|Reviews for Beyond the Monitor's Grave|
| RoseAndVanillaCupcake chapter 3 . 11/4/2018
| MasterHamsters chapter 21 . 8/23/2018
Admittedly, I thought the fic did lose its charm in these last few chapters. It felt a lot like a back and forth between the characters without much going on. I totally understand what it's like though. I remember just kinda improving a few chapters of my own and just passing it off as good enough. I actually have a few suggestions in what you can do to at least make the pacing of your chapters feel a bit better.
1. I feel like the characters announce what they're going to do before they do it, leading to some very repetitive and redundant sentences. Try to cut those down.
2. You rely on dialogue a lot. Try reading some of the dialogue out loud and try imagining you're saying it in a conversation. You'd be surprised how much sounds so unnatural.
3. I think you should probably avoid putting in any current events happening with your life out of the story itself. Some past events should be fine for some character and world building, but trying to make it line up with your current life might make it feel a bit too monotonous to write or read.
I really look forward to the revamped story. It's kind of an overdone concept but you've done it the best I've seen so far. Good luck to your future endeavors!
| Maxiansdevil chapter 21 . 8/23/2018
God my heart dropped so hard you have no idea! This fanfiction is already perfect the way it is and i like that your trying even harder to make it better for your fans and readers Although i don't think this can get any better then it already is, I truly hope you can prove me wrong and show us a mind blasting, Life lasting, hope giving chapter and story for all of us
| Superstar Saga chapter 21 . 8/23/2018
Its alright my friend if you wish to remake this story! I understand if you may not like it, even though I personally love all literature, and wish to improve upon it! I wish you much luck in your task; although I would advise you not stress yourself too hard! Because your loyal readers all love you and want the best for you! So, with that in mind, I was thinking that maybe if you reboot this fiction, you could do so while having in mind the philosophy of DDLC. You know, what does it mean to be truly self aware? Is the "real world" different than a mere game? Stuff like that spices up any story!
The BEST stories always have a bit of TEARS and BLOOD!
Am I right, Author?
| AydenK chapter 21 . 8/22/2018
Should be interesting to see how you re-write this
I look forward to it
| ZombieSlayers chapter 21 . 8/21/2018
Good luck man
| randomidiot1816 chapter 20 . 8/14/2018
Yo, we are waiting for the holy grail of the life in this universe!
| Maxiansdevil chapter 20 . 8/1/2018
Commenting for a second time thats how much i like this commenting a week later? anyways i want you to know how much all of me and my friends support you to finish this and make a famous beautiful fanfiction don't let anyone say otherwise
| VNDBOT chapter 1 . 7/29/2018
Very amazing concept. Just because it’s common, that doesn’t take away from your actual story. Good Job! The “Characters into reality” is definitely a good concept.
| Guest chapter 20 . 7/20/2018
This house does it all. Streaming (may not strictly be video games only), music covers/production, and writing books. What is next, fan art with patreon support or possible a group vlog?
How do we know if Natsuki followers wasn't the result of a raid gone wrong and people are thinking 'we got a gamer girl cosplaying while play Call of Duty' or something along those lines?
I don't know if any existing character is skilled with drawing an animation, but maybe you can borrow FearRaiser animated story time idea from youtube. Instead or the stories be based on real life experiences, maybe it can be used to bring any short or scraped stories from Yuri.
| dawicca chapter 20 . 7/20/2018
I can't imagine sayori saying bad words. I can comprehend the idea that she may occasionally think about herself with bad for words but I can't imagine her saying a bad word. nice chapter. I don't understand the appeal of writing mc into existence. he is a blank slate after all. but it is what it is.
| Guest chapter 20 . 7/19/2018
okay. cool. i like it, good chapter if a bit short but i understand the stress of real life sooooo. but sayori singing, didnt think of that one XD. yeah really good chapter. keep it up k?
| chipmunkfanantic chapter 2 . 7/18/2018
Oh comeonika , having her bunk with you ? oh the things that can happen .
| Anonymous chapter 20 . 7/17/2018
“Don’t be that way, bitch, let me introduce you... to my three best friends Mister Johnson, and the Juice Crew! If you see the Princess Zelda, well, you know you’re gonna grab her. So why don’t you try to come back, to my inflatable poo jabber-?”
“OH, MY GOD.”
I love me some Starbomb. Gotta say though, I still don’t entirely understand that Null bit. I feel like I should, but I don’t. Ehh, maybe it’ll kick in later, like when I’m pulling a snack out of the fridge.
| Eternal Violets chapter 20 . 7/17/2018
Good to have you back,Sonic. I hope everything is alright now. C: