Reviews for should and shouldn't
TrueBeliever831 chapter 1 . 5/21
Well, I feel like this was an absolutely perfect depiction of Dumbleydork's guilt. I mean. You summed it up perfectly. There is really nothing else to day. I liked the repetition. It gave it a kind of poetic feel. I also like the mixture of short and long sentences. I wish I could feel sorry for Albus, but I really can't. [aren't I mean?]

Anyway, this was a really well written little drabble. I think you did a good job all the way around. The characterization was spot on, as I said. The flow was good and the writing was very good. I think that last line really got the point across and summed up Dumbleydork's mental and emotional state.
ipsa dixit chapter 1 . 5/1
aw! &hearts
i have a really huge soft spot for albus&gellert (almost as big as your soft spot for amycus, that's how big it is), and i really liked this. i liked that you could tell who the characters were supposed to be, without names. i love it when authors do that because i'm always so impressed aha. even without the character tags i could tell who it was; who else likes the greater good like that? also, who has his sister /die/ for the great good?
i'm not the biggest poetry reader/reviewer, because i find it to be too arbitrary (people can interpret it hundreds of different ways when all the author was trying to get across was that they were craving a banana) but i really enjoyed his. it was #relateable, at least to me, because of all the regret; i've def fallen into someone like this before. okay, maybe not to the point of my sister /dying/ but unhealthly, and i liked how you coveyed that really nicely and strongly.
i have the feels now. please take them back. thanks.
~shay
Emiliya Wolfe chapter 1 . 4/2
I'm not a huge fan of reviewing poetry, simply because I' never sure what to say. I like the cadence of this, it seems to be a mantra that Albus repeats over and over to himself, loathing himself more and more each time he thinks about it. I enjoyed the sandwiching of the "but you did" by the "but you didn't", but I thought the "now you'll regret it forever" was a bit superfluous. Other than that, you definitely managed to tell a story here, and that's the hard thing about poetry. Good effort!
Someone aka Me chapter 1 . 3/16
This is a really interesting fic. I love the unique style of it, especially at the end where you took that style and flipped it on it's head. turning "but you did" into "but you didn't" was amazing and I love the contrast there. This is a good length, as well, because if it had gone on much longer the repetition would have turned from a good thing into something that was just obnoxious. You've really balanced it well. I love the exploration of Albus after Gellert, because I feel like he would definitely have a lot of regret there.

well done!
MissingMommy chapter 1 . 3/14
I'm always down for Albus&Gellert fics. I really enjoyed what you did with this. The style was particularly great; it had a nice little beat to it, which I liked.

I love the shouldn'ts vs the shoulds. That made it power to me. And the [But you didn't. /But you did. /But you didn't] was pretty cool.

I also love the usage of second POV here. I feel lioe it helps me connect with Albus more here tthan any other POV. And the way that you used no names, yet I knew exactly who you were talking about was skills.

Great job!
ama et quod vis fac chapter 1 . 3/13
Oh my gosh, Maisie, what the hell?! Ahhh, this was perfect! I loved the second person and the message of this. I loved the one lines that show broken emotions and thoughts. It gave me a serious case of the feels :)

The "you should have" parts are gorgeous. And the contrasting "you shouldn't have" is just right for it, and really balances it out. The regret and sorrow in this is amazing, and you captured the moment perfectly.

I read this for the first time and wished for names before re-reading it and saw that it was Gellert and Albus. And it finally clicked, lol. I'm guessing that the 'she' spoken of is Ariana Dumbledore? Anyway, awesome drabble :)
SecretFruits chapter 1 . 3/10
I don't think I've ever read AlbusGellert poetry before, and it works beautifully. You have so much emotion here in so few words. I love the repetition, and how you alternate between did and didn't - really shows all of Albus's regret. And I love the last line, 'now you'll regret it forever', and how that stands apart from the rest of the poetry - really highlights all of Albus's regret. I like how you didn't make Albus completely idiotic or completely a victim, also - he made mistakes, but he also was in a hard situation and maybe did truly feel something for Gellert. Your characterization is on point.
The Crownless Queen chapter 1 . 3/9
Oh, AlbusGellert, nice! I feel like I haven't read this in forever - much less in poetry form. Because I don't know if that was your goal, but this does kind of feel like poetry, and it works very well to convey Albus' regrets and angst. I especially loved the rhyme between 'revolution' and 'ambitions'. Again, I don't know if that was voluntary or anything, but it was actually gorgeous and the two whole sentence generally work well together.
I love your characterization of Albus in this. It comes out as very clear in such a short story - and I'll refer to it as poetry from now on because that's absolutely what it felt like to me - and the use of the second person pov helps in that too, makes it even more poignant. I could actually feel Albus' emotions, the way he blamed himself for everything that had happened between him, Gellert and his sister. It actually kind of twisted my stomach, how strongly those emotions came off, and ugh, that was very good. I loved it. I want more fics like this one.
If I had one thing to reproach it would be that Aberforth seems to have... vanished? I can see how you probably didn't think he'd fit into this story, but it feels a little odd to read about that period of Albus' life and this incident without Aberforth being there as well.
I really enjoyed this fic. It was pretty great, and I loved how everything was so clear even though you didn't use any names.
Nice work!
Cheers!
jennybenny2845 chapter 1 . 3/9
Loved the style choice! The second person POV really pulls you in! I loved the repetition with “you should” and “you shouldn’t” starting off a lot of the sentences, and how each sentence was its own paragraph. This was a very realistic take on Dumbledore’s thoughts after Ariana’s death and realizing the mistake he made with his association with Gellert. Excellent job on writing such a powerful drabble, and even more so since it was under 200 words!
empyreal tempest chapter 1 . 3/8
wow, this was so deep and powerful! as someone who absolutely adores poetry, i loved this. these characters and their interactions hardly ever get written about, and something i especially enjoyed about this piece was its originality. you have a way with words- honestly, i could feel the regret like a tangible thing. this was absolutely and utterly amazing. it's so short yet able to convey so much. and i especially liked the repetition of "but you did, but you didn't,"; it really added so much to the feel and flow of the piece. overall, this was lovely and so delightfully dark and emotional.
~sienna
DobbyRocksSocks chapter 1 . 3/5
This is really interesting. I love the way you wrote it from Albus' mind, taking into account that most people already know the story of what happened. I love the shorter sentences too - for this piece they work so well, so I have to give you major props for that.
There were a couple of lines that really jumped out at me [Now your remorse isn't enough] and [Now you'll regret it forever.]
They really capture the character of Albus Dumbledore, especially so the way he was in his later years. I'm not usually a fan of fics like this, but I think you were pretty genius in the way you set this out, and the words you chose.
It packs an emotional punch, even being as short as it is. Well done :D
Cheeky Slytherin Lass chapter 1 . 2/12
I like that this is purely an insight into Albus' mind, rather than a story recounting everything. You managed to pack an emotional punch without giving any real details, because we all know exactly what this is about, and just ow.
While the repetition and choppy lengths of the sentences wouldn't work with most pieces, it helped to set the tone of this story. It made me feel sort of rushed and anxiously, which helped to give me a nice sense of dread, so I feel like you helped me to relate to Albus here.

This is so heartbreaking. I love how you didn't just choose one little moment for him to regret. You show us the aftermath of the moment Albus became disillusioned by Gellert, so it felt natural that, of course, he was going to be hit with every little moment and thing where he should have realized but didn't. And the inclusion of his sister's death… Ouch. Even without going into detail on it, you made me feel the punch in the gut.

This was such a simple piece, but it was saturated with emotion and drama. Well done.