Reviews for Struck By Lightning
Radio D. Alastor chapter 5 . 4/11
I wish that for once in this kind of fics, percy would say what aphrodite told him
cring cring chapter 6 . 4/7
aw man, was hoping they'd all leave alive
CrimpyTomato591 chapter 30 . 3/5
I’ll be honest, I’m at a loss for words after finishing this story.

Because of that this review may end up being a bit too stream-of-consciousness for my liking, but I figure writing something to express my thoughts is better than not leaving a review at all.

I guess I’ll start with a bit of a personal note. I’ve been going through a phase recently reading tons of PJO stories, and if I’m being honest it’s been a bit disappointing. The vast majority of them were just… not great. Whether it be poor writing, drastically out-of-character protagonists, or a simple lack of originality, I’ve become increasingly depressed by the lack of quality in the things I’ve read. Of the perhaps eighteen 80000 word stories I’ve picked up, only 2 have been good enough for me to consider favoriting/reviewing.

That being said, however, this story blew my expectations completely out of the water, and I’m so unbelievably glad I decided to pick it up. It did just about everything right, and then some. Where to even begin?

Firstly, I just wanted to express how impressed I am with the creative liberties you took here. ‘Retelling’ stories, regardless of fandom, are a massive coin toss, specifically with respect to originality. More often than not they end up playing it safe, taking an interesting premise or twist on events and wasting it with a refusal to break too far away from canon. The end result ends up being a copy-paste of plot points with the occasional meaningful addition, and you can only read so many of those before you start to go a bit crazy.

But then come stories like this - ones that decide to diverge from the source material and fully commit to that divergence, eventually reaching a conclusion that is almost unrecognizable from canon. I’m honestly in awe of how different the narrative ended up being, and yet all of the new plotpoints felt fresh and well-integrated.

Having Percy spend the Labyrinth arc infiltrating the Andromeda and having the ‘final’ battle take place without any of the Manhattan buildup, for example, made the story feel distinct from pretty much everything else I’ve read. And that’s not even mentioning the whole Ancient Greece segment, which was also an original addition that didn’t feel too heavy-handed.

And then the ending, having them completely erase Greek mythology from the world. I was not expecting that in the slightest, and I have to admit the audacity of such a giant climax still has me reeling. I have so much respect for you taking such a big leap there, and I think it really made the ending feel complete and satisfying. This is one of the only stories I’ve finished as of late where I feel essentially no need for more - and that is an incredible feat in of itself. I think what I enjoy most about is how it represents a "happy" ending that couldn't really exist otherwise - all other stories end with the slightly uneasy future of the characters still being demigods who will be hunted by monsters, even without another Great Prophecy looming over their heads. This is the only instance I've seen where they can have a truly normal future ahead of them, and there's something delightfully refreshing about that fact.

None of that even mentions the smaller details that really rounded out the experience. For example, I really appreciated how you reinterpreted the canonical prophecies, allowing them to contribute to your own custom flow of events. It takes a lot of ingenuity to tweak the seemingly static meanings of each line and twist them to fit your own narrative, and the ways in which you did so were super well done. Or then there was the characterization of the Olympians - having the immortal beings be forced to come to terms with their mortality was super interesting to watch, with Poseidon and Zeus choosing to be more caring towards their children. While those sorts of interactions would seem out-of-character in any other circumstances, the justification here made them feel authentic and genuine. Honestly, I can’t even find things to complain about in the little things, which is a rarity for me as a reader. The story being so well-constructed was really just the cherry on top of an already incredibly positive experience.

I could go on and on, but I think I’ll end with what I usually say on works I decide to leave a review for: thank you for writing this story. I know I’m just a stranger on the internet, and that my words of approval probably mean quite little, but I had an absolute blast reading through it and I’m really glad I gave it a shot. You obviously put a great deal of love into its creation, and I have so much respect for what you’ve accomplished on a purely technical level. Suffice to say you blew my expectations out of the water, and should be proud of what you’ve created here.

Thank you for proving to me that there are still PJO stories out there worth reading, and for providing me entertainment on a lazy, rainy Sunday.

Best,
~Tomato
clephne chapter 26 . 12/23/2023
It's such a shame, the first twenty chapters were really good and then you had to change the whole story, without any reason for the changes to come, really a shame...
The Shadow Jedi chapter 30 . 12/10/2023
First off I wanna say that you accomplished making a satisfying, bittersweet, and sad ending where all the characters grew up and left each other.

Not many writers managed to do that.

This whole story feels like one big journey and to see Percy and Thaila all grown up with children is a beautiful way to end it.

But I just don't know if Percy would just destroy all of Greek mythology and let Chiron die. Camp Half-Blood was pretty much his second home that was near and dear to his heart.

But, nonetheless, it's a pretty great story and you should be proud of it.
The Shadow Jedi chapter 29 . 12/10/2023
I kinda dislike Grover's death here

We barely see him in the story and his death is just so out of left field and kinda like a "be sad" moment instead of a genuinely sad death
The Shadow Jedi chapter 28 . 11/11/2023
Pretty cool battle I must say.

You definitely did your research on Greek monsters and the writing still has the Percy Jackson flare
The Shadow Jedi chapter 27 . 11/5/2023
The Poseidon stuff could be more emotional if we spent more time with him because a lot of this stuff feels out of nowhere
The Shadow Jedi chapter 26 . 11/5/2023
3 things
1) This is the end of Arc 2?! So much has happened in this story that the end of Arc 2 should've been Percy going through time back in the ancient Greece era. This chapter should've been the end of Arc 3.
2) A lot of dialogue felt too cliche and generic. A lot of "x is dead and you'll never see them again!" and "this is just the beginning!"
3) Poseidon's death came WAY out of nowhere and kinda half-assed

All that said I do like the story
The Shadow Jedi chapter 25 . 11/3/2023
Just so much heavy stuff

The time loop with Riptide, King Perseus being a dick, and all the pain that Percy had to suffer through to become even more determined
The Shadow Jedi chapter 24 . 10/27/2023
I thought that you made Percy a little bit too dumb and unaware in this chapter but then I realized he's usually like this
The Shadow Jedi chapter 23 . 10/24/2023
The way you wrote Alceaus and the random man's deaths in this chapter is terrific

Sad and tragic yet they lived earned journeys
The Shadow Jedi chapter 22 . 10/10/2023
It's interesting to see Percy in historic Greek history where everything is dark and messed up with no black-and-white morality in sight
zombieshane05 chapter 8 . 8/21/2023
...so that has to be Kronos, ouranos is dead
The Dark Sapphire chapter 30 . 6/30/2023
This was THE ending of all time. Truly a moment in history.

Moral of the story, if Percy and Thalia get together, everyone dies. The end.
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