|Reviews for Fifty Shades of Gryffindor|
| Hogwarts Official chapter 11 . 10/11
Your Feedback/Grading for Assignment #3
Grade: 20/20 - O (Outstanding)
Feedback: Percy is a character not written about much because of his canon persona, but I think you did remarkable with him. I think this storyline was well written, and you kept him very much in canon. In fact, I can see him easily being fooled by a dark artifact due to his desire for respect. This story was original, with the use of a dark artifact. I have to wonder who sent it, though. The interactions between Percy and everyone else was well written. It flowed well, from dialogue to prose. There was no bumpy transitions, and it came to a realistic end, even though the story itself is left open-ended. You wrote for the task, it was in depth, and original. The plot was great, with no holes, even though we don't know who sent the ring. The story was enjoyable, and I'd definitely rec it. I didn't spot any SPaG mistakes. You followed the rules of posting, so you get an extra point.
| Hogwarts Official chapter 10 . 9/7
Your Feedback/Grading for Assignment #2
Examiner - Sammy
Grade - 19/20
Feedback - "Character isn't a character we see much of in canon, so you have a lot of freedom with him, and you brought him to life. You made him stand out as original, and never saw a portrayal quite like yours, so kudos for that. This story was definitely an original take on the same old soulmate troupe. The interactions between characters were great, especially young Charlie with his parents. The flow was overall wonderful. Not too fast and not too slow, with a good mix of smooth prose and realistic dialogue. You wrote for the task, and it was original, but I don't know if I consider it in depth. The plot was great. The story was enjoyable. It's going on my favorites, and I'd definitely rec it. I didn't spot any SPaG errors. You get an extra point for following the rules of posting."
| yellow 14 chapter 11 . 8/19
That's pretty dark. Keep updating
| you and me forevermore chapter 3 . 8/6
| you and me forevermore chapter 5 . 8/6
yayy this was sooo good!
| you and me forevermore chapter 7 . 8/6
lol i loved this linny!
| you and me forevermore chapter 8 . 8/6
oh my god how dare you i'm crying inside this is too angstyy
| you and me forevermore chapter 10 . 8/5
yay i loved this!
| yellow 14 chapter 9 . 3/10
This is pretty cute. Keep writing
| Maisie Malfoy chapter 8 . 3/4
Is this second person I see? I love second person fics so much! They're just so much more real, like you're the one experiencing this.
One thing: When you want your work to have these things - you need a space on both sides.
While the scene changes were a bit plentiful, I think they just added to George's mindset after the war and I'm okay with it. But in the future, keep that in mind.
Fred is the only name we see, and that's beautiful. If I could make hearts work in a review, I would, but I will settle for the &hearts.
| from-the-mountain-to-the ocean chapter 8 . 3/2
And I am sobbing. Alana recommended this to me, but I never expected...this. (She has a bad habit of reccing amazingly heartbreaking fics. That or she writes them...)
So, I am (once again) in awe of your writing. You are definitely a wonderful member of Lumos! (If you would like to join another writing forum [totally optional, by the way; no pressure at all], go to the list of Alana's forums and click on the one that says "Fanfiction All Book Prompts". You would make an amazing addition!)
Because Alana has somehow been deleted from the community staff, I will be the one adding this to it...
| galaxies in her eyes chapter 8 . 3/2
Rainyyyyy...how dare you write this amazing story and completely tear my heart to shreds. I loved the tense in this, and you wrote it so well!
This is going in a community. *nods head* Yup, going in a community of stories that everyone needs to read. Uh-huh. This deserves it!
| DobbyRocksSocks chapter 8 . 2/26
Oh dear lord but what is this! You just murdered my feels, and then stamped on them just to make sure they were dead. My god.
So... This is stunning. And hearbreaking. But in a stunning way. Post war George is always hell on the heart, but Christ on a cracker Rainy, this is something else.
I loved the repetition of 'The End'. It tied it all together with a pretty ribbon, and the beginning and end both tie in beautifully as well.
Omg that last section. You've left me a bit speechless with this to be honest - I'm sat staring gormlessly at my screen, because my brain is just screaming WHHHHHYYYYYY.
But the writing is beautiful. Very well written, hun.
| Zivandre chapter 8 . 2/25
Oh my. Thank you. You've just destroyed my feels, ripped them out, and stomped on them. This is so heartbreakingly beautiful, and just poor George. I just want to grab him and hug the life out of him. The only problem I have with this is you putting 'Enjoy!' up there. I am not enjoying this feeling that you have created. Oh poor George. You are a monster.
This was still so beautiful and sad, and oh my. Really, you did a fantastic job on this!
| The Crownless Queen chapter 8 . 2/25
well it's fine i clearly didn't need my heart anyway
Gods, that was gorgeous. Just, all the feels. All of them. At once. I loved this so much there are no words. The idea that George equals the end of the world with Fred dying is somehow perfect and heart-wrenchingly painful, and that sweet flashback at the beginning was actually the perfect set-up scene.
I loved that this was second person pov too. I keep meaning to write/read more of it, but good ones are always so hard to find it's annoying :/ But this was great.
And just, all the 'the end is' was such a great thing. The repetition just hammered the pain in and it was glorious - it didn't feel like a repetition at all, even.
One small thing I'd not though, is that your scene breaks really aren't necessary in like, 95% of the cases, and they break up your flow more than anything. I think just paragraph breaks for all the 'the end is' instead of 'X' would have worked better.
But this was genuinely amazing anyway :)