This was very good! I liked how you made Kerchek into a heartless! Making this story into something unique and cool! Oswald is hilarious! And I love Clara she is a cute little cinnamon role! And Nox is such a cute little bean with his excitement of every new thing. Lol I wonder, since Jiminy is Sora’s companion who keeps a journal of everything on their journey, do you think Oswald’s friend Grimlin Gus being Nox’s?

Anyway, this was great! Can’t wait to see the chapter! Keep up the awesome work!

Yay! We didn't have to wait another year!

Gonna just be upfront and admit I don't have much to say for this chapter. It was just a good chapter, nothing that really catches my eye to warrant an extremely long, ranty paragraph.

Of course, I'm gonna try anyway!

So Deep Jungle part 2! Finishing up the story with a big boss Heartless created by Pete. Definitely neat to see a gorilla Heartless, especially given that the boss is normally just a big lizard Heartless. And definitely really nice to see Pete actually being a threat for once. I'd argue Pete was...sort of capable in II (Timeless River and Pride Lands come to mind), but, yeah, definitely much more notably a threat here, especially if this is an average encounter with him (meaning he'll be this capable in the following worlds as well)

Interested in that Crest Nox got though. I'm assuming these are the replacements for keychains for the Guardiarm, which, if so, sounds pretty neat. Keychains are always a nice feature of worlds, so I'm happy Nox will get to experience that as well. The Wild Claw also sounds pretty sick (I especially like the vines as the whips. Dunno, it just sounds really sweet looking.)

So Olympus is up next. Given that Wonderland was visited after Sora, and Deep Jungle at the same time, will Nox and crew be arriving before Sora this time? I am still hoping for Nox to be arriving after Sora where it would actually affect the story though, like in Atlantica post-Ursala's defeat or Neverland after the events in game. That's just me being me though. Stick with whatever you have planned.

That's all though!
Peace!
;D

Great battle and I like how you had Pete turn Kerchak into a heartless
I also like the Wild claw (has a real shaman feel to it)upgrade to the guardian arm, can't wait to see what other forms Nox's weapon will take and how you plan on changing the form of the others weapons
Nice to see that desert machine finally be used and it looks like Clara already loves it due to her sweet tooth

keep up the good work and thanks for the shout out

OMG UPDATE HYPEEEEEE!

I am just going to say that I'm really REALLY honored/embarrassed/idk it's funny and weird at the same time that you dedicated the chapter to me. Also really embarrassed that I also didn't read this right away, but hey, I was busy with Christmas so...yeah.

since there's nowhere better to put it down, just wanted to say that Oswald said “we’re umping down too!” and at the end for Clara's infobox, it said "Her cureent Familiar". Uh, yeah, just small things that didn't fit anywhere else.

So...first off, I was incredibly confused when Oswald popped out for the first time, had a very confused period where I doubted everything that I thought I knew about this story, had to go back and reread every chapter, thought I was just insane, then finally read to the bottom of this chapter and realized YAY I wasn't insane and Oswald wasn't always in this story.

But on the bright side I got to reread the story? Yeah, that works.

Since this is the first time he's really been added, I'll talk about Oswald a bit I guess.

I played both Epic Mickey games and I have quite a bit of fondness for Oswald, so the change doesn't bother me too much (also I can't even remember the other guy's name, so I guess that shows how much I cared about him). In fact, I think Oswald being in the party is a change for the better, mostly just, as you said, Oswald needs more love. Either way, happy for this change. He also fights pretty neatly too.

Also, YAY you did go to Deep Jungle. I do like Olympus more, but I think it's better suited for a world later down the line. So far it's pretty good, and I'm looking forward to the rest of the world. I do agree with past me, in that two chapters is best for each world. So...pat on the back past me!

Neat to see that Pete actually exists before KHII in this. (I mean he obviously did in the main universe, but he just didn't appear so...yeah) Is this just a one time thing (I hope not...) or is he going to be a reoccurring character for Nox's group? (which sounds like a much better idea while still not changing too much about Sora and co.'s journey) Could be interesting to sort of see him as the main(ish?) "opponent" for Nox's group (given that Maleficent is Sora's group's opponent throughout their journey) since Pete then has a reason for not interacting with Sora pre-KHII. Just my two cents.

So how have I not noticed that Nox is literally a freaking nerd until now? Like...he freaks over tiny cool things, gives names to everything he sees and does and is just...a nerd. In the best way possible.

That's all though. Can't wait for more (and crossing my fingers it's not another literal year until it comes :P)

Peace!
;D

Another great chapter and can’t wait to see what abilities Nox unlocks next
I also like how you included Oswald in the story
I’m also glad you kept Clara, I enjoy her character and feel like she will become a possible love interest for Nox

I’m also looking forward to seeing what costume designs you’ll come up with during certain world like Atlantica and Halloween town
Here are some ideas I had in mind
Nox- orca mermaid and devil
Clara- shark mermaid and witch
Oswald- lobster and werewolf

Hope you had a merry Christmas and have a happy New Years

Interesting way of telling to be sure and i like the idea of heartfelt weapons.
is for deep jungle

Well...it felt a tiny bit fast if I'm completely honest. I know the worlds aren't THAT long, but it still felt...I dunno, maybe too short. Not too much of a complaint with Wonderland, but for some other worlds it could feel too rushed. Then again, this is all just based on the assumption that this is the average length of a chapter. So I could be completely wrong. But (just my opinion) I feel like two chapters might be better, to fully flesh out and explore the worlds.

I do like the idea of telling the story in the form of a game though. It works well, and it's an interesting thought. I assume that things like Nox using the Executioner's axe against it would be Reaction Commands, or something similar.

The Heartfelt Weapons are also a cool idea, and I already really like the Star Spear. Since he got the Star Spear from Guard Armor, I assume he'll get some kind of axe or something from the Executioner (although I didn't actually see him getting an orb, so I could be wrong). Following that train of thought, I assume that means Nox might get abilities based on Ars Arcanum, Sonic Impact, Ripple Drive, Zantetsuken, etc. I don't know why, but I totally imagine a Sonic Impact-esc Heartfelt Weapon being, like, a gigantic bazooka or something. I dunno

Anyway, as much as I love Olympus Coliseum, I'm gonna say Deep Jungle.

Great chapter though.

See ya!

Nice! I loved the chapter dude! His is really good! Can't wait to see what happens next! Keep up the awesome work! :)

I guess it's my turn to thank you for the shoutout, huh? Anyway, this was a very good, interesting start. It's good that you're jumping right into things at this first chapter, though I usually have a bit of a preference for slower buildup to the beginning. The characters seem well-drawn enough for their introductions, giving us a good snapshot of each before they're delved into further. It will be very interesting to see how this all goes along!

I love your story so far can't wait to see what happens next! Keep up the great work! :D

Ooh this looks interesting! Many many travels from one world to the next await! I look forward to seeing what Nox ends up getting into!

OMG

When this showed up into my feed I clicked it faster than I ever thought I could. Even faster than I did for Arc-VOC.

I do like this idea, of a separate group on the same sort of mission. I do wonder, will there be the same worlds, or different ones? Of course, you probably won't answer me, but, hey, worth a shot.

Anyway, I thought it was great so far. The Guardiarm is a pretty unique weapon (definitely more than other OCs I've seen who just get Keyblades). I'm also guessing that the more shards Nox gets, the more powerful the Guardiarm will be, because...I dunno, that's how it feels I guess.

God damn it, now I wanna write a KH story...

Well, look forward to the next chapter!

I like the start and hope that you continue to end