Reviews for Overlord: The Exiled
Curclark chapter 47 . 11/18/2023
Ugh. I hate when MC lose power. I'm tired of this war. Ainz deserves to be punished. The beastmen should have been finished around chapter 20. I love this story! Hate the pacing.
Curclark chapter 37 . 11/17/2023
I really like this story. Though it has been dragging the last few chapters. The male MC has been stuck in the Empire for what feels like forever. I'm ready for him to be done recruiting. I'm actually tired of the beast man war. With two dragons, they should just find the leadership and eliminate them. When the enemy is regrouping hit the hard and fast to push them out of the country. Also, I really don't want to see chapters dedicated to Aniz. Just occasional meetings between leaders to update the male MC what he has been up to and brief updates on the threatening thoughts from the NPCs towards him. I haven't read the novels, so I'm not sure if the dragons were suspicious of Aniz this early into the story, but it seems kinda fast for them to already be suspicious of the OCs. I hope the male MC can keep Aniz and his NPCs in check. I thought Aniz would realize he needs to reign them in after he saw the farm, but then he never brings it up to the NPCs. Also, having one NPC kill another was the whole thing he was trying to prevent after he mind control, but then he goes and suggests it himself. Ugh. He is just a shit character. It's not a fault of yours, obviously. You didn't create him. Though, I doubt he would have punished Esdeath. I'm not sure where you are going with all that. The male MC is going to be furious. Which might be why you forced this situation. I take back my comment about hoping his wife dies. He is going to need all the help he can get once he starts needing to put down the NpCs of Aniz. Maybe he can force Aniz to use a race changing artifact to avoid killing his friend. Once he is human, he might be easier to manage. He may blame being undead for letting all the evil happen. I definitely disagree, though. His spinelessness is why he allows so much evil to occur. Instead of telling the NPCs he doesn't want world domination, he goes with it because he is afraid they'll turn on him.
Curclark chapter 7 . 11/16/2023
I don't know if I'm remembering this correctly, but wasn't it stated in the novels that the seas in the new world are not salt water?
Curclark chapter 6 . 11/16/2023
I wish you'd reply to comments through private messages to the commenter, but I suppose it is your prerogative to answer however you please. So far, I'm really enjoying this. I like that the MC isn't some white knight like Touch Me. He is good despite being jaded and done evil. I would prefer him not to be married, as that closes down any possibility of romantic pursuits with canon characters. In the Overlord universe, I prefer stories about nation-building with a MC better than Aniz. Aniz is a nervous wreck that allows the NPCs around him to run wild because he refuses to man up to rule or say no to world domination. I love the Overlord universe, but I hate Aniz as a main character. I'm not sure how he earned the right to run a guild as he has little to no leadership skills. He might be the reason the guild lost all its members. He should have dealt with the bad blood between the members instead of cowering in a corner like a helpless child. Anyway, I hope your OC sets Aniz straight, and who knows, maybe his wife will die. Then the dragon queen can comfort him or Blue Rose.
Curclark chapter 3 . 11/16/2023
I find so many of his NPCs being human is kinda boring. The angel is a non combatant. Does the fox have hands? I have a pet peeve about main characters being a race without thumbs. Since the fox is just a NPC I guess it doesn't really count, though. I just finished reading a story that had 8 angel general NPCs and it was amazing
I hope your NPCs can live up to that. Unfortunately, I'm partial to good looking characters and since most of yours are female I'm sure I'll like them less regardless.
The Ghost in Me chapter 47 . 4/5/2023
Absolutely loving this fic so far! Hands down the best Overlord fanfiction I’ve read! I really love the fusion of modern militarism tactics with a fantasy setting where commanders are often picked off their individual fighting power, not strategic or tactical thinking or ability to see the bigger picture, and individual fighters/mages can decide the outcome of battle. The Scarlet Hillside scenes have been incredible to read, and really shows the difference between Avalon and Ainz Ooal Gown (or really, nearly all other combative groups in Overlord), since while Ainz would likely have panicked and tried an immediate retreat, rather than dig in for a disadvantaged and magicless siege, Avalon’s PoPs and NPCs were actually prepared for such a situation and had training for it. If this fic has been dropped (it’s been a couple of years since the last update) then I hope things go well for you in life and you’re having a good time in spite of everything going on in the world right now, and if it’s just on extended hiatus then I can’t wait to see where the story goes (especially the hints in Chap 22 towards Cecilia getting injured and Draconis going missing)!
Guest chapter 1 . 1/6/2023
So Lancelot is fucking his wife, right? I mean, his name is Lancelot. I applaud the author for his boldness in supporting alternative lifestyles.
ffnBlasterMaster chapter 3 . 1/3/2023
Okay, uh, the descriptions here are nice. I want to say a little too detailed, like Old Testament Leviticus detailed, but that isn't really bad in and of itself. One thing that does bother me is how you say you can only understand the Elementals if you understand... Terran? In a world where everything is auto-translated? Speaking of which, Draconis didn't seem curious about this at all in the previous chapter. Hm, well, it wasn't written from POV, so I suppose you can scratch it up to that. Also, how the hell do you have Avalon POPs or NPCs, whatever they are, chilling in a completely different guildbase BEFORE the transfer? Really breaking all the mechanics of guildbases here for something so minor, Pal.

