Reviews for Kite
Nelarun chapter 18 . 2/23/2010
Once again, I am in awe of your writing prowess! Thank you so much for sharing it with us!

Nela
Sithstrukk chapter 12 . 10/29/2009
That was great!
Scribe of Anadril chapter 18 . 2/5/2006
Yet another very good fic. Are you still rewriting it? And when does the squel come out? cause I can't find it in your story list.
Cael Fenton chapter 18 . 4/16/2005
Li-bird hitting the glass seems kind of symbolic - is it meant to be some kind of allegory?

The description of the scene of death at the gate was deeply moving. And i hope to see more of Shadow in Walk On, though I know that isn't likely.

This last chapter was the most well written of all. And i do like the trailer. Am still looking forward to Walk On, Jess, if you don't mind posting it here soon...
Cael Fenton chapter 17 . 4/16/2005
A very beautiful chapter. you deserve every bit of the praise you're waiting, and I'm sorry mine took so long coming.

Good descriptions, and so like Dooku to have overlooked Qui-Gon's injuries. Cutting dialogue, clear as a bell without being cliched or dry. Very accurate characterisation of Dooku, though Conn seems a bit off. Just like him to willingly burn down the Philomel hangar to exact revenge in a sense on Conn. Nice imagery and usage of the fire and smoke. And with every sentence, I just love Master Dooku more and more.

Liked how Qui-on shied away from the hypo needle. Healer Willow's a nice character. Good imagery, comparing Qui-Gon's scars to graffiti on an artwork. Dooku the caring master - hard to imagine. You've made it possible. Thanks for this story, Jess.
Cael Fenton chapter 16 . 4/9/2005
Hey, thank you, Jess, for this lovely extra-long chapter. Shadow was well-written, possibly my favourite OC here. Love how she ate the poor butterfly. Tahl and Qui-Gon playing in the field jus makes one go aw. Qui-Gon's reaction to seeing Conn was very realistic.
Cael Fenton chapter 15 . 4/9/2005
Qui-Gon shirtless! nice image! i like it, I do.

Dooku's reaction to Qui-Gon's contact was sad but not entirely unexpected. I'd have liked to see more of it. And I really like 'He was wearing that funny expression he had learned from Dooku, the one that so clearly said "I'm going to make you guess what's on my mind and then give you a vague answer."

And Qui-Gon *does* have a nice pretty little smile, doesn't he? I love it so. You described his reaction to Tahl calling the bird Li very well.
Cael Fenton chapter 14 . 4/9/2005
This chapter, while not as carefully styled as previous ones, has an intense, raw emotion in its cadence that overwhelms the reader in its urgent power. I don't know how you achieved it, but in so many good ways, it is deeply disturbing, and moved me to the core.

I love how you portrayed Tahl half-heartedly hiding her pain from Qui-Gon, as though she wanted him to know, to help her, but at the same time didn't want him to worry. You made her wonderfully alive and human, more so even than in the previous chapters. Unlike many other less experienced writers, you did not make the fatal mistake of allowing her to slip into heroic [and sickening] Sue-ishness.

Good descriptions of the rain. Again, while not obviously polished, it very, very effectively conveys the darkening chill of Elii Mwet, the forest of beautiful death, in a ferocious nocturnal thunderstorm perfectly.

Loved Qui-Gon in this chapter, but then again, I always love him. And cutting, efficient, yet loosely lax n dreamy dialogue. Bloody spot-on. The chracterisation of Tahl here was so dead accurate and believable, it's uncanny. One would almost think you knew her personally.

Very well done. Deep and thoughtful content.
Cael Fenton chapter 12 . 4/8/2005
Aw. Why dincha give a nice chocklit cookie to widdle Qui-Gon? and Jess, I need a cookie too.

I find it amazing how you switch from the ominuous tone of Elii Mwet to the playful lightheartedness of the stream scene. Wonderfully developed dialogue, one of your strongest points. Nice chapter.
Cael Fenton chapter 11 . 4/8/2005
the opening italics should be the subject of a painting. Qui-Gon's Dream. I love they way you write his affinity for trees, 'cause I feel the same way he does lots of times. And here, ladeez and germs, is the kind of dialogue that makes you weep with joy, smile through your tears, laugh with sadness.
Cael Fenton chapter 10 . 3/19/2005
Beside 'Defining Broken' this was another chapter I really liked. Balance of dialogue, characterisation, flashbacks ad pure, gorgeous emotion. Nice imagery and absolutely genius dialogue. The description of the sunset was so beautiful and enjoyable.
Cael Fenton chapter 8 . 3/19/2005
Tahl's teasing Qui-Gon was kind of cute. The dialogue was sweet but totally believable. I can just see young Qui-Gon going 'see, this is what I'm talking about.' Well done.
Cael Fenton chapter 7 . 3/19/2005
This is one of the most well-written chapters in the story. Inspired. Loved Li, loved Tahl, loved the description of the forest. Beautiful flashbacksTahl healing Qui-Gon

'You can't have this one' indeed. And Bono's lyrics are always appreciated.
Cael Fenton chapter 6 . 3/19/2005
Tahl was a little unrealistic early in the chapter but your characterisation improved by the time she met Li. a little bit of comic relief never hurt anyone and I'm glad you used it toward the end of the chapter.
Cael Fenton chapter 5 . 3/19/2005
Li is a great character. I hope to see him again in the sequel, if that's at all possible. It was refreshing to see his POV of Qui-Gon. and what do you mean this is the most violent chapter? I wouldn't have minded the Qui-torture going on a bit longer...but that just me I suppose
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