|Reviews for Red|
| A-Chan chapter 1 . 11/9/2017
I meant to leave a review sooner (as in right after you posted this - you really made my morning when I saw this and screamed when I realized it was the pairing I thought it was) but since I'm doing a fic recs list, I can finally actually review this.
I have to say, I dunno what inspired you to write this but I enjoyed what you wrote.
I really love the rhythm of this, how it's sort of like Kuwabara's train of thought, how it's sorta the same pace of rapid thoughts and how he's trying to convince himself it's not true, but somehow it switches, just as fast as thoughts and emotion can.
I love the word choices. Stuff like "roar of surprise" or "the swell of yes, yes"; your style is lyrical and poetic, I like it. And the description of "mismatched palms", the description of both hands being different - "one calloused, one bound in cloth", is just so good and so spot on. That word economy, seriously.
I love this running theme of Yukina being described and associated with the cold while Hiei is like the fire, and how every time the idea of "red" shifts towards Hiei, something happens and changes between them. And then when the truth is faced - Hiei stopping to make sure Kuwabara is consenting (which was wonderful thank you) and when Kuwabara realizes that he's wanted him and that Yukina was really a substitute for Hiei (which wow, I haven't seen written in many fics but it's a thought that is interesting to explore in the context of their relationship).
That entire paragraph of Hiei's "internal struggle", of all the emotions he has, and that line "for once not a fight aimed at him" IT IS SO WONDERFUL and then you just kill me when you see Hiei really making his mind and then Hiei calling him by his first name.
I just, pretty much died, because I dunno if he telepathically projected that as he spoke his name out loud or if it's Kuwabara listening to the way Hiei called him by his first name in his mind, and I just... I love it. And then when he calls him by his name again... Just fuck, so wonderful. (I love when he calls him by his first name in fic but only when it feels appropriate and sometimes earned - in this situation I feel it is, otherwise it's usually OOC and done poorly in fic and that's just, so so wrong, because being able to call someone's first name is not only an intimate act but can be such a huge character development thing.)
God, the second to last line, just...kills me. "The diminutive body shuddering against him, inside him, giving him everything, becoming vulnerable to him for the very first time."
And interestingly... it's the same for Kuwabara to Hiei. The moment the made the move, the moment he told him to not stop (and consenting to making the plunge with him) and then when they both let go, it just...
Your style is lovely and there's a sense of rhythm and a sensual quality to it, especially when they finally have sex. There's sensation there but also this sense of emotion that's born from the situation and you captured it perfectly. It's hard for me to rec stories with sex in it because it's really either "well written stories that have sex" (but the sex is supposed to be titillating according to the author but the author did not do that job or do it well) or it's fic that is like "a and b and c" even if it's covered in nicer words. There's a push and a pull, a give and a take, and there's emotional exchange (even if it's just in reaction to all the sensory things happening and not an emotionally intimate connection) so it's really refreshing to read it here. And for a pairing I enjoy also.
Thank you for writing it! I've already put it in my favorites but if you ever get inspired again to write some more, I'd be willing to read it.
| Gavr3el chapter 1 . 10/31/2017
So much love this...
It's written beautifully...erotic and I feel still very much in character.
Thanks for sharing this.