This is a very good story, and I can't wait to see where you take it!

This story looks really good and for the pairing I say Blake because as darknaim says he’d be used to fanus or Ruby because I think there’d look good together

I personally think this has potential. There are some things of course. Like how Percy is more powerful than canon. I can't add this as negative because I don't know what kind of storyline you will use from just one chapter.

As pairings go I would say my first choice would be Weiss. Her know it all personality and pride is similar to Annabeth . She acts cold because of her family and it's standing. So if I get to the point I think Percy's easygoing and warm personality would help her act more like herself. Also Weiss could balance the Chaotic personality of Percy. I gotta say tho at first they would fight a lot. P.S. Weiss was interested in Neptune. PercyNeptune

Second would be Blake. Since Percy's BFF is a Grover I don't think he would act different against faunus, would probably act against such acts. This would be endearing to Blake.

I really liked the story, I’ve never watched(?) RWBY before but this story made me consider it!

Wow truly a good first chapter. I'm very much impressed. You've left the door open for many things to develop throughout the story.

However, a couple issues, none of them very big, but still things that could be pointed out and changed. Also when I critique, I have no ill will towards you and your story. I simply want you to become the best writer you can be.

First things first, Riptide is about three feet long and not four (Not really a big mistake but if you'd like to have it be longer in this story I don't see why not).

Secondly, Percy does not have such amazing geo-kinetic abilities. Last time he tried to shake the earth he made Mount Saint Helens explode and we know how much of a disaster that was. (But if it's for the sake of the story, I have no problem with it and it seems pretty bad ass).

Lastly, I'm a little confused on the timeline of the story. You have the last thing Percy remembering is him leading the charge against Gaea on the slopes of Mount Olympus but then also say the last time Percy had fought this many enemies was a year ago in Tartarus. If I remember correctly the time gap between Percy and Annabeth falling into Tartarus was one or two weeks top, not a year. However, you did note that things would be the same in canon up until House of Hades and things switched up so that could be the answer to my question.

Overall though, this is an excellent story and you show great promise as a writer. I'm excited to see what you have in store. As a fellow writer of Percy Jackson/RWBY crossover fanfiction, I'm more than willing to help should you catch writer's block or just need someone to bounce ideas off of.

Anyways cheers mate! Keep up the good work!

I like it, write again in next chapter.

This is a really good start to the story. I especially like how you wrote the fight scene, it was in depth enough to feel properly fleshed out but fast paced enough that it was still awesome. i also like how Percy's powers ade used, actually doing lots of smaller and subtler things (like the little water scythe) and then actually tiring himself out with those rock spires. It sets him up well to improce through the story while still making it beliveable. The amount of stories i've seen where he would have flattened everything in a tidalwave is too damn high.

The grammar is pretty good overall, there were really just a few minor bits, the "Percy's" at the end was one (basically they were so minor thats the only one i remember). As for the writing all i can say is to decide on a perspective for the story. Are you writing in first person from viewpoints which you dictate, or third person covering everything you want to cover? I wouldn't say anyone of them is better, they give different info and insight to a situation. I'm mainly saying this because it felt like i was reading a lot of "Percy this", but hopefully that will just sort itself out when more characters are present. I also would have had trouble figuring out ways to refer to him i think.

Overall though really good start and i'm interested to see more. I really want to see how Percy being in remnant might alter the story, obviously events outside of his hands are still going to occur, but how they're dealt with and the aftermath of those events on story progression are going to be different. It can be hard getting ideas for original arcs so shout out to the readers too if you want ideas. (in case you couldn't tell i really like crossovers with a big impact on the main story xD).

Dark Star

WOW. I must say, I'm impressed. The story has a good flow to it, the fight scene was very well-written, and your descriptiveness is incredible, especially given that this is your first story. I look forward to seeing this continue.

Great start. Probably one of the best Percy Jackson RWBY crossovers I've read. Just don't start giving him blessings from other gods and stuff will make him to OP. Weiss for the win.

i like the way the story is going keep up the good work

I would like to see more of this story.