|Reviews for Fall of the Lightning Count|
| Synthesis chapter 4 . 2/12
Once again, I believe my favorite portion in the chapter was at the opening, and it was enjoyable to watch White torturously grapple with what was going with the restoration of the Gundam. though I'm a little dubious about Noin being oblivious to White, or just too trusting, or perhaps actually apathetic to his feelings.
Your explanation for the industrial obstacles to producing Gundams was quite interesting (and different than my own). The Jim Jones metaphor was unexpected as well, and I got a laugh out of some of the irreverent observations about the military culture in OZ, so those are welcomed (even if they are rather esoteric for a GW fanfic). I'm looking forward to where this goes. You may wish to explain certain contractions, like "Squadcom" for squadron commander, but that's just window dressing I suppose.
| humo146 chapter 4 . 2/4
DAMM GOOD CHAPTER
| edboy4926 chapter 4 . 2/4
Too bad that your character could not have stream the confrontation live on the Internet.
The world’s reaction would have been epic.
| edboy4926 chapter 3 . 1/9
Now, to clarify something, Marcus' sister, was the body found?
Second, did he by any chance steal the technical data of Unit 1 before leaving? It would fit the ancient saying regarding battles: fight fire with fire. In this case, Marcus builds his own Gundam group.
| Synthesis chapter 3 . 1/9
So, I won't lie, my favorite part of this chapter was far and away the beginning-especially White ruminating how a sycophantic engineer like gets in Treize's eye but White doesn't. I also enjoyed the internal debate about retiring the Leo (probably a better word than "Cancel", which implies the Leo wasn't deployed, as you note) and the anger at Marshal Noventa's seemingly-unilateral to disarm. I particularly like to speculate about what this might be setting up in the next appearance (an area of the storyline I could've done better in my own writing, in retrospect). The scenes with Lizz were a bit awkward, her fangirling out like that, but they did serve a pretty clear purpose shortly thereafter. It's tricky to be going back and forth in time like that, but see how you like to keep the narrative sort of fluid like that, so I hope it works out. The scene with Noin was pretty heavy stuff, appropriately enough. I'm looking forward to the next chapter.
| edboy4926 chapter 2 . 10/24/2017
| edboy4926 chapter 1 . 10/24/2017
At first when I saw the alert I ignored it since it said that it’s an angst story and well I live in PR and we already have enough of that around.
But now, decided to give it a chance.
It’s a good intro.
| humo146 chapter 1 . 10/17/2017