Reviews for Legends
An Author's Pen chapter 1 . 3/21/2020
It was a struggle to write a review for this fic, because the word-smithing here is top notch and I really just want to go into each sentence, unpacking why it works so well and oohing at the adjective and verb choices.

[She didn't come in fast or low like she was making an attack but landed some way below the peak.]
The narration throughout the fic feels very careful to me, very deliberate, as if picking the right word in every instance is important. It feels like there is some stake in this battle of legends being told properly. In the sense that the fic is somewhat meta, with the topic of legends and stories, this care feels very appropriate.

[It was a disappointment, then, this farce of a battle. ]
I just love how the narrative voice is so calm, even as the battle is insanely epic. It makes the battle feel even more epic because you realize their sheer power of it stands completely on its own, without any rhetorical tricks to amp up the tension.

[Blastoise raised a lazy hand. The water in the pool rose with it and lunged at Charizard, clenching like a fist.]
You portray the effortless nature of their power so well.

[ sublimating in gentle white wisps]
So many places in this I just had to stop because you chose the exact right verb. Like, how many places does 'sublimate' work? Very few. But it works just right here. Again there's that effortless power going on in the sentence, where the sheer cold is coming through from sublimate but the white wisps are “gentle.”

[Charmander stood and fumed in front of him, growling, tail blazing.]
Fumed is just such a wonderfully evocative verb to use here. I can really feel just how extra Charizard is, even at that young age, this kind of desperation for battle, thrill, meaning that defines its existence.

[They turned away from the graves that affronted both of them—Charizard because she knew you should burn the dead, Blastoise because she thought they should be released into the sea. ]
There's a lovely diverging parallelism you bring out again and again with the two of them, where they are doing the same thing, but in a different way, revealing their independence and their interwoven nature all at once.

[It was always you two—always you two pushing, saying we had to do this, saying we needed to try.]
That seemed off to me. With Blue known as the one who was always first, how does it make sense to say it was Red pushing?

["They say he can even raise the dead," Charizard said and looked up at the glacier, pretending not to notice Blastoise's glare.]
That's not something I've seen associated with Reshiram, but it's an interesting extension of its mythos.

["It's only half as long if you don't plan on coming back."]
Oof. Hits hard with how baldly it's stated.

There does seem to me to be a bit of tension between the narration's insistence that the Charizard/Blastoise story is bigger than their trainers and started before them, and the fact that Charizard at least seems to find life somewhat purposeless after the death of Red.

[They scuffled and tumbled over one another, and some of them looked to be playing Charizard, spreading their arms like wings and jumping on their playmates.]
I love everything about the depiction of Blastoise's brood. And their playful actions after the brutal battles make for a really striking contrast.

Minor line-edits:

[Charizard snarled and pushed against the side of the glacier, hole-ridden wings straining against the slackening blizzard. ]
This confused me. Are Charizard's wings really hole-ridden here? That sounds like serious, long term damage and there's no indication of it later.

[Underwater, Charizard tried to think past suffocating dark. ]
Missing “the”? I think there was another dropped 'the' somewhere else too, but I lost track of it.

[She slipped free, hot water carrying her up like an elevator until her head broke the surface, sweet oxygen all around.]
I wasn't sure about elevator as a metaphor, just because all the description has been so naturalistic thus far. Maybe like a geyser?
Saberas-67 chapter 1 . 10/12/2018
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They fought the most when they were youngest, nothing like real battles, tumbling over each other, scratching, yelling, biting. No winner or loser, just scuffling until pried apart by some long-suffering aide.

Are u serious?!
Misanisonnis.92 chapter 1 . 10/12/2018
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The last battle was much like their first, without trainers, with no purpose but to hurt. "Where are you going?" Charizard had asked when Blastoise turned away, taking one ponderous step and then another.

Impossible.
ShumrumphX74 chapter 1 . 10/12/2018
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The haze had never been meant to hide where Blastoise was, only what she was doing. With the mist ripped away by the blizzard's gale Charizard could see the icicles growing from the rims of Blastoise's cannons, the frost clouding her scales, the snow drifting across the rocks at her feet. She'd been preparing.

Give me a break :(
Lrah.13 chapter 1 . 10/12/2018
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The last battle was much like their first, without trainers, with no purpose but to hurt. "Where are you going?" Charizard had asked when Blastoise turned away, taking one ponderous step and then another.

Come on...
ThmaberX94 chapter 1 . 10/12/2018
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Charizard let the attack's boiling recoil carry her back to the surface and gulped a long draw of air. It took a while for Blastoise to surface this time, and she did so with eyes shut, the skin of her face scrubbed scale-less and pink by the hyper beam. She growled when Charizard set on her again, claws raking at tender skin. "Enough!" Blastoise said, shoving Charizard aside with one arm. "I yield. You have your victory."

Nice!
Liruto.55 chapter 1 . 10/12/2018
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The watchers shrieked and jumped in terrified delight as the solar beam touches down, digging a deep smoking furrow across the rocks and then up and over Blastoise. The water-type had tucked her limbs in tight, though, and all the attack did was leave a blackened streak across her shell.

Wow!
Onni25 chapter 1 . 10/12/2018
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"The dragon of truth?" Blastoise mused. "Yes, of course. The flame who burns away ignorance and lies."

Nice!
TriutantannisX46 chapter 1 . 10/12/2018
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It had been no surprise to find Blastoise in the champion's chamber, her trainer at her side and grinning ear to ear. They'd been first since the very beginning, always one step ahead. It wasn't that Charizard's trainer was weak, sluggish or stumbling. He just wasn't that concerned with being first. After all, there was no point rushing to claim something you wouldn't be able to hold.

Impossible.
Lseirsei.64 chapter 1 . 10/12/2018
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Water swirled around Charizard, dragging at her heavy, sodden body. Blastoise would rise again in a second, ready to pull her down again. Charizard struggled to unfold one wing, shaking out wet and twisted membrane. The thick chunks of ice bobbing all around offered no help, slipping and tipping out from under her whenever she tried to climb aboard. Struggling at the surface, Charizard was almost indignant. Hasn't battled in centuries, as if.

I'm too curious
Lnisnnis-77 chapter 1 . 10/12/2018
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The championship had been, perhaps, too great a victory. It was a blow even to Blastoise's trainer's indomitable ego, and he withdrew to the lesser position of Gym Leader, which he'd never sought nor wanted. Blastoise went with him, of course, to share in his mourning. That left Charizard and her trainer alone, with nowhere left to climb, no greater opponent awaiting them. They trained, and trained, with neither goal nor companion in its pursuit, and it was lonely on the mountain of their achievement. Lonely, and cold.

I'm too curious
Sassukr-6 chapter 1 . 10/12/2018
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"I can tell you two are going to make a couple trainers very happy someday," a weary machoke once told them, holding them apart at arm's length. Charmander hissed at Squirtle across the gap. They weren't even thinking of trainers then, fighting for no one but themselves.

Strange O.o
Herfby.62 chapter 1 . 10/12/2018
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"Well, perhaps I'm just the fighter of the family. My kin may not be so bloodthirsty." Blastoise showed yellowed, cracking teeth. "But I think it's less lack of ability than lack of proper instruction."

Strange O.o
Esonmon.83 chapter 1 . 10/12/2018
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Somehow that was the closest battle of them all. Charizard almost lost. Almost. Even now she doesn't know how that was possible, given the difference in their skill. Maybe, for once, proud Charizard and her trainer hadn't truly wanted to win.

Give me a break :(
MisaMisn 90 chapter 1 . 10/12/2018
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"A journey to Unova," Charizard said.

Come on...
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