Don’t worry about Kirches familiar, your one of the few people that actually mention them other then in passing, so it’s a nice change of pace. Also, I hope the next chapter involves everyone figuring out what Legion is, and where he comes from, as that will really change the plot from canon, which is nice because so many people just straight up follow the plot to the letter, and I can’t want to see what you have for Seistas grandfather.

I don't think you have any reason at all to feel bad for killing off Kirche's familiar; not that it's deserving of being killed or Kirche herself a terrible character. It's just story mechanism, and frankly Flame could be considered a tertiary character at best. So don't worry so much about it.

If anything, the story could only benefit from a somewhat improved pacing of activity. To be honest, Louise has paragraphs upon paragraphs of introspection and speculation at some points, and it makes it feel like every scene takes much longer than it actually should.

It's understandable to some extent, given her circumstances, but as a writer trying to tell a (hopefully compelling) story, it might be better to limit the amount of time she spends essentially talking to herself.

Looking forward to how this plays out.

Are you going to let Kirche become revealed to be a Dragon-blooded human?
Considering that Rhyme Dragons are capable of assuming human form, it might not be too farfetched to let Kirche have one, more specifically a Fire Rhyme Dragon, among her direct ancestors, who might have assimilated into the human race through interbreeding resulting in her ancestors to have carried over the Dragon DNA to their offspring and later descendants following them further along the way, causing the non-human DNA to become 'watered down' to the point of it being (super)compressed into dormant gene of latent potential.

The problem is how to trigger the potential 'Dragon Gene' within Kirche, considering I can only think of two possible ways to unlock the dormant dragon DNA within her.

She would probably emerge as a mutant of the metahuman variety, and her potential Dragon Gene would probably only bestow her with dragon traits, characteristics, and attributes, including the ability to breath fire while giving her two unique abilities as an addition:
1. The ability to turn into a Gargoylesque hybrid version of her human self. (Look up Disney's Gargoyles for references)
2. The ability to use Pyrokinesis independently of Pyromancy.

I would read this story just for the dialogue but even besides that your probably right that the story needs something big to get it moving less Geth just walk around and study stuff. Great work

Well shit, this is getting interesting.

Thanks for the chapter!

More right that I expected, but seriously, read original books, most of ZnT fanfics influenced by anime but characterisation of people like Louise, Saito (who ultimatelly doesn't matter here), Guiche, Henrietta, Colbert, Siesta, Tiffania, Kirche is quite different and just plain better in novels. And it's simple woth reading.

Read some more very interesting but some advice the dialogue that is here is good but it is lacking in quantity dialogue bleeds development. To me there just isn't enough so far. But keep it up this story was a nice surprise.

When legion said subject zero i just about died laughing. Don't give this up this has potential.

I can see following potential scenes:
[Scene 1]
Legion: "'Once you eliminated the impossible whatever remains however improbable must be the truth.'"
Louise: "So you mean to tell me that regardless of how ludicrous your claims may be, can still be considered fact?"
Legion: "That is correct."

[Scene 2]
Legion: "Any technology sufficiently advanced enough is indistinguishable from magic."
Louise: "What does that have to do with us?"
Legion: "The religious influence over the civilization of this land has resulted in social stagnation, causing technology level of this world to be so low, that the people consider even the simplest form of science to e an exotic form of magic."

[Scene 3]
Louise: "What is that weird-looking pillar supposed to be?"
Legion: "It is meant to be a long-distance signal tower, designed to transmit information across the galaxy. As of now, it is limited to this solar system."

This is a interesting story, Louise summoning Legion.
I want to see more of it.

GOD
DAMN
AMAZING.

No, it was nice. Continue, please.

Oh good, Legion gets summoned. This is going to be great. Even better when she begins to understand that there are over a thousand 'beings' inside that shell and he contracted with ONE of them, leaving the rest to basically tell it to shut up until they can fix it.

R