|Reviews for Up Yours Dumbles|
| firedawg chapter 10 . 2/22/2019
Great story and thoroughly enjoyed it.
| Smargden chapter 9 . 2/22/2019
Good to see, Liked your story very much
and how could you find a so remote place -
do you have polarbears in your garden - LoL.
| angelscatie chapter 10 . 2/22/2019
Great story. Very cute
| RonRR chapter 2 . 2/22/2019
From chapter 00:
"I wanted to put them on the cottage where we were staying but the cottage was owned by Albus and he wouldn't allow them to be added."
From this chapter:
"Potter Cottage, Godrics Hollow."
If they owned there own cottage in Godrics Holow, why were they staying in Dumbledore's instead? It makes no sense.
Thank you for writing,
| PhoenixDK1984 chapter 2 . 2/22/2019
Where would there be a winery in Monaco? The country is small...
| digbygreen chapter 10 . 2/22/2019
Well done, Monbade. Well done.
| serenityselena chapter 10 . 2/22/2019
a wonderful ending for a fantastic story...
loved reading it :)
| Smutley Do-Wrong chapter 3 . 2/22/2019
So many fics with such tropes, I was unsure if that, or read this before.
The Daphne strip show a recall trigger.
I predict/recall will soon need suspend disbelief of no hanky panky, with sexual teasing for FIFTEEN MONTHS, cohabitation, and SHARING BED & BATH. Basically crazy long 15 month blue ball tease foreplay gag.
The ALASKA name drop, big memory helper, quick skip and skim to chap 9, fairly certain probably SAME not another fic, in recalling Harry goes Rambo Dirty Harry NRA survivalist/(prepper? new face for old term, with 30 yrs of survivalist Armageddon for next year, next year, next...).
Recalling author watched some show, so of course my critique long ago, proven as not ridiculous over kill, over hunting, even if do some simple MATH, like how much meat and fish to eat, perday, how much does math say. If not feeding 100 sled dogs, or zoo of big cat meat eaters, way too much, I recall concluding, long ago, when read it.
Aah, pretty sure read it, too far, quit it near the end (c9 maybe). Update had me treating as unread before.
PS. For future stories. Noticed not far from this chapter, (think not in it(c3) ) the trope of how OF COURSE orphan Harry coulda shoulda woulda (or IS in some fanfics) been raised alongside his betrothed.
Authors who argue that, or have Harry 'raised' like siblings, alongside his betrothed. Should look up, the Westermarck Effect. Similar associated tropics, about sexualIty and genetics, and psychology, etcetera, could provide fodder for building more depth into some fanfictions, particularly, considering all the fanfic comments about pureblood
'inbreeding'. Why not research a bit, for some facts and scientific opinion. General belief/conclusions are fairly off from somewhat substantiated 'facts'.
| Vampireking40 chapter 9 . 2/22/2019
I wanted this review on the last chapter but it would not post as I may have already reviewed through it shows it was a new chapter just updated.
The only thing I don't understand from this last chapter is how Tracey Davis fits into the family. I have to day this was a great story especially how Harry took down Voldermort. So out of curiosity what happen to Fudge and the Toad woman.
| gaschalk chapter 7 . 2/22/2019
There are a few spelling mistake in the 7th chapter but over all a very enjoyable story. Is this a rewrite? I know I have read it before.
| Smutley Do-Wrong chapter 2 . 2/22/2019
I'll just pick one specific passage, that could be modified during any edit of this chapter.
"Well it seems a marriage contract has been enacted for Daphne…"
"WHAT!" the usually quiet girl snapped out in surprise.
"DAPHNE!" Angela snapped, "Decorum."
The beautiful blond blushed and replied, "Sorry, Mother."
Considering shock of the reveal, a forced marriage etcetera.
Your Angela has a huge stick up her ass.
"Decorum": IMO, for any future "Purebloods and manners scenes, in your possible future stories". Perhaps such families might have FORMAL meals, during the week, dinner, sometimes a luncheon or tea. As a kind of etiquette PRACTICE, for future formal occasions (attending or hosting parties, dinners, Balls, etcetera) but fornot most regular family meals, informal FAMILY interaction, loosen up some?
The baby crying, MAYBE Daphne a little apologetic could remain. But really, her life turned upside down, vs a baby startled and fussing, and she's reprimanded for "Decorum".
Blush there: a common habit of us amateurs, grab for the "blush brush". My advice, if you decide it is a blush, and fits, would it improve it by adding some details, describe it (color, shape, intensity, visible at what locations)? If sexual situation(even just flirting or bantering), maybe add POV of opposite sex person's thoughts, of where that blush might also be found, that is covered by clothing.
Especially: THINK if blush can be replaced by OTHER physical descriptions. Eg. Facial expressions, body language and movements.
Blush brush grab and go can be worse.
I've even read past week, examples like this: in conversation, a grown man's reaction, a blush, which was ill fitting considering the level of emotion(anger, embarrassment, etcetera) for the conversation in the scene, would be MINOR.
| arata7kasuga chapter 4 . 2/22/2019
They could just have the elfs pop them over to wherever they need to go until they can apparate ?
| Rebmul chapter 7 . 2/21/2019
why is this showing up as updated
| N7SPARTAN-Commander-Jay117 chapter 10 . 2/21/2019
| george17 chapter 1 . 2/21/2019
If I were Harry, I'd be pretty pissed off at his bitch of a mother. She foresaw all of this but did nothing to help him prior to this?