|Reviews for Forging Steel within Snow|
| Shadow of a Memory chapter 1 . 11/10
Miyuverse Shirou stories are so hard to come by its criminal. I have high hopes for this one.
| ArcherMcMuffin chapter 1 . 11/3
| Vladimir-spider chapter 1 . 11/1
Okay, I can get behind this idea. While in the original Fate/Stay Night I prefer Shirou with Saber, Miyuverse Shirou and Sakura are actually good together.
So I really like this idea! Waiting for the next chapter!
| Neema Amiry chapter 1 . 10/8
| PasiveNox chapter 1 . 10/7
It’s great:):):) so great
| Darkjaden chapter 1 . 10/7
I enjoy a happy beginning for the less used Shiro.
| ArcherShirou chapter 1 . 10/7
What do we have here?
best Shirou, best Sakura, Miyu and all of them together as a family.
... why did not anyone write this before?
| hnh058513 chapter 1 . 10/7
so she has the swords of durga aka passionlips claws
| Dhaturas chapter 1 . 10/7
It feels good to have my story mentioned in another hehe... sorry, that was just my ego showing. That aside, I'm glad if my story helped even a little in your story's conception.
Your story, itself though. I'm not sure what was the point of showing the first scene, since it was basically an exact retelling of the manga, though we get to hear Shirou's thoughts (which was pretty well written, had the right amount of angst to be expected from Miyuverse!Shirou). You said in the summary that Shirou was able to save Sakura from Shinji but we don't actually get to see it... which is really weird. It's like someone told me I'm getting a cake, and in the end they decided not to give it to me at the very last moment.
The second scene with Shirou and Sakura now on Remnant felt kind of off. I'm not sure if I can raise any substantial points to assert my claim, but the dialogue felt kind of forced, and maybe even a little out of character. Maybe it's because in the first scene, Shirou was so angsty that it built a dissonance with his character in the next scene. Like one minute, "Ah, I've lost everything", and then next "Ah, I have a great girlfriend, friends and my little sister who are all powerful and don't need me worrying about". It just all felt... nah, I won't say it. That'd be too mean.
If Shirou and Sakura have all the class cards and a holy grail vessel (Miyu) with them, they're pretty much unstoppable, huh. Wonder how that will pan out in the future.
Also, for a minute there, I thought you would introduce Jaune. Since you used the names John and Joan. But oh well...
Also, maybe you should consider using a line-break to divide the first and second scenes? The sudden transition between the two was confusing.
All the best to your writing.
| ARSLOTHES chapter 1 . 10/6
looking forward to the next chapter
| The Rupture chapter 1 . 10/6
Well the fire power shirou have now is more than enough for any grim opponent, and he has the Gilgamesh class card, if there's an opposition that he's normal ability can't handle.
| Rionline chapter 1 . 10/6
Nice start. So Archer Shirou and Rider Sakura. Can't wait to see beacon. Is Shirou will be recruited by Ozpin?
| duskrider chapter 1 . 10/6
Nice very nice start to the story.
| Kinunatzs The Eternal chapter 1 . 10/6
So this is an interesting branch off from kaleido-verse and what are Sakura's powers? anyway nice start and more please
| A Whimsical Seishin chapter 1 . 10/6
Interesting so far. Keep up the good work!