Love it and seriously wish it was longer or had a sequel

So, I got about halfway through the first chapter before my sense of deja vu solidified into the certainty that I've read this fic before. That's no surprise, since TriWiz do-overs are a guilty pleasure of mine.

Overall, I liked the direction of the plot. I love a good take-charge!Harry. One of the things that always bugged me about his canon self was that he never seemed invested in his own health, safety, or education, even after years of being at Hogwarts and being subjected to one dead-defying situation after another. As I've grown older, my frustration with him has only increased, even though I know that he was conditioned to react in certain ways.

That said, this story has a LOT of unnecessary exposition that takes away from the story, such as our return to health class in chapter two. It's quite smart, but it doesn't add anything to the overarching plot - and it could have been summed up in two or three paragraphs, instead. Same with a lot of the studying scenes. I caught myself skimming more than actually reading, which should have been a sign for me to stop. Instead, I made it all the way to the end...which ended up being a horribly unsatisfying cliffhanger.

Okay, I get leaving room for a sequel (provided it actually gets written, which doesn't seem to be the case here), but this is nuts. After 100k words and quite a lot of build-up, there was zero payoff. I'm a little miffed about that. It doesn't even need much: a short epilogue, or even just a handful of paragraphs showing some of the chaos happening in Britain after Harry gets the hell of of dodge would have been a decent way to end things, and still left a nice opening for the next steps in the dance.

A great Story!

I loved your story! The only thing that I wished to see, was dumbledores reaction to everything, in his point of view.

I really, REALLY want to see the Sevond Oart ir at LEAST an epilogue to this story! _

Will the department of mysteries keep Voldemort locked up like they did with the Nighmare Man in the fic by the same name?

Will a sympathiser or idiot break him free and firce dumbledire to collect the horcruxes himself and bemoan he didn't kill Harry when he had the chance and have an epic adventure trying? (In his quixotic, well-meaning way, where he hate having to kill, feels guilty, but still believe it MUST be done.)

The prophecy said Harry COULD kill Voldie. It also said that neither could live as long as the other one survived. (Which could mean many things)

But it did NOT say that Harry was the ONLY one who could kill him. (Vanquish, not kill. Very different thing with many different interpretations, again. Prophecies ARE wooly, just like McG said.)

I really hope there will be an epilogue at least. _

Oh, and small suggestion for your writer's block; Outline the fic before writing it.

If you want to make your life simple AND tmyour story good, try this methode;

Find a simple version of the classical Hero's Journey. (Youtube has a ton of videos. Try Brandom McNulty for writing advice in general.)

Write each part of said Hero's Journey Arc on a piece of paper.

Write under each second what YOUR Harry would do in each part.

Now you have an putlibe of a story! With an end!

All you have to do after that is alter it to fit your personal vision for the story... and write it. _

I'm a Plotter and not a Prancer (writing terms, google it), so I always write my stories like;

1. Starting Idea
2. Collect ideas in an Evernote note.
3. Outline the story in rough stokes, making sure I have a How it starts and How it ends down.
4. Split ideas into Years, based on the HO canon.
5. Split the year into sections based on canon, AND CHANGE what happens based on MY Harry's personality.
6. Start a chapter.
7. Roughly outline what will happen in the chapter.
8. Split that into paragraphs/scenes.
9. Roughly outline what happens in each scene.
10. Actually write said scene.

Aside from the last point, each step takes about 1-10 min. Easy and quick, and xan be dones while sitting on the loo if you want. Lol

Point is; Find what suits you and your style. And don't be afraid of writing stories that end up abandoned. Most fanfics are, even the best fanfics I've ever read are.

But if you want to avoid writing blocks, use the ideas above. Try everything, then later stick with what works.

And good luck. I hope to read more from you. _

Loved this story….

I have always found it odd that in some parts of the 'East', sex has been considered part of the 'Sacred', while in the 'West' it is demonized. All humans (except perhaps One, if you of one of those faiths) are the product of acts of sex.
I can agree that when sex (or gender if you prefer) is used as a reason for discrimination or oppression, then it is the discrimination or oppression that is indecent. When rape is used as an instrument of oppression or war, then that IMO is obscene!

After a second reading, I still say that an epilogue, showing the aftermath of Harry’s departure, and what Dumbles reaction to it, should have been a brilliant aspect to cover. The effects would have been magnificent if nothing else…

It is obvious that you did a good deal of research for this. Well done. I appreciate stories that are well thought out.

Rico

As the location for this story is Scotland and the main characters are almost entirely British they would use the quote properly. I'ts not 'Lead on McDuff', the proper saying of the line comes from the quoteI throw my warlike shield. Lay on, Macduff, And damned be him that first cries “Hold! Enough!”

Great ending.

A fascinating chapter

I loved the other school and would enjoy seeing him attend.

Great job of dialog and characters to convey plot points. I also appreciated the physical descriptions of Switzerland since I can’t travel anymore

He has grown up.

Now, let’s see if he can escape.

Great chapter.

Lots of healthful and helpful advice

This is great.

Well-thought out. Realistic responses.

Great to see Harry stand up for himself without falling into the usual traps