Reviews for The Eyes
NefariaBlack chapter 1 . 3/12
Holy *insert profanity*!
Oh my god, Maisie, where do I even start... This is so gloriously dark, and screwed up, and utterly beautiful. I like the poetic feeling to this, the tempo of the sentences. I never thought of Petunia as one of the goodie guys but this is just wicked! You convey the haunting perfectly, and her escalation of violence feels completely justified, which is both scary and brilliant. This idea that her jealousy could become a ghost of sorts is amazing, and it being the driving force of her abuse towards Harry fits perfectly into the canon character.
And the ending, did that do me in! You broke my heart with that line about Harry knowing to keep quiet even when there's pain and suffering. Then he becomes part of the haunting too, and she can't really fight it anymore and oh gods, was this good.
Spotless really. Disturbing, I'll give you that, but absolutely amazing.
Great job!
hiddenhibernian chapter 1 . 2/8
It's an inspired idea – why would Snape be the only one affected by seeing Lily's eyes in Harry's? It's a chilling story, the short sentences and one line paragraphs sets it up very well. I think you could make the three- or four word sentences stand out more by cutting down on them slightly, to really ram down the final scene. The very last paragraph is brilliant – some justice for Harry at last... It's hard to believe you only needed less than five hundred words for that, well done!
PerpetuallyTired chapter 1 . 2/1
Extremely horrifying. Excellent job.
Lamia of the Dark chapter 1 . 1/3
Ooh, a horror story.

Petunia is haunted by the eyes, huh...

*sigh* Child abuse is not the answer, Petunia.

I thought poor Harry was going to be running around eyeless, but nope. Petunia was too far gone by that point and she just straight up killed the poor kid.

Of course she's going to more haunted after that, not less... not that she would understand that, since she is clearly out of her mind in this fic.

The style with almost every sentence being its own paragraph works well to convey the creepy tone of the piece.

I didn't spot any typos or grammar issues.
CelestialRosegold chapter 1 . 12/25/2017
Oh gosh i was NOT expecting it to turn that way! I love the descent into madness that you've shown for Tuney, and that slight undercurrent of guilt and remorse throughout. I love this explanation for why she mistreated Harry as well, and I've never read anything like that before. The ending what quite a shocker, despite the angst of the whole thing. Wow!
AlwaysPadfoot chapter 1 . 12/4/2017
Okay so in my head I have reviewed this because I swear I’ve read this creepy as hell story like three times now. Petunia is psychotic in this story and really like how you’ve focused on the used of the eyes in this especially as it’s a common comment in the books and movies. This definitely was indicative of the horror genre without a doubt. Good job. Ami.
The Lady Rogue chapter 1 . 11/29/2017
Wow, this was completely chilling. You can really see how Petunia's grown madder and madder, fuelled by her guilt, and only made worse by her actions. Poor Harry. My heart breaks for him, as it does every time I think of him growing up in her house hold. I thought this was very well written, and the repetition very much made this story. Excellent work, well done.
konstantina732 chapter 1 . 11/29/2017
Oh God! That was quite dark. But it was very well writen. I liked how to make it seem a little bit like a poem, it really added to the story. Also, I loved the way you presented the story. All those small, blunt sentences matched very well Petunia's feelings (or lack there of). I am impressed at how you managed to present such a dark theme in such a nice way.
NaginiTheHorcrux chapter 1 . 11/29/2017
Creepy, but amazing. I love the format of this, it really goes well with the piece. I can just see that, Petunia slowly going insane, doing anything she could to reverse her path to normalness. It's a brilliant idea, that Petunia always hated Harry for his eyes, similar to Lily's. The ending tied it off beautifully.
The Lady Arturia chapter 1 . 11/28/2017
Wow, after the Lucius cross-dressing story this was a complete 180. I loved it.

Nothing was too explicit or described greatly but there was still that underlying horror and the terrifying chills of something bad. If you tie some of the first scenes back to canon, it did give insight into why Petunia did what she did, but you took it one step further and it was bone-chilling.

I like that despite everything the eyes still haunted her. It reminded me of that scene from Macbeth where Lady Macbeth says, "Here's the smell of the blood still: all the perfumes of Arabia will not sweeten this little hand."

This was really great. :)
TheRottenJas chapter 1 . 11/27/2017
I loved this. The repetition, the poem style writing, the blunt action words, and the flow all drove it home for me. Horror and Angst are my jam and you wrote this so wonderfully. Petunia's psychological nightmare was spot on and I loved how it all built up until she finally snapped and killed him. I really liked how you didn't overly describe things and how you kept it simple because it gave the story more of an eery feeling while reading it. I liked the concept of Petunia hating Harry's eyes because they reminded her of Lily and all those memories she probably remembered when she saw Harry's eyes. The only thing I see troubling here is the lack of warnings. I love dark content, but other people might not be so keen on stumbling on child character death. Other than that, great writing! :)
MaryandMerlin chapter 1 . 11/23/2017
Well, Maisie this was quite heavy. Your warning tags were all accurate on fanfaves but I think it's maybe something you should put in the description or at the top just in case. I enjoyed the rhythmic, almost poetry feeling of this piece. They were like stanzas of a poem and I think to be able to get that across in such a repetitive way is good.
I mean I'm not gonna lie it freaked me out. I think the subject was fairly inappropriate - especially to submit to a reviewing competition because I'm sure we've got some kids in the comp.
However, I can't fault you for writing it well. The feeling of Petunia's insanity was well described and translated as a reader I could feel how unhinged she was.
Well written, but maybe not appropriate for a competition like this.
The Crownless Queen chapter 1 . 11/22/2017
Wow, psychotic Petunia for the win (cwl) This was very disturbing, and I loved the way you wrote it. The repetitions of "Lily's eyes/Harry's eyes" and the short sentences gave this an almost poetic kind of feeling, and it worked very well to picture Petunia's emotions. I love the idea that she hated Harry for reminding her of her sister, and that final murder scene was chilling.
Nice work! :)
Cheers!
SecretFruits chapter 1 . 11/12/2017
Well...my gosh. This is...well wow, this was intense. And in the best way possible. I adore this piece. The repetition sets the scene perfectly. Your use of short sentences also helps to really set the tone. Each section you can see Petunia's madness grow and grow - I felt like I was inside both her and Harry, feeling their pain. And finally, the imagery in this piece is great. Just such a great job.
obscurialdefenseclub chapter 1 . 11/3/2017
HOLY HELL
I'm a I did NOT expect it to be that dark! My poor heart...anyways, again with the flow. I love your flow. And your word choice immersed me into the story, which sorta wasn't good when I reached the end, if you know what I mean. I liked how you portrayed Petunia slowly going mad and everything. This was really short and had a particular style, so I didn't spot any SPaG. I don't have much concrit besides the fact that my heart hurts. Well done!:3
-Ana
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