Overall the story is okay, the ending flops pretty hard though turning what has a great backbone of a story into kind of a mess. The story up until then was full of little inconsistencies but it at least was a decent story. The last 16 or so chapters feel like rushed closure to move on to something else... The whole fate thing feels like a b.s forced ending and pulling a deus ex machina no matter how much you 'always wanted to literally do it' doesn't make it a good ending just a cheap one. It's like they sat down with a dart board of 'things I can do to ruin my stories ending' and took shots at it until it came up with this.

Ford Corolla - ford doesn’t make Corollas, Toyota does.

The story kind of feels like the author is always teetering on the edge of making their main character too strong or useless and wildly shifting the strength of other characters to maintain being a threat. One moment they are this powerful magic user able to handle most threats the next they make them run around like a moron and despite repeatedly saying 'precogs don't work on me' make the precog dodge all their ranged attacks like they were dancing between raindrops. It's got the framework of a good story but the inconsistency ruins it for me.

I know a lot of people aren't happy with this arc but personally I think you've done it brilliantly. Nothing so far seems contrived, it makes me sad and angry.. I love the fact you make me emotional with your stories.

I have to apologise. I'm a long time reader of your works but have yet to comment. Thank you for writing stories that get me emotionally invested in them. You really have the writers touch and continue to amaze me.

Excellent... I read the Forever Mage trilogy ages ago, only to find out you've expanded it! Thanks ALOT... XD

Lisa got her first organism? Lol. I think your spell check program failed on orgasm. xD

So they commit a federal crime against Harry and say, too bad, he's already judged by the public opinion... But that's thanks to THEM!

Harry should use his magic to make the henna tattoos permanent, would be better barely visible than with normal black ink. Less chance of being taken for a nazi with all those runes...

Holy shit, you killed marissa, made Harry impulsive, understandable, and doomed his future just because you didn't want him in the wards? I'm just... wow

but I guess, whatever, it is what it is

Yeah, I guessed it, seen a lot of stories that used that archetype, sadly most focus on the angst and drama and pain and never get past it

This really is an AU, you had coil recruit both the travelers and lisa wayy early , and made the undersiders earlier too

and honestly, I can already see how the thing with noelle will play out, sadly

tbh, all this angst and then the Taylor social just kinda lost motivation to read, like sure, you have good writing, but that doesn't help when you've read tens, bordering on close to a hundred, of similar stories

I just hope the PRT agents don't fuck her, or her family, over because of the "villains" she was in contact with.

It would be neat if the three of them were still fluorescent, puke-green colored, even though Coil shut down that timeline since it supposedly marked their souls (even though it would be retroactively). I find it interesting that Coil was able to watch that timeline play out even though he wasn't physically there considering that the other ones that he picked and chose from before I believe he was following himself.

Wow, this fic is just . . . purgatory. For any positive thing that happens to Harry, there's an immediate cascade of negative things to counteract it. He gives himself superpowers? Suddenly he decides to use blasting curses over stunners and kills a bunch of people because of that strange decision. His girlfriend decides to confide in him for the first time ever and is catching feelings? He's nowhere to be found, for pretty much the first time in their acquaintance, so she dies. He does something pretty much unilaterally good? He gets captured immediately and can't escape due to various contrived reasons. As far as problem resolution and general progress goes, the entire story is moving backwards, at best. It's been a wholly unsatisfying read up to this point, and now Contessa-ex-machina is front and center.

It's just too much shit piled on top of other shit, enveloping that one shining kernel of happiness that Harry found before he got hit by the same truck (aka the PRT) for the fourth day in a row and dropped it in the mountain of shit. I could go into specific examples, believe you me—but I'd rather go do something else that won't involve steadily compounding frustration, so I'll leave it here.