Reviews for Destiny Ahead
Milliecake chapter 11 . 4/1/2003
What a great adventure story, a definite for the kids amongst us. You certainly have talent and a great passion for writing, so don't let anything put you off.

And don't give up on this tale either young lady! It may not be for everyone, we all have our preferences, but you'll be disappointing those who have become attached to your characters and are waiting to see how they continue to develope over later chapters.

So keep up the good work and I look forward to reading more from you.
Illyria04 chapter 11 . 3/31/2003
how dare you?

HOW COULD U?

I HATE U

I HATE U!

I HATE U!

I HATE U!

I HATE U!

I HATE U!

I HATE U!

I HATE U!

U R A HORRIBLE, CRUEL BITCH!

just messin wit ya!

u r mean though!

L&P DRY ROCKS!

SO DO GOOD CHARLOTTE AND BUFFY AND ANGEL!

JOSS WHEDON IS GOD!
EC's Cake Eater 22 chapter 11 . 3/31/2003
Hey,

I really liked it! I'm trying to get my 16th chapter done. Thanks again by the way for letting me use Lela! I hope you have another good story! KUTGW!
Saena chapter 10 . 3/31/2003
An OK chapter (Chapter 10). I have to admit, Lyn sounds like Faith more than Faith sounds like Faith. But you're doing your best and it's turning out well. I'll read chapter 11 in a bit.
RockAngel1 chapter 10 . 3/30/2003
Great chapter
Illyria04 chapter 10 . 3/30/2003
totally cool

plz keep goin!
Coldplaysocean chapter 10 . 3/30/2003
Hey again,

lol I loved the new chap!

I felt really bad for conner(i know hes a bratlol) but i still felt bad for him.

I also can relate to lela and the whole, boy thing! But once again(clap,clap)"My friends..Aother excellent and captivating story!

I love it! More, more and more!

Lauren
James chapter 10 . 3/30/2003
I think you should get rid of Lyn, because you already have to many characters in your story to begin with. I think this story would be a lot better if you left it to one person trying to make sense of the Angel Dynamic and not trying to cram in a bunch. I agree with gidget said about the characters being way out of character. That's ok, because this is an AU fic and who knows what Connor would be like if he came to live with Angel at 14, and who knows how faith would interact with the gang if she was living there full time, HOWEVER you because you are making them so different from the characters on the show you need to give them a back round story. How did Connor come to live with his dad at 14? Is Holts dead? Why isn't faith in Sunnydale? Ect.. I really don't like the character of Kelvin or Lyn I think they are both very one dimensional. And Kelvin shouldn't have been able to save Connor from Vampires. Lela and Connor are the ones with super strength, so they should be the ones winning the fights. That is not to say Kelvin and Lyn can't be heros to, but not in the fighting way.

You make up really good plots and have really good grammar(way better than I'll ever have), I just think you need to work on-for when writing fan fiction, writing characters the way they are, not the way you wish they would be.
gidgetgirl chapter 10 . 3/30/2003
Okay, I like the Mary Sue references, but ironically enough, every time someone is mean to *poor, little Lela,* she gets more Mary-Sue-ish... see, you're making her the underdog, which does not make sense in this story. As the slayer,she is the only one of the kids who should be able to slay demons. Kelving and Lyn should not be able to, unless they've been training since they were born, in which case, they would still be weaker than Lela. So everytime you do something that inspires pity of any sort for Lela, which is every chapter, it makes me want to scream MARY SUE... ironically enough, having another character call her mary sue makes her more mary sue-ish. Just to make sure I wasn't being unfair, I did some research on the exact definition of a mary-sue: first, some resemblance to the author, especially if the first name starts with the same initial (lela, latasha), the same ethnicity, the same family structure, etc. This is shaky ground to begin with, even if the similarities are only skin deep. Then, one of the main established characters falls for her, even if it is out of character (Connor). You have yet to write connor in character in this entire story. Pity or love is inspired towad the Mary Sue through the way other characters treat her. Faith (out of character entirely) and Lyn (seems created for the sole purpose of making people like Lela more) treat Lela badly, even though none of it makes much sense to me. Furthermore, Mary Sue's are often either (a) vamps or (b) the next slayer called. The thing is, I see that so many people like this story, and I really feel likes it's unfair of me to read it and review it when I really don't, so I'm just going to leave you with this. You're a good writer, and you're getting better all the time. Watch characterization of established characters, though, because everyone feels just a bit off, and the center of that off-age is the way they interact with Lela... Connor interacting with lela should still be Connor, Faith still faith, angel still angel, etc. Also, if you're establishing this story within the buffy/angelverse, you have to play by certain rules... Fourteen year olds aren't just suddenly able to slay demons, unless, perhaps (as in buffy season three) they've been helping out for a couple of years and they work in big groups. If it took Xander, Oz, Willow, and Cordelia all to manage to slay one vamp after they've been fighting for two years, how is it that Lyn can do it after not seeing Lela for a couple of months? How can Kelvin do it if he can't have the innate ability (only the slayer has the innate ability to kill vamps). If it took Gunn, a plan, and multiple gang members to take down a couple of vamps when they've been doing it their whole lives, why can Kelvin do it without ever being trained in fighting? I think I can see where the Kelvin thing is coming from, you're crossing genres into the Charmedverse, where demon and witch hunters can inherit their powers, but the way Buffy/Angel is set up, that's just not the case. I gues, in a way, Lela is a reverse Mary Sue, because a typical Mary Sue would be good at everything and hence inspire love... you have lela as bad at everything and hence inspires love... the main problem is that in order to show lela as bad at everything, you make everyone around her good at these things, even though it is completely illogical and out of canon. Lela seems to me like the manifestation of the typical teenage inferiority complex, and by having several characters shower her with love, you establish a nice little 'see, people love me' thing with her, and this is interesting, BUT it does not make sense that (a) she is so bad at slaying, (b) everyone else is so good at it, (c) that the Angel people have come to love her so easily, or (d) that Faith and Lyn treat her so badly. It's not that what you're doing with each of these characters is bad, it's that the way you're doing it puts the characters secondary to your reasons for having them as characters. My suggestions for the future are as follows. First, you've done little enough with Lyn that you have room to make her a real character, and not just a plot device. Spend a little time writing a short scene that is just lyn, that focuses on her thoughts and feelings. Secondly, do NOT have lyn move in with the Angel gang... that would just push believability past its limits. Next, slow down. Half of the reason this fic seems so unbelievable to me is that you are rushing it. See, you have Lyn and Kelvin and Lela coming into their abilities at the exact same time, and this makes it come off as very contrived. If you did more of the Willow thing, where Willow slowly comes into her magical ability, starting off with none and six years later having a lot, that would seem more natural. My third reccommendation is that you stop making Connor seem like a regular teenager. Connor is not and will never be a regular teenager, and trying to make him one requires that you write him out of character. Maybe, if you take it very slowly, you can normalize him little by little as you go, but there's no way he's suddenly a normal teenager overnight. Also, I think it would improve the story if you had more interaction between the show's current characters. See, you wrote some Gunn/Angel interaction really well... why? because you know how Gunn and Angel interact. If you write more of these types of scenes, hopefully, it will be easier for you to write interactions between your original characters and the show's characters. Good luck, and please know that I really do think you have talent and the fact that I don't want to read this any more has more to do with the age group you're targetting than anything else. Have fun writing this, I'm sure there are people who will enjoy it.
Lorelai Anastasia chapter 9 . 3/30/2003
Oh, this was great! IGWA- I love it! Now UPDATE!
Coldplaysocean chapter 5 . 3/29/2003
Hey,

Loved the chap. Seriously it was very interesting.

The whole mystery "indian" friend was great! dont worry your doing as great job! Love Faiths attitude you have it downpat!

Keep up the excellent work gurl!11
Reve Brulant chapter 9 . 3/29/2003
Hey,

Good job! Look for Lela in my 16th chapter and thanks for letting me use her. I really like the whole Lela and Connor thing too! KUTGW!
Saena chapter 9 . 3/29/2003
I don't think the English-speaking, mutated birds are lame at all- I thought they were cool. I'm a little skeptical about this Lyn thing...for some reason, she doesn't interest me as much as Lela and, of course, Kelvin, who is STILL my favorite! But this won't stop me from reading. Keep going.
Illyria04 chapter 9 . 3/29/2003
more

more

more

more

more

more

more

more

i want more

i want more

does this boost ure confidence enough?

plz rite more!1
COLDPLAYSOCEAN chapter 8 . 3/28/2003
Heey! I love the story, I love the love-hate relationship between Lela and Faith! I just have one question. Is anything going to happen between Angel and Faith? I would love to see that rel. grow!
63 | Page 1 2 3 4 .. Last Next »