|Reviews for Narcissus in Bloom|
| Guest chapter 1 . 7/28
Worst. Pokemon. Story. EVER!
That's saying something because I've come across hundreds of betrayal stories.
| Helios734 chapter 1 . 5/26
Twists at the end like those always make me blink. Then the gears start turning and what I once thought was a Square turns into a nicely done Circle. A great usage of Foil Characterization throughout the one-shot!
| Appna chapter 1 . 4/20
Fantastic, I incorrectly allowed some seemingly innocuous statements pass by until the end. It was at this point that the entire fic soured in my mind and it became disturbing. It felt like a trap, where I was just as ignorant as the narrator. I just hope this doesn’t say anything about me being narcissistic. Though given how easily this gelled until the end I wouldn’t doubt it.
| An Author's Pen chapter 1 . 3/21
You write this sick pov so well it's entrancing. The justifications layer on so smoothly, the creep from unstated desires to their fulfilment . . . I loved how you've expanded on the ralts sensing people's emotions/true natures lore. The only ralts that stays to be captured by him is one that can grow from twisted emotions.
The last few lines from her perspective were stunning. They also stand in great contrast to the narrator's. He spends the whole fic talking and justifying, never able to see past his own self-justifications. Shiromuku, who spends the whole fic silent, in four lines upends his narrative, and rewrites the story on her own terms.
I also like the choice in title - as if Narcissus's reflection fed off of him, and in the end triumphed.
Your writing is always tight, but in this fic especially all the choices of wording and phrasing feel very deliberate and certain similes "moves like a cloud" "like air moving through a dry red" were very effective.
| For45Why chapter 1 . 3/8
Stop spamming a flame review/Telling people what to do with their own god danm stories.
I can't believe how many reviews your little dumb group keep pulling out. Most people choose to ignore/block you when really there enough prove to get your accounts revoked ten times over. What's worse is you keep thinking yourself "Better then everyone else" and really your not.
Your basically a bunch of story Nazi's who really need to be taken down a peg.
| Discord123 chapter 1 . 3/8
You know your account can be REVORKED if you and your friends keep spamming peoples reviews/linking to your thread right?
Yeah that can happen. So stop it.
| Mai-danishgirl chapter 1 . 3/8
Well this has some wonderful understated horror.
I had a feeling something was wrong when she showed up like she did, considering the clear indication of the trainer's nature, but man, the pay off was more than I had foreseen.
| guest chapter 1 . 3/7
I think its better to call this "Narcissism in Bloom"
After all you are a pretentious douchebag.
| Keleri chapter 1 . 3/7
"He'd named her Shiromuku."
(le googles) "The Pure White Japanese Wedding Kimono"
"gently correct." "pruned away mistakes" "demure gardevoir"
"He's good for her. He's always been so good for her, and this just proves it further."
"All they wanted to talk about was why he refuses to see anyone these days, how wane he looks, wouldn't he consider getting out more?"
OH HO HOOOOOO
Super disturbing, and I love the reversal.
| lstwill56 chapter 1 . 3/7
Let me get this straight. I have meme avatar, I am a Neo-Pagan, I disagree with you and somehow that makes me a Neo-Nazi?
Great that's a huge jump in logic. No seriously you just assumed "He most be a Nazi!" just like that. You asked nothing else.
Yeah that totally not something a asshole would do... Oh wait it is!
For your information I'm a Social Democrat... you know what Social Democracy is?
Shows wht you know.
| MeganSH056 chapter 1 . 3/7
I'm sick and fucking tired of you bullying other people on here asshole. Oh and your boyfriend 's Fire too! Both of you get a life and get off of here forever! No one cares about you and him!
| Rose and Thorns chapter 1 . 3/7
I'm going to go out on a limb here. You know the summary is barely worth it. The story fells kinda generic if underwhelming.
Also the tendency for you and your friends to review other's people work like the way you all do is pretty annoying, if not outright hated by many. In fact you just got three or is it now four reviews on this matter.
You should really stop before people start organizing your removal.
| Fire4Heaven chapter 1 . 3/7
[His acquaintances started to send him odd looks. They'd say it was odd, or that he should train his pokemon equally, or some other gripe, but she was just a helpless little ralts when he got her. They didn't understand what she needed. They didn't understand she didn't need him to let up a bit. She appreciated everything he did.]
Sounds more like you just ripped a piece of your story and not a actual summary.
Your story has nothing but bare substance
Oh and you still haven't learned to stop getting in other people's stories and are now using guest reviewers that are very likely your friends is a desperate attempt to feel reverent.
STOP TELLING OTHERS WHAT TO DO. I can't stress this enough but you and your little group are literally hated because your arrogant assholes.
| Hybrid of Fate chapter 1 . 3/7
So are you still going to keep posting the same annoying reviews telling people what to do like always?
Cause we are sick of it.
| CuteCat213 chapter 1 . 3/7
He raised and perfected his own Yandere stalker. Nice.
The line that stands out most in this is the 'It is in constriction I expand' and it is HAUNTING.
Few little picks, though. You have several tense clashes, and one mistaken word.
(of the moon) have a progressively smaller part of its visible surface illuminated, so that it appears to decrease in size.
I think the word you were looking for was 'wan'.
(of a person's complexion or appearance) pale and giving the impression of illness or exhaustion.
"she was looking wan and bleary-eyed"