Reviews for Return of the Thornwood Family
Noy chapter 14 . 6/6/2022
All the purebloods we see are stern and stoic ?
Did you just completely forgot about the Weasley ?
Noy chapter 11 . 6/6/2022
The way you are treating Lily as a character is extremely inconsistent and make your story feel extremely confusing.
First she bravely stands to Voldemort, then she suddenly doesn't have a backbone anymore and let Dumbledore and James send her son away, she is apparently so dumb that she wasn't aware her sister hated anything magical despite living with her for years, she didn't visit her son but apparently she missed him and regret sending him away.
That makes absolutely no sense, you really need to make some serious effort to make your characters' actions consistent through your story because right now it looks like they do whatever the plot require them to do without rhyme or reason.
Noy chapter 6 . 6/6/2022
You completely lost me.
Why are you now trying to picture Lily in a good light ? Did you just forgot what you wrote in previous chapters ?
She is the worthless bitch that decided to abandonned her son into a home she had to know he was going to be abuse since she knows how her sister is.
She is completely irredeemable in my eyes and I couldn't care less about her feeling guilty about it, but strangely not guilty enough to actually visit Harry when he was at the Dursley...
She doesn't deserve to be call a mother and there is absolutely nothing you can do to make me like her in anyway after what she did.
Guest chapter 11 . 5/26/2022
Yes, I was right. You have no idea how to write a conversation. I suggest you pick up a few books on the subject. They are rather cheap and will help you with fixing your atrocious prose.
By reading this (and so many other stories), I must assume that English is not your native language. If so, you need those books.
If English is your native language, I feel sorry for you and you desperately need those books.
Guest chapter 10 . 5/26/2022
Actually it sucks to be you because I'm not confused. Do you have any practical experience writing conversations? They are rather stilted and stiff with no flow or personality being emoted. It's like I'm reading a summary and not people talking.
SaggyBalls chapter 7 . 5/26/2022
No, that was crap. What's with all the extra garbage? Where's the story I wanted?
Barnacle Boy is wanking the old man off and let him scream his catch phrase.
SaggyBalls chapter 6 . 5/26/2022
I totally skipped over that universe crap. I want story, not background. I'll probably skip the stupid kung fu training montage, too. Same reason.
Also, Lily was a horrible mother. She didn't visit or even check on Harry once. Screw her!
The only potential redemption could be had with Rose and that's only if you don't make her an arrogant little bitch. Then again, you could have Harry Thornwood legally marry her and make a bunch of little non-incest babies. They aren't blood related anymore, so it's okay. LOL
Eldersprig chapter 4 . 5/10/2022
"The kids are at Hogwarts, in the middle of a lesson."
At seven.
John Ciaccio chapter 26 . 5/7/2022
Thank you so much for your stories. I am heading over to read the rest of them
AurelionNoir chapter 2 . 4/21/2022
It's evident that your first language is not English (which I take no offense to) but couple that with... well, with the uh... plot it's... hmm.

Seeing that it's already been 4 years, I think a rewrite needs to happen to get your points properly across. A sentence like "started to worship their god, known as, god" is really, let's just say unappealing. My immersion was instantly lost the moment I read that part lol.

There's also the huge 1000 - 3000 years of history you've put behind this guy on a book and that of the Thornwood family. But you'd have to realize, Thornwood is clearly in English and there's no English at the time. Maybe putting it in Hieroglyphics or some kind of runic language and then have the book-man translate it to it's English counterpart, Thornwood. Would be a great start to it.

But as of now, I'd have to drop this.
Darkwill0w chapter 4 . 4/16/2022
I can't read more. to many logical inconsistencies like his brother and sister being in class when they shouldn't even have started yet. also too many overused tropes for me to not cringe. and some random spelling errors like using "know" instead of "now". get a beta reader.
N7 Greek-Valkyrie chapter 26 . 4/13/2022
Thank you for the update, I'm glad you're alright. I look forward to when you start writing this again. :)
InfinityMask chapter 24 . 4/11/2022
Why they allow Dumbledore to come to building?
Also I wonder if the one get voldy out is the one that cause incident in DOM...
Guest chapter 26 . 4/8/2022
Dammit dude got my hopes up when I saw this had an update and holy shit has it really been that long, swear a read a new chapter a month or two ago
Guest chapter 26 . 4/8/2022
Don't waste your time on anything this idiot attempts to write. It won't be that good and will be delayed and then dropped after a few chapters.
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