Another very funny plothole you have. You say Chronos can't scry Avalon because of their defenses, but couldn't Draconis just... message his Wife to allow them to peek for a moment? I feel the need to point out how giving all these random ages to your NPCs is something that is extremely irrelevant. Like... they aren't actually that old. It's just more flavortext wank in the same way Maru does with Albedo and Demiurge. This loyalty crisis the NPCs are experiencing is jarring as well. We know in canon that slavish loyalty is hardcoded into them, so for them to cast suspicion on their creator is weird as hell.

Oh man, another great topic to dig into: The Slane Theocracy. Here, we can see the author blatantly showcase his hate boner for religious institutions as many other LN authors and Fanfic writers enjoy doing while completely failing to understand the ST's influence on the world around them. It's stated by Maruyama that all the human kingdoms in the region would fall to demihuman neighbors were it not for the Slane Theocracy taking proactive action in subduing demihumans within humanity's borders, and driving away those outside. Isn't it odd how your MC treated beastmen so cruely yet judges the Theocracy for treating them in the same way he has? I don't even NEED to make a moral judgment here—it should be plain to see that your MC is a complete and absolute hypocrite of the highest order.

And of course you add on even more edginess to Draconis's backstory. First the guy is a "traumatized" war veteran and now his parents were killed by a brother that he ended up killing at the AGE OF SIX, and became a CHILD HITMAN? What the actual hell, dude. I love how this guy tries to justify giving tragic backstories to his NPCs too. All of it falls flat on its ass when you realize that he could've just like, not. Anyways, the whole scene is fucking stupid; obviously just another way to show how righteous and good Draconis is. Ah, excuse me: "righteous and good."

AND THEN THESE FUCKING NPCS LITERALLY APOLOGIZE FOR BLAMING HIM GIVING THEM DEPRESSING AND TRAGIC BACKSTORIES. AN ISSUE THEY WERE JUST WORKED UP OVER LIKE, THIS CHAPTER.
ffnBlasterMaster chapter 2 . 1/3/2023
It's sorta interesting to see how the NPC lore referencing other NPCs from the Wife's guild is paying off here with Akame. With that out of the way, now I'm very very very curious as to why you didn't use your Scryer NPC Chronos to locate the Wife's guildbase. Like, in chapter 1 Draconis said he was going to send out feelers to look for her, but the dude could literally just... scry. C'mon.

A little offputting how Ainz ends up doing the exact same thing in canon (you would think knowing Draconis was there might influence some changes) but I suppose not enough time has passed for drastic differences yet, so I'll give a pass there. Demiurge also feels a tiny off here as well, but that's a minor qualm so no biggy I think.

I also find it funny how Draconis constantly looks down on Ulbert and treats their criticism of 2138 society as whiny rants yet still thinks he can hold the moral high ground. Like... my guy. You were the one upholding the establishment. Who did you fight wars for? That's right: the corporations. The same corporations that oppress Ulbert, the corporations that resulted in Momonga's mom dying from overwork. This Draconis person is absolutely shameless for thinking himself to be above Ulbert when he defended the very institutions that have trampled on their humanity. Extremely laughable justifications from the MC's part.

Also, I find it odd how the NPCs still treat Draconis with this much respect. I understand it's because Ainz tells them to do so, but he's still an outsider. Still someone who is not a member of Nazarick (and even worse, someone that had been kicked out). A quick look at canon with Tuare will show you that even outsiders "accepted" by Nazarick are still looked down upon.

Hoooo boy, the beastmen. Ohhhh, the beastmen. One, why the hell would beastmen rape humans? Look at the Martial Lord in Overlord—the guy has straight up said he found the idea of copulating with a human disgusting. Two, why the hell do these beastmen talk like fucking prehistoric cavemen? We know that the western human regions are known as the BACKWATER of the NW, so it comes to reason that the Beastman Country should be more civilized than however you've portrayed them. Hell, even the Abelion TRIBES, FUCKING TRIBES, act more intelligent than these ridiculous mockeries you've written and those guys weren't even unified like the Beastman Country is. Honestly, I've contracted a severe case of secondhand-shame from reading these GOD-awful caricatures that are obviously just there to show how strong and righteous your characters are. No point in actually characterizing some cardboard cutouts who don't have any other purpose, eh? Lazy writing, to be perfectly honest.

AHAHAHA and don't even get me started on the hypocrisy of your "traumatized" veteran. Man has NO response to the slaughter he's saying? He's just Mister Stoic the entire time? He has NO qualms over killing the beastmen who are, mind you, living, sentient beings? Their screams of pain and all don't bother or disturb him at all? Are you just going to brush this off with the lazy excuse of "Oh, his racial classes prevent him from feeling guilty," or "Oh, he's used to it?" Not gonna lie dude, this Draconis guy is coming off as really callous, especially with how he goes around slaughtering those who've already surrendered. Sure, you can use the excuse that the beastmen wouldnt have shown mercy to the humans, but don't try to pretend Draconis is some virtuous paragon.

In terms of writing itself, the constant, short POV changes feel really jumpy/jarring. If they flowed well and were used sparingly it would be great, but they sort of don't, so it just ends up being a pain.
ffnBlasterMaster chapter 1 . 1/3/2023
Alllllright ladies, and gentlem*n and everybody else: this will be a loooong series of reviews for the hit fanfic Overlord: The Exiled where I shall attempt to look thru each and every chapter -

To start off, we see the MC meet up with his beautiful wife who—you guessed it!—is a dragon. The author then dives into an in-depth description of her appearance before moving on to talking about how he got her into the game plus his previous affiliation with Nine's Own Goal. Cool, nothing really egregious yet despite being pretty generic as far as Overshit fanfics go.

Guy then manages to clear a dungeon (it's implied that he did it solo? but invited his wife to help with final boss? whatever) gets his cool blah blah blah guildbase stuff and somehow manages to add his Wife (who is in a different guild) and her guild members as officers of his guild? Okay, whatever. The fic goes on to describe how OP he and his Wife's guilds are and how his MC received the super awesome Dragon Ascendant Class before heading into the whole Ygg - NW transition scene. This bit is about as typical as you can get: MC is surprised, sees NPCs are alive, does some scouting, contacts his Wife (Whose guild AND SUPER OP guild members named after the Round Table were also Isekaid). Now, you would expect a lovey-dovey couple like these two to immediately try to meet up, but noooooo this man tells her to sit tight while he tries to locate her. Like, my guy, do you not have scrying items? Do you have nothing in that 1500 NPC lvl guild base of yours? Whatever, this relationship already feels like a farce that's there only to show that the MC has a hot sexy hot beautiful sexy wife.

Oh yes, and by the way, Nazarick and Ainz are isekaid into the NW as well. So now we have: Draconis (Le MC), his guildbase with NPCs, His wife Artorias (lmfao) with her guildmembers, NPCs and guildbase which is a big ass castle city, and finally Ainz plus Nazarick. One more tiny gripe about the MC's guild: most of them are literally named and directly copied from characters of existing franchises (Esdeath, Kurome, Akame, the Bunny from Monty Python...) Ah yeah, by the way, Esdeath is an LEVEL ONE HUNDRED NPC that Ainz Ooal Gown allowed Draconis to make with THEIR NPC levels despite no longer being part of the guild.

Next up, we get into Draconis's IRL lore and the reason why he left NOG. The guy is a badass war veteran who has PTSD, severe injuries (barely relevant) and split with NOG because he disapproved of them... PKing? His seriousness over video game conduct aside, Ulbert got angry at him for being a 'winner,' he got angry at Ulbert because le self-righteousness resulting in him leaving because he was worried about the 'direction' the guild was taking in becoming 'evil.' Wtf.
Wacko12 chapter 2 . 10/28/2022
is Avalon the name of the Dungeon or the Guild? If the latter what is the dungeon?
capitalist banter chapter 13 . 10/26/2022
Miranda telling her a prophecy a second time before meeting Draconis then Arche saying he needs to prove himself in the arena is really quite dull. But I guess he has to start somewhere. I don't know why he is bothering to go to the empire though he has more then enough power to defeat the beastmen.

Some typos:

wish I "as" fortunate to get a sudden free bonus.

It "mad" her seem like madness had set in at times.
capitalist banter chapter 7 . 10/25/2022
Some more typos:

Getting to be on good terms with them "with" drastically strengthen our location.

Sister, if they are true then we would be failing "out" duty to the people to make sure
capitalist banter chapter 5 . 10/24/2022
Quote a few typos in this chapter. Here are a few that I found. Anything with quotes around it is a typo.

That was interesting, rumors were common, but stating that an entire beastmen raid group had "no" been driven off, but utterly destroyed were quite another matter. Either this Aarik was drunk off his seat or said event truly occurred. If that was actually the case then she couldn't just wave it off. The kingdom was suffering terribly and on the verge of collapse. "Sshe" couldn't be stingy when the kingdom could only hold claim to a single adamantite class adventurer's group.

Sir Draconis "Brightlbade", I must beg forgiveness for my advisor's men

If "yo" cannot withstand the mental onslaught, you will die
Timesliger chapter 47 . 8/22/2022
I know this might getting old but I reread it I sorry you did meant Wild magic, I guess with it being mentioned not that much I missed it, also it news I heard about volume 16 it seems that Corpese of the abyss is still around in the current timeline, that’s the group of Night Lichs, and it seems from clues, it’s New leader who calls tier Magic Filthy, and its a undead of great power, many fans, including myself, have speculated that it’s the Elder Coffin dragon lord, if this true, then oh boy he’s might get rerouted by platinum dragon lord if he’s desperate enough in the main story
729 | Page 1 2 3 4 11 .. Last Next »