Reviews for Harry Potter and The Chance at a New Life
Figggle chapter 8 . 9/23
I really wanted to enjoy this fic but the whole thing is basically just one massive infodump
EkaterinaSteele chapter 18 . 9/20
enjoying this story
GhostedMentality chapter 4 . 9/12
Just a few things to mention.
Great idea for a plot and the actual storyline is decent.

I have quite a bit of difficulty sticking with each chapter though. I'm not sure if your native language is not English or if you just legitimately don't understand the need to pick a tense and stick to it. You flip back and forth between all three tenses in nearly every paragraph from past to present to future and it is very distracting from the story itself. Extremely jarring to say the least.

Another critique is you seem to randomly jump perspectives for no reason and without any preamble. On the whole this doesn't seem to be a first person narrative but then random sentences are... and not even thoughts of an individual, you simply hop over to first person narrative from a third person perspective and then back at random. Again, jarring and distracting.

I'm unsure if you are using an audio dictation program, but you do use the wrong spelling or word for a few things. "Due" in place of "do" and such.

Other than that. I think you have something good here if you can clean it up and stick to a single tense and perspective. If you are not sure of a word being used correctly, just look it up. I have to do that sometimes when my wife finds mistakes in my writing (apparently mortified is not synonymous with terrified) so it happens to all of us.

Good luck and have fun!
primalparadox chapter 17 . 9/3
You have some very odd ideas as to what constitutes a prank. My understanding is that they are at least MEANT to be funny.
gundamator chapter 18 . 8/21
Are you ever planning on updating a galaxy far far away?
BelialCoster chapter 18 . 8/10
Very nice story you got here I binge read the whole book
Lexi0521a chapter 18 . 8/10
Firstly, this story is amazingly well thought out and executed. While RL can sometimes be distracting, your perseverance with this story is a testament to your dedication to writing an exceptional piece of work. The only “complaint” I could have would be your obvious excitement when you finally feel good about the flow. that just comes from being human.
Meanwhile, I will wait until the next installment of this glorious tale.
Guest chapter 1 . 8/7
So I have been hearing that the author as passed away suddenly. I believe it was posted on alternate history as well. I guess if some can adopted the stores post and let people know
Zaidee Lighthart chapter 18 . 8/5
This was a great read and I really can’t wait for the chance to read more. Some of the moments in this, like the McDonald’s prank cracked me up. I hope your able to find the time and inspiration to write more again soon. I would love to see what happens with this spy at the end of this most recent chapter. Thank you for writing this and sharing it with us.
deschiffchiff chapter 6 . 7/25
Small Trunk limpets stuck to the outside of a Ship would be devastating when the Ship entered Hyperspace !
Joe02 chapter 18 . 7/24
Just checking in to see any new chapters to this story or the star wars story. Looking forward to another chapter in either story. Love your work.
BadReader chapter 14 . 7/21
"Deciding not to follow Hathor, instead he pulled out a small device from his bottomless pouch, and used his magic to stick a tiny transmitter to her neck under a notice-me-not. This would allow for him to pick her up if she ever entered anywhere in range of his communication network or one of his ships. While it was not a perfect solution it could help in the future with dealing with Hathor."

You build up 'protecting Earth', but not only do you have them continue to enter the gate while clueless, giving them no information, you also allow Hathor to leave the SGC with all that information with an 'oh well' as if it doesn't create a huge security risk that could have very easily been solved for 'canon plot' reasons.

So in this way you contradict your previous chapters, dumb down your character, make a spectator filler arc, and maintain canon over story consistency. Super fail here. Will read on and hope this is the only time but any more will ruin things.
alsdjhfgljkwebgh chapter 18 . 7/19
You're a joke. Hope life sucks.
Colesilver chapter 1 . 7/18
Totally cool so far
raven spotter chapter 18 . 7/16
Great story thoroughly enjoying it one question though in the last chapter you called Samantha Major Carter and in this one you went back to Captain Carter. Also is he going to find the repository of knowledge and get a full download and maybe some more ancient tech. Anyway as I said I’m loving the story and hope you update soon.

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