Reviews for A More Realistic Hope |
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![]() ![]() This is good and interesting story |
![]() ![]() Well, Naegi is actually average in nearly everything but misfortune and good fortune and intellect... and motivation to do the right thing. And hope. |
![]() ![]() ![]() cool |
![]() ![]() Dude the parts with Makoto and Monaca were the best parts, he was like a father to her. If he asked the Ultimate Yakuza, then I’m sure the dude could actually pull some strings and make it so he actually was. It would be nice to see more of other people’s reactions to how Makoto and Monaca interact with one another as well as how those people effect the two. Like Souda, Miu, and K1-B0 build a little prototype kind of endoskeleton that takes all three of them to control (nothing is perfect). One person per leg while the remain individual monitors her spine and makes adjustments to prevent any further injury. They barrow and surprise Monaca with it before they go on to surprise Makoto, who is likely looking around frantically for her because one moment things are okay and the next moment he’s laying on his back trying to remember how to breathe after being sent out a window (he limps away with a cracked rib and dislocated shoulder, he’s luck that it isn’t anything worse). I’m rambling, but if you’re interested in hearing more ideas then email maybe? |
![]() ![]() ![]() i know its late, but i really hope jt would be a non despair fic, since Monaca and Naegi's interaction is too wholesome |
![]() ![]() ![]() a pity i quite enjoyed this story well its good to know will at least continue writing |
![]() ![]() ![]() if you ever need help understanding the tags on Ao3 let me know! I'll be happy to give you pointers :) I'm super excited for the rewrite! |
![]() ![]() ![]() please. make that Junko and Makoto AU! |
![]() ![]() Ok, first, I want to tell that I really love to read all your stories again. You have a lot of talent. Second, I don't know if you have a tumblr or deviantart or something, but I hope you're okay though the current situation. (Sorry, I don't speak English very well, so maybe there's something wrong) |
![]() ![]() ![]() It's awesome please update |
![]() ![]() ![]() The story become a little monotone after a while, not to say the story is bad, but for me is repetitive and almost the same in chapters... |
![]() ![]() ![]() Wow. Byakuya's sister. What's the reason she's a cyborg in this world? |
![]() ![]() Thanks for the update, and happy new year! |
![]() ![]() ![]() Take your time buddy. Also, why do you refer to Nekomaru by his last name? Like you call him Nidai and yet you call Chihiro, well, Chihiro? I’m confused. |
![]() ![]() You know reading through this again I just noticed that Mondo referred to Chihiro as “dude” instead of “chick” implying that he knows Chihiro’s secret, just like how he slipped up in game. Such a small thing but man is it a nice touch, unless it was an accident but with how you’ve played Ryoko/Junko (and please if you don’t know that by now it really shouldn’t be a spoiler) like with the mentions of Junko out on the weekend with family the same time Ryoko came to visit, and the sneaky text during their gaming session. There’s always hints but just enough misdirection to keep the connection from being solidified for Makoto, because surely he’d be able to piece it together eventually. Which reminds me that it’d be interesting to see how she eventually decides to reveal that. Also Makoto’s luck is supposed to be unpredictable to anyone so that plays well into their relationship, and also opens opportunities to create problems because honestly his luck would do that. Pick and choose which other talents you want to mix in and you can create something disastrous. Even if it’s non despair and bormal school life, it’s also Hope’s Peak with tons of talented people and 2 people with insane luck, and with Naegi’s almost always resulting in something bad happening directly to him even if the end results are generally good, well there’s plenty of chaos to be had. |