positions of command except for williams are held by women, and he turned command over to a woman after randomly deciding to join the front lines for indeterminate reasons. Why would military statistics have changed so much that is now men that are underrepresented in command roles?
Tony McNucklz chapter 14 . 11/20
It seems more likepy you have the usual post-empire english inferiority complex with the US and thus needed to have Britain rise with the Alliance and America tear apart in a way that trashes canon. You used canon as a defense for why America resisted, but then pissed on canon when you turned it into a funhouse of horrors caricature of itself.
China's descent felt more genuine due to the inherent disconnection between their Heaven perspective being anathema to a larger federal parliament.
The US end felt like an obviius one when he walked out. I literally expected him to go the join and soft power america into having a controlling interest in the new alliance. an interplanetary government was always going to overshadow a fraction of a single planet eventually. meaning him walking out was always going to end badly for the US. something a 5 year old would predict. which meant you having him go that route was out of left field. i was expecting the america mexico canada block to form, have a controlling position in the alliance parliament, but then the civil war to weaken their position, but nonetheless to survive as part of the alliance, even if not as the primary power any more. this twisted burning of the USA you made happened felt inauthentic to me. it was just over the top. The biggest failure in your writing is in failing to account for Shangxi. the proof that xenos exist and worse are hostile murderers of civilians. that alone would have been enough of a rallying cry to unite both right and left ideologies to support the military power of the alliance. And that zeal could have been quite easily be directed to be part of a new federal democratic parliament with american heavy influence when it could be formed in the US original constitution's image. the public would have seen it as an expansion of US power rather than ceding it to outsiders.
America's disolution felt unnecessary and not in line with my own experiences. And the unity of an enemy to fight I maintain would have been enough to shoehorn public support into an interplanetary democratic organization.
Also, i personally support the electoral process when the states votes are legally mandated to follow that states popular vote. the point of thks system is to make sure that the voice of smaller states aren't disregarded because they don't have the numbers to matter. in a 1 person 1 vote system, the majority by definition rules the minority without the minorities ability to in any way resist. california, texas, new New York would decide for everyone else without a state like Vermont having any opinion that can matter. it will be the same in this alliance. smaller colonies and worlds have no power in this parliament.
Tony McNucklz chapter 10 . 11/19
I wasn't expecting Williams to still surrender here.
maxperseus130 chapter 28 . 11/17
Was that Oblivion reference at the end really necessary? That relationship was so fucked up, it's not even funny. Although I do suppose that it was a favorite saying of the originals, by the end it had become so twisted in meaning, it caused me horror just thinking about it. Love the story, hope life allows you to update soon!
maxperseus130 chapter 7 . 11/16
While there are indeed some grammatical errors, I find that your story is one of the best I've read in a long time. I can clearly feel your passion for millitary history in every word and the story is all the better for it. Although I do wish it would move at a faster pace, your knowledge and well thought out engagements make every chapter more than worth reading. I cannot wait to read the rest!
frdbrlw1 chapter 16 . 11/9
Well for some reason fanfiction cut my review on the last chapter in half,
So ill rewrite the rest here.
A Majority of The Alliances Fleet Command Structure were UNAS Officers .
All the above gives China and the UNAS a huge amount of political leverage they can bring to bear against India's Political Move.
The Systems Alliance has always been a supranational Parliamentary Government Structure with a Parliament and Elected Prime Minister as head of the Alliance. Each Nation still retains there own sovereignty.
This is how it states it in cannon material.
Without the U.S. and Chinas Funding the Alliance would Instantly Collapse. The Alliance blocking the U.S. and China from there Colonies would be a direct act of war. It would be akin to them blocking the UNAS
From accessing Hawaii, its a direct encroachment on there territory and the UNAS and China would instantly respond by declaring war on India and the other Countries in there Faction. While according to your scenario the UNAS somehow doesn’t have access to Ships, they can still invade any of those Countries that are Located on Earth as a counter.
The whole point of the Alliance when it was created was to Have a Government that represented the entirety of humanity, but that Individual Countries would still Have the right to there own Militaries.
There is no scenario where the United States or any other Large Country would completely surrender there Space Military Ability.
The Mars Treaty how you have it portrayed would have never been passed. In Cannon its stated the Systems Alliance before First Contact was a paper Tiger and no one took them seriously. It wasn't until after the first Contact War they actually held any power.
Next is how you Portray the United States Government, any President that did what your suggesting would have been impeached before it got that far.
Your suggesting he shut down news media and put his opposition in camps. No US Military Officer would follow orders that violate the very founding principles of the country. The right to free Speech, the right to liberty etc. With modern Internet it would be impossible for the president to sensor his opposition.
Any Civil War in the United States and China would devastate the world economy.
This was supposed to be a Juggernaut Alliance according to your stories description, instead you have nerfed the Alliance, and turned it into a Parody of the Ineffectual United Nations.
The Alliance had Access to Personal Kinetic Barriers and hardsuit Armor in the First Contact War they just weren't as good as citadel made ones, but in your story they don't.
frdbrlw1 chapter 15 . 11/9
So the United States, Mexico, and Canada Merged to Form The United North American States in 2096 and Promptly started a Civil War after the
Freedom First Secession Group Blew up the Statue of Liberty.
The UNAS then defeated the secession after a short war.
The Systems Alliance Ships, Military Equipment, and Personal where donated to the Systems Alliance by the United North American States
To form there Original Fleet. The United North American States were the ones that paid for majority of the Alliances Budget.
The above is cannon directly taken from codex entries and cerberus news updates.
A Majority of The Alliances Fleet Command Structure were UNAS, Chinese, and Russian.
All the above gives China and the UNAS a huge amount of political leverage they can bring to bear against India's Political Move.
The Systems Alliance has always been a supranational Parliamentary Government Structure with a
George Cristian810 chapter 28 . 10/31
Will the story it is interesting , i think that you give to much power to stg and shadow broker in human space . After all , we spied on each other for thousands of years , so i think that we should be capable to keep the information leak at a minimum .
Also jack harper motives and cerberus dont make any sense in your timeline .
He should use cerberus to advance humanity , not to fight against it like in the game .
phalanx132 chapter 7 . 10/26
A master sergeant is a staff NCO, master sergeant Adams should be first sergeant Adams
arewin chapter 28 . 10/6
Brilliant fic, can’t wait to see where humanity goes from here
Mreagle789 chapter 28 . 9/30
Loving this story read it all as fast as I could, feels much more grounded in reality than a lot of other stories. Really interested in how this is going to turn out! Keep up the good work!
Chronus1326 chapter 17 . 9/19
I'm having a second full read through and I'm enjoying it. I feel you kinda abuse authors notes; you should strive to pack that data into a chapter proper, or do away with it.
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