Reviews for Heart Gold Hell: Pokemon Creepypasta
Idontknow chapter 1 . 4/2/2019
Meh. That's all I can say. Meh. It's boring, lame, and other. Where's the horror even?
DiamondGaurdian1 chapter 1 . 3/6/2018
It was ok I'm not a fan of scary things but I like to say this to every good writer.
"Be Kind and Sprinkle that stuff everywhere" on top I hope Karma finds you.
Farla chapter 1 . 10/31/2017
[I've been an avid Pokemon fan for the past few years. My first ever game to do with the franchise was the gold version on the Nintendo GameBoy.]

The inconsistency of your capitalization is painful.

[Jhoto]

You're a huge fan but also you can't spell the region?

[I always found it funny that the mountain is called 'Mount Silver,' despite it appearing in Gold, Silver, Crystal, Heart Gold and Soul Silver. I think that they should have changed the name for each version, to make it more fitting. ]

Why? To make it impossible for anyone to talk about it without rattling off every possible name? It's a snow-capped mountain. That's what the name comes from.

[For a few seconds, I thought that Nintendo had decided to make Mount Silver a bit scarier as it does supposedly house Red's ghost.]

So have you ever actually played these games or do you know them solely through third-hand creepypasta? You realize Red's shown up alive in multiple games since then.

["Pokemon are worthless. I was a trainer for one reason, and that was to live in harmony with Pokemon, but they betrayed me. They killed me. They ripped me apart mercilessly and tossed me around like a doll. I will not tolerate Pokemon to exist any longer with me still here. Fight me and send me out of this disgrace of a world."

The battle then proceeded to start. Red's sprite slid into the screen on the opposite side of my trainer sprite. He had no eyes, like his picture displayed with the static.

I sent out my Ho-oh and waited for Red to send a Pokemon out, but he didn't do anything. I was confused for a few seconds before I remembered what he said. 'I was a trainer for one reason, and that was to live in harmony with Pokemon, but they betrayed me. They killed me. They ripped me apart mercilessly and tossed me around like a doll.'

It suddenly made sense as to why Red didn't send out a Pokemon. All of his Pokemon had betrayed him, turning against him and killing him. That was the reason why Red died in the first place. It wasn't a lack of food or hypothermia that killed him as everyone speculated. His team slaughtered him mercilessly.]

Look, I get that you are super proud of yourself for writing those sentences, but you don't need to repeat them over and over. Also, might've been a good idea for your character to have other thoughts than "wow how super awesome those words are and what a good update to existing creepypasta they are!" like, say, wondering why this would be in a game or at least why his pokemon would randomly turn on him and only him.

Semicolons should only ever be used when connecting two complete sentences and even then almost never.
Disbanded Crow chapter 1 . 10/27/2017
(I kinda like to write the reviews for stories I read as I go through them)

Well, I've never read a creepypasta on this site before, and I'm curious, so why not? Let's jump in!

[I always found it funny that the mountain is called 'Mount Silver', despite it appearing in Gold, Silver, Crystal, Heart Gold and Soul Silver. I think that they should have changed the name for each version...] Yeah, I see your point there. Then again, it's the same mountain in all those games. Perhaps they should have named it something completely different, or perhaps in each game the location could be different.

[I thought that Nintendo had decided to make Mount Silver a bit scarier as it does supposedly house Red's ghost.] Say what now? It's not mentioned anywhere that he's a ghost at all. He's just on Mount Silver to train. We see him later in Alola in Sun and Moon, which takes place years after Gold/Silver/Crystal/HeartGold/SoulSilver. He's definitely not dead, or a ghost.

[It was dark inside; I needed flash.] Nope, ya don't need the move Flash, it's not dark in the remakes. Unless this spooky version is different.

[But now, I know that was something else entirely wrong with Mount silver, as you no longer needed flash to navigate it like in Gold.] Oh. Well then, I guess that explains that. I just researched Mount Silver in HeartGold for no reason. :P

[I was a trainer for one reason, and that was to live...] (...) [...before I remembered what he said. 'I was a trainer for one reason, and that was to live...] (...) [I will not tolerate Pokemon to exist any longer...] (...) [Red has said, 'I will not tolerate Pokemon to exist any longer...] Having Red say these things and then repeating the entire quote the next paragraph, and then the paragraph after, is needless. I just read what Red said, I don't need a refresher so soon afterwards.

[But, there's something I didn't mention. Now that I'm dead...] I mean, he was already dead. He was a ghost, or something.

[...but before he left, he turned to my team that was standing beside me for some reason.] Hmm, I wonder what your team is. all I know is that you have a Ho-Oh.

["Pokemon are worthless. I was a trainer for one reason...] Aww, but why would Gold feel that way? He literally saw Red brainwash his Pokémon. Also, why is he saying literally the exact same thing that Red had? So many questions...

In any case, good job! Maybe I'll check out your YouTube video where you narrate it. Cheers